Totally under estimated how difficult ivf journey would be!

[Aimaim77]

I'm a very laid back person and thought i would go with the flow on ivf journey . But it's really got to me . Having that appointment yesterday and in renters hooks waiting to see what they say tmr.

I know there will be some knock backs and flays ect but I really didn't expect them so soon.

I'm normally very positive , chilled and go with the flow, but I feel very tearful, lost and drained.

And I'm still told to use the nasal spray ( God knows why if its supposedly not working)

Hardly slept last night - woke up crying and now have to go to work and be all jolly.

I have got really bad heartburn think it's stress.

My advice to anyone starting ivf Is prepare yourself for the lows . 😓😢😢 it's the hardest thing.

Any words of wisdom/ comfort/ advice are very welcome.

[Milly_Moo]

Oh I completely get where you are and hopefully this will bring you comfort. I'm a positive person too and the drugs really do take their toll on us. Your at one of the worst stage that I experienced as the down regulation drugs put you basically in false menopause so having to deal with unexpected news is a thousand times worse. Well it was for me. I don't understand what the test is for but I can assure you that when I started stims, I felt a lot better. The long protocol is much harder as we have a lot more drugs to contend with. You will get through this stage and look back and go... Sh*t those drugs were mental! It's so hard to feel that now but I just want to reassure you that when starting the stims I did feel so much better. It all hits us at different times too. The feeling of excitement at the start is how I felt but it does come and go and the hard work kicks in. It is a roller coaster ride so my advice would be that it will be hard at times but there are some times where it really is ok and you get your positive vibes back. I listen to hypnotherapy audio book every night and it has affirmations in it - so positive thinking about how the drugs won't affect you etc. I didn't listen to it initially on my second cycle (did first cycle) and once I started listening to it again, I found it helped. Her name is Bree Taylor and there are sessions for each part of the journey. Also I found drinking two litres of water/fluids a day helped with the headaches and having acupuncture relieved the stress for a few days and I got decent sleep after the session. I'm here if you want to private message me too if that helps. We are all incredible women to have to go through this. Mahoosive hugs coming at you xxx

[Hidden]

I feel for you Hun, having just gone through a failed cycle myself I was so unprepared for the emotional drain it's puts on you, and even though ours sadly failed have to say it's nice to be off the roller coaster for a while. Hopefully this will be just a blip and you can get going and start injections, maybe take some time off if you can xxx

[Georgina78 in reply to Hidden]

I have to agree with you about being off the roller coaster Button-123, after our bfn too the most unexpected feeling I've had is one of the relief of normality, even though I wish it had gone the other way of course 😔

It's almost nice to not be trying to interpret every tiny twinge, I felt like I was losing my mind some days! Having said that we will be doing it all again in a few months, I just wish I could buy an off button for my emotions in the meantime!

How are you feeling otherwise after your result? Do you have any next steps as yet? Good luck to you Hun xx

[Hidden]

Aaah honey,

I think everyone in here would agree with you. When I see posts if happy people just starting I think back to how I was happy but also inconsolable. My mum couldn't understand why I was so upset, after all, I got what I was waiting for, Ivf.

Perhaps my heart knew then what I was in for.

It's truly one if the worst experiences I believe we'll ever go thru. There are no guarantees no matter how hard we try.

I thought I was a reasonable chilled person. I deal with hundreds of stressing people daily in my job and get on with it.

But it's different when it's you, add in hormones, worry, desperation and no wonder we are a mess

God willing we will get through this and if we are lucky get the ultimate price to be a mummy.

Hang in there, you are fabulous and you can get through this, you are not weak, just human xx all the qualities that make a great mum xx

[Georgina78]

I know exactly how you feel Hun, I'm also usually a pretty go with the flow, fun loving type of person but throughout this process I honestly haven't recognised myself at times 😕

I was under no illusions that it would be hard but wow I didn't anticipate just how emotional and head smashing it would be. We've just had a bfn after our first cycle and we're so lucky to be entitled to 3 on the NHS but right now it's daunting to think of starting it all again.

I don't have any advice but know you're definitely not alone. Fingers crossed for your happy ending very soon xx

[Hidden]

Georgina78 reading your post is like I have wrote it. The thought of going through it all again feels scary but hopefully in a few months I will be raring to go. We have requested a follow up appointment and I have wrote down all the questions I want to ask, also going to an open night at another clinic we like just to see if they offer anything any different. As I have low amh we have been discussing using donner eggs or even adoption. So hard to know what to do for the best, think once we have the follow up it might be easy to make some decisions.

What about you?? X