Doesn't seem to be going well

Got a call from the clinic after my scan earlier today and being told egg collection should be Friday, now they're saying Wednesday because two follicles are big anyway so Friday may be too late for them, that the eggs would over mature. I'm absolutely crushed, this new drug was supposed to get more and better quality eggs than last time. Last time we had 10 fertilise but only 2 good enough by day 3, lost one early and then our daughter at 17.5wks (4 months). Been told this time prob 5 eggs will be the most they can collect if the follicles continue to grow like last time. Well nothing is going like last time. I'm so scared now. All the "it only takes one" thinking in the world really doesn't help. I don't know what's gone wrong, is it because I'm heavier this time? Is it stress? Is it just getting older? I'm gutted.

Sorry to be negative to those of you trying to be positive, I promise I really am trying

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18 Replies

  • Thank you enough for your reply and words of hope. I try so hard to be hopeful, it's incredibly hard, and getting harder with each loss. Congratulations on your embie's and I hope they continue to cook well for mummy xxx

  • Sorry to hear you're having such a rough ride. It's such a rollercoaster. Sending you lots of positive vibes.

    Did they give you a blocker which stops the follicules bursting when they are too big? They gave me cerotide. This allows any smaller ones time to catch up without loosing the juicy fat ones.

    What drugs did they put you on this time?

    And what did you have last time ?

    Don't give up hope, sweetie I only got 5 eggs, all 5 fertilised and 4 made it through to embryos and 2 transferred today on day 3.

    Each time is different and each cycle is different and the older we get the less eggs we produce so it could be all of the above or none of the above. There is no definitive answer Hun, you are nearly there and there is definitely hope and you still have a great chance with 5 eggs. I really do hope that it goes well for you. When is your EC? Xx

  • I've replied to you hun, just realised it's below xx

  • It's Wednesday hun. After last time I'm just so scared hannah143, but hard to explain sometimes that it's a fear that will never leave. I'm really trying to stay positive, but as I'm sure you know it's really hard. For it all to go so devastatingly wrong last time to get "worse" results now is just really scary. I'm on menopur this time, was gonal f previously, and I'm feeling a lot more hormonal this time. I've cried everyday, and full on near hysterical tears 3 times in 8 days, (not helped by the fact that we've recently found out we have to move.....great to hear when you've just slapped down 6k......and lost the house we had found). Had cetrotide each time once a day after a week of stims til trigger, just this time the op is obviously earlier.

    I've just taken my trigger. Feeling so bloody sad and doubting a million things all while trying not to focus on it.

    Thank you for replying and all the very very best for your test day xx

  • Be strong, and sending you lots of positive vibes. Xxx

  • Dear Parentsofangels, don't worry Annebell will be holding your hand throughout the process and will make sure that she will get a sibling which makes mom happy. BDW, my EC is on the same day as well (after all these drama) and yet to inject trigger. xx

  • Thank you, and good luck for your collection! My partner has just said that he will be waiting with Annabelle's bear for when I'm back on the ward. I'm not looking forward to it, but trying to remember each cycle is different so hoping thanks are gentler than last time xx

  • Sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment, remember you're only human and you're allowed to cry and feel emotional (especially when your body is being pumped full of hormones!)... I think us women are blooming amazing to have all these drugs and poked and prodded all the time.... so you deserve a break, try not to be so hard on yourself. Just because the results are different this time doesn't mean it's not going to work. Nature is a very weird, unfair and beautiful thing and you need to focus on the good.... which is that you have some folliclues growing, and you could get 5 eggs.... that's 5 whole chances for 1 embryo.... that's amazing! The fact they want to collect earlier just means they're giving you the best chance for some good eggs... they know what they're doing. Try not to compare to last time (easier said than done) and take some time for you... whether it's time with friends, read a book, go for a walk, have a meal with your part new etc and you'll feel better for it. All this worry and stress isn't good for anyone so you need an outlet... whether that's a big cry or a punchbag...or a good talk with a friend...or a massage... be kind to yourself and remember that whatever happens is nature... it's nothing you can control or change so you may as well think positive and be as calm as you can be. Chin up lovely.... we're all here for support. Sending you lots of positive happy vibes and wishing you all the luck for your collection xxx

  • Thank you for your kind words, I'm really trying to focus on the good but sure you know yourself it's difficult when your almost in a state of shock when things don't go as the doctors were sure they would. Harder each time to get positive in case you're wrong again isn't it. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have some hope left so I'm really trying to focus on that. Thank you all again it really means a lot xx

  • Hi. Just hoping all goes well for you today. Thinking of you. Diane

  • Didn't go great Diane. Originally hoping for more than the 13 last time. Then after two follicles got big quickly they expected 5 or so today. Even the large follicles were empty. Only 1 collected. I don't understand what went wrong

  • Hi Parentsofangels. I was wondering what happened to the 2 large follicles?? Had they erupted? With my medical hat on, although it would have been devastating, perhaps this cycle should have been abandoned, I don’t know, but on the plus side you have 1 viable egg, so hopefully that little one will fertilise satisfactorily into a good embryo, ready to be replaced where it belongs. I’ve been “at this game” for 20 years now, and have had quite a number of ladies who have been successful with just the one embryo, so do hang on in there and I do wish you both every good wish for success. I had a similar history to yourselves many years ago, when we lost our son at 38/40wks with a placental abruption the same as happened to your little daughter. Something I feel you never forget, but eventually in our case after surgery and “stuff” we were successful. Diane

  • All she said was the left ovary follicles were empty, the right she tried them all but only got one egg. We were about 50mins late going down to theatre, would that have caused some to be lost?

    I've had various tests and the hysteroscopy was to find out if further surgery was needed, but assured all was normal and nothing "wrong" other than other half's antibodies. My egg quality as far as I'm aware has never been questionable. I can only now pray the one egg does actually become an embryo. You're very right, it doesn't ever leave you and I'm so sorry for your loss. Our early miscarriages starting 16yrs ago haven't left us, let alone Annabelle. I don't think they expected there to be only one egg today. The specialist who made the decision to go in early said she wanted to do so as Friday would have been too late for the larger follicles that looked good and didn't want to risk the eggs being over mature, said the earlier would ensure a better chance of good eggs.

  • Hi. There is always a risk of follicles ovulating, this is why they probably got you in earlier so that they could find something before losing any. Obviously, until we aspirate each follicle big enough for an egg to enter, we just don't know what is in there, so maybe they were just empty!! We're just going to have to hold on to the little one you have, and hope all ends well. If you would prefer to email me at anytime - in confidence - no-one sees them only myself. My address is Diane

  • Thank you Diane. I'm just so confused by it all. My amh levels are really good for my age, I'm only coming up to 35. Yes I'm heavier than my last cycle as I put on weight during the treatment and pregnancy, but my specialist knows that and has never mentioned it. I've added in omega 3 and acupuncture, plus they wanted me on menopur this time which was supposed to increase yield and hopefully quality a bit, so to go from 13 to 10 is just so confusing. I just don't know what's gone wrong

  • Hi. I don't think that a slight weight increase would have been a problem, otherwise your consultant would not have carried on until back to "normal" BMI. Maybe the Menopur wasn't for you - I don't know. I'm off home now, but if you email me, I have a long list of questions for you to have a look through if you want me to send them. My emails are strictly confidential. There just may be one or two you hadn't thought of asking. Also, if you could outline your "history" for me, it will give me a better picture of what you have had done and treatments received. It's all a bit "bitty" on here, and I can only pick up what I think has gone on without knowing all the facts. Try and have a peaceful evening and rest if you can. I'm back on Friday. Diane

  • I know you're right about the weight, although it's not slight lol, but as you say they wouldn't have continued if it was an issue, just doubts are hard to not have. I have emailed you. Thank you again

  • Hi. Have received your email and will reply this morning. Diane

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