1st IVF cycle failed, how long before 2nd try

Hi, BFN on Friday, was still hopeful as no period then AF on Sat. Feeling numb, conversations with husband always about past decisions, not TTC sooner, i'm 39, 40 in Jan. NHS clinic (self-funded due to age and long waiting list) not proactive in telling us what happens next, follow up appt with Dr? How soon can we start our second cycle as time is not on our side? May have to go private to fit cycle in before end of year if poss? Any advice appreciated, thanks x

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  • Aw I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm 39 years old as well and about to turn 40 in January. I completely understand the pressure you're feeling. After my first fresh cycle I had to wait for 3 natural periods before the hospital would let me try again with the one wee frozen embie I had. I'm not sure if it's the same rules when you're self funding though. I know they like to let all the hormones settle down and to give your body time to recover from the treatment before they allow you to move on. In my mjnd I thought I was ready to try again straight away but realistically I wasn't, I appreciate now that my body did need those 3 months to recover. I would call the clinic and ask for a follow up appointment to discuss your treatment (ask if there are any cancellations). Do you have any wee frozen embryos you can use? Keep us posted 💙 x x

  • Thanks noodles_ i'll call the hospital and private clinic in the morning for advice. It's good to know your experience as I feel at the moment I'm ready to try again but maybe this is an adverse reaction to the need to be doing sth to 'fix' the situation sooner rather than later. It's just all the stats for success at 40 are low and I'm scared about making another wrong decision and delaying any further. We do have one frozen embryo but don't plan to use it yet. I dont know if thats the right decision or not? Its so sad thinking about the two embryos that didnt stick, we were told the they were strong and at the right condition for 3dt. Just trying not to dwell on every movement suring 2ww, whether we should have done anything different... BTW how did you get on the second time? x

  • I was given some good advice by one of the nurses at the hospital as I kept focusing on the success rates dropping at the age of 40. The nurse said to me 'your body's reproductive system doesn't just down tools and say right that's it she's turned 40 now' which when you think about it makes a lot of sense as it doesn't quite work like that. I had 2 x 3 day embryos transferred in my first fresh cycle in April - BFN 😢 I then had a 5 day blasto frozen transfer in August which also resulted in a BFN 😭 I'm currently on my 2nd fresh cycle & doing my injections. My egg collection op will either be Wed or Fri this week. Fingers crossed for 3rd time lucky. I think you should tell the hospital how you feel re your age and then at least that way if they can do your treatment sooner they will. I always remind the hospital about my age & tell them I'm anxious about having to wait too long between treatments. That's why I'm doing my 2nd fresh cycle a lot sooner. Are you doing any acupuncture/meditation? I find them both very helpful as far as helping me cope during treatment,they help me relax & keep my stress levels down (stress is an absolute no-no during treatment). The 2ww is the hardest, longest 2 weeks of your life. It's only natural for you to question whether you could have done something different but I think at the end of the day if it's gonna work it's gonna work. I don't think any one thing in particular would cause the treatment not to work. It's important that you try to stay strong, hopeful and focused (but remember it's okay to fall apart sometimes... we're not machines) 😙 x x x

  • Thanks for the great advice and encouragement. I will be bringing up each of these points with the clinic tomorrow. Our IVF journeys are very similar. Keeping everything crossed for you for next week x I dip in and out of yoga but stopped when I was going through my first cycle. I do get stressed really easily so I will need to really discipline myself, stay calm and slow down. Your strength and positivity is really uplifting as I've been dreading the start of every new day since Friday's disappointment. x

  • Just hang on to hope. One day we'll get our wee miracles 💕 x x

  • Hey sorry to hear your news my heart goes out to you both.

    3 cycles you have to wait hun. Unless you have any frozen embryos then yoi can normally go with your next bleed x

  • We were told we could go again after one period at our private clinic, due to other issues we had to wait 4 months. Although I wanted to try again ASAP due to my age (41 at first cycle) in hindsight it was better having a longer gap.

    Ring the clinic and book a follow up appointment, but they probably won't be able to give you an explanation.

    Try not to dwell on past decisions.

  • Normally u need 2 month but dr. Say it can be done after 1 month so to allow the system to relax and start over

  • Hi. I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. It seems from reading these posts each hospital has a different policy. We also had a BFN but are starting our next cycle after one period with an FET. After talks with the nurse though if we'd gone with fresh cycle it would need to have been 2 periods. Good luck to you. Xx

  • Hi I have had to wait for 1 period, it depends on your Dr/clinic, push for it as much as you can. I wish you all the luck.

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