Heart broken

Hi all,

I am new to this. Basically just over a week ago my husband found out that he couldn't conceive a child naturally due to the shape of his sperm. He was told 0% chance but miracles happen!!!

Anyway we have been referred to the hospital and I have checked and they have gotten this.

So what happens next? I think it's like a 2 month wait for this referral and I can't stand it. I've cried enough and I'm not very patient! Trying to be positive.

What happens at this referral appointment does anyone know?

Thank you

6 Replies

  • Hi there, welcome to the site. My hubby only has 2% normal shaped sperm along with a lower count and motility, so we were also told we had very little chance of conceiving naturally. Chances are they will refer you for a procedure called ICSI which is a very similar procedure to IVF.

    At the most simple level you will be given hormones which override your natural reproductive system and produce a large number of eggs. The eggs will be collected from your ovaries via a minor operation and mixed with your hubby's sperm to fertilise. They will then be left to see how many embryos grow and the best quality one or two transferred back inside you to see whether it implants.

    With IVF when the eggs and sperm mix they are left to do so naturally in a dish. With ICSI the hospital manually select the best looking sperm and inject each individual sperm into an individual egg. Only the head of the sperm is required to fertilise an egg so it doesn't matter that the sperm is misshaped and that's why ICSI overcomes this type of sperm problem.

    At our first referral apt they talked us through our initial test results then asked my hubby to book an appt to do a further sample so that they could analyse his sperm in more detail. Depending on what tests you've had already they may also want to do some tests on you to make sure you don't have any factors which could influence their course of treatment (whilst the basics are the same there are different protocols and medications which can get used). Most likely they will talk to you about your hubby's test results and how they plan to go forward.

    I know this can all feel quite daunting and overwhelming so don't expect to get your head around it all immediately. The best advice I can give you is to take it one appointment at a time and don't be afraid to ask your clinic questions about your treatmennt. This forum is also unbelievably helpful for questions or if you just want to have a rant or vent frustrations. The ladies (and a few gents) on here are loverly and really understand what you're going through so makes you feel like you're not on your own.

    2 months isn't a bad wait compared to some areas of the country. And I know it's frustrating to have to wait but time will pass. Good luck with your journey!

  • Hiya Lynn about a year ago my parnter got tbe same news only he has zero sperm count an that what we are goibg tho atm icis an ivf its so stressful but you get tho it its so heartbreaking but we are near the end im on the burslin injection go on Thursday for my scan then start another injection then he goes for is op on the 3rd of March to c if they can get anything. Good lu k for your journey ahead <3 x

  • Hi, great explaination by Lynn. We have same problem and are just waiting to start ICSI next month. 2 months is not long to wait (we had to wait 8 months after trying for 3 years) it felt like forever but actually time helps you mentally get ready for it all. The referral appointnent will either to see your local consultant to say they will refer you to fertility clinic and recommend ICSI as way forward or it will be to see the fertility consultant to agree what is the best treatment for you then we had a nurses appointment a month later to fill in forms, show you drugs and how to inject and she works out dates with your periods. Get a good book to read on the wait, his and hers survival guide to ivf is a great book and helped me understand what was going to happen. Good luck xx

  • Thank you for your replies. Lynn that was a great explanation it's made it even clearer. Rosy thank you too and Lynn I hope it all works out for you all.

    The 2 months is just what I've briefly been told. I'm not actually sure and that is just to see someone at the hospital initially. The whole treatment process - not sure how long it'll be to get that started!

    I phoned the hospital yesterday to make sure they got my referral and the nurse mentioned 8-10 weeks but then when she realised the issue seemed to be unsure on the timescale and gave me the details for the fertility nurse who apparently we meet first? I just get so confused by it all! I know it'll make more sense once we have begun to see who we need to see.

    I'm a teacher aswell so to juggle that and this is making me quite emotional and scared but I keep telling myself that my and my husbands life is more important and that we need to do what we can to realise our dream for a child.

  • Hello. I know how This feels. My darling hubby to has morphology and low count issues. We had icsi for three years. We're told we could never fall pregnanct naturally at all. But they were wrong. I'm now 18 weeks gone. So miracles defiantly do happen. Ours is a miracle baby. Hope this gives you some hope that just because of that diagnosis, that it doesn't meant it won't happen for you. Xxx

  • Hi

    You see couples like you do give me hope. We won't stop trying obviously it just feels like crap at the moment. And I have friends popping out babies and all I want is one! Congratulations to you both it really is wonderful to hear things like that. Xxx

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