Hope I've done right thing

Morning lovely ladies not sure if I've done the right thing my best friend is due her baby girl on Tue and last week asked me if I would go in the labour room with her and her partner said she's been wanting to ask me since she found out was pregnant but didn't want to upset me so now she's asked I said yes coz her mum is no use and never there for her my partner thinks I've done wrong thing as anyone that nos me on here have had two failed attempts of ivf so far and started my treatment again two weeks ago back to the hospital tomorrow for scan and if my lining has went nice and thin will get put on my tablets of course she will need someone bring strong when she's giving birth and don't no if I will be or fall apart xxxx

26 Replies

  • I think you're so brave agreeing to that. My best friend's just announced her third pregnancy and I'm really struggling to deal with it.

    I hope everything works out for you on your journey. xx

  • I really don't no if it's the right thing discobec but coz they want my there and when asked I was on the spot but she's been lovely saying if it's to much just say so me saying yes is a massive thing as I can't even go in a shop with baby clothes etc without breaking down awww it's definitely hard when someone tells u there pregnant and there so excited and u just want to burst out crying really hope ur OK hun and thanks 3rd time lucky hopefully 7 years is so long it's my turn to be happy now xxxxxx

  • It's really tricky for you. I imagine you've thought of nothing else since you were asked. Ultimately you will know in your heart if you'll be able to cope with it. I know I wouldn't handle it well at all. I hope you're able to make the right decision for you, but I would say, don't feel guilty if you decide you can't do it. You have enough on your plate to be getting on with. Let us know how you get on. Xx

  • It has been discobec I just don't want to be an emotional mess I think will be so beautiful to watch at the same time defo let u no how I get on huni xxxxx

  • What a lovely thing to do despite what your going through yourself xxx

  • Thank you button-123 really hope I hold it together as it's her special moment dont want it to be about me xxxxx

  • It's a tricky one I've just had this situation we have failed twice and waiting to go to next appointment and my bestest friend went into labour with her second and wanted me with her (August 15th!!) it was so hard to see it but so lovely at the same time.

    I've been very jealous of my friend but for her to allow me there for such an amazing moment was brilliant even when I was the only one in the room sobbing as he came out lol it's an incredible experience and I got upset but not over my own situation but at how amazing and emotional it was.

    It's up to you how u feel about it xx

  • Aww Lotbot really sorry to hear that it's horrible isn't it 😔 see that's wot I think I will be like amazing to watch my niece being born at the same be emotional xxxxxx

  • Yeah I didn't even think about my own situation the whole time, u don't really get time to stop and think. Her partner was really good too including me in everything and wanting me to bring their first son up to meet him. I was surprised with myself that I wasn't jealous at all over the course of that weekend xx

  • Hopefully I will be like that as well just need to think this isn't about me it's about my best friend and her baby girl xxxxxx

  • You're braver than me. I don't think I would want to be in the labour room with anyone.

    You have to do what feels right for you, your friend clearly wants you there but perhaps asking you a few days before the imminent date wasn't the best idea, but there probably wasn't a right time.

  • My mum and my partner dont want me to go in pm27 as it will be hard for me to watch but I've already said yes well she said from the start she wanted to ask me but didn't want to upset me she's been so lovely about it all and coz her mum doesn't bother her arse think she just wants a woman with her aswel as her hubby xxxxxx

  • I did. It was fine, I don't know why. She had a water birth and her hubby had just fractured his spine, so it was a bit of an emergency. I thought I'd be jealous as this was her second baby in 13 months. I held her hand as she was stitched up and then made sure her house was ready for the tinies arrival at home a few hours later.

  • Aww that was lovely of u it's her 2nd child and she never planned either just says it just happened I really hope I can handle it aswel as u did that's wot we need to do as they just bought a new house last month so trying to get everything in and ready for baby to come home xxxxx

  • Your brave I lost s great friend cos I couldn't handle her pregnancy we wee inseparable....

    I couldn't do it am depressed as we have had 1 lady go off on maternity and ready to burst and another just walked in with scan pic and I am all over the place...

    Life is not fair

    Good luck xx

  • Awww tamtam1 life really isn't fair at times I nearly lost her to as I couldn't handle her pregnancy for about 3 month I never saw her but we have got closer again I planned a baby shower myself for her which was hard but love her and trying to be a good friend but my partner doesn't think I should as am always such an emotional mess aww hun not nice being at work or round people being pregnant it's Defo cruel really hope ur OK big hugs xxxxx

  • Hey lovely lady

    Do what you feel is right only you can make that decision it's a big ask considering your predicament but you know....

    Would have been fine but niece just announced she is pregnant and gets pregnant at the drop of a pin....having a low day xxx

  • Awww tamtam1 really hope ur OK it's so horrible when someone tells u there pregnant and there over the moon and u try so hard to smile and say congratulations but can't get away quick enough am always last to find out in my family if anyone is pregnant as don't want to upset me life really is cruel am just trying to be a good best friend but don't want to mess my head even more but she's so excited for me going to be by her side I can't even say no now xxxxxx

  • I personally couldn't do it, but mainly because I'm so squeamish. If you think it will upset you then just say no, she already has her partner there, and it is a big ask of anyone nevermind someone going through IVF. Also she might end up with a caesarean and you'll just be waiting around a lot. Will you feel closer to your friend and the baby if you see the birth or if you meet the baby after the birth?

    I'm sure the right decision will come to you. Best wishes, xxx

  • Awww smallcat my head is kinda a mess with it all now as my partner and mum don't think it's a good idea just Coz how emotional I am I can't even go pass a pregnant lady in the street I get upset but just coz she wants me there so think. Time to try be strong for her if I feel am getting upset I will just leave the room awww just don't no thanks hun xxxxx

  • Hi lynsey86 . We being trying for 3 years . We had hard times many times . I went thru IVF in March but we end up BFN....we even sow cancelling . My younger sis in low just had a baby girl 4 weeks ago. Thru her pregnancy I find hard to be around and few weeks before knowing my "problems "...par from IVF she ask if can be there with her . I say yes but my mind and heart was saying no don't do it is going to be harder for u ... I being there from beginning all way thru till the end. Is amazing experience but after u felt so attached to the baby...I cry I had swining moods I didn't know what is wrong with me😔😔 I was sad feeling down when I didn't see her one day I miss her like "she was my "...not seeing her only less then a day I felt so empty inside ... I wish not to go ...and I knew how that will effected me... If I go back in time I will fallow my mind and my heart Hun ...

  • Awww hun sorry it hasn't worked so far for u life really is cruel ohhh really I can see how that can happen I think the hardest part for me will be when they get handled there daughter aw seeing them so happy ino I will just be thinking will that ever be me and my partner am guessing coz it was only 4 weeks ago ur still feeling all these things big hugs hun xxxxx

  • Is hard Lynsey86 Really hard . My hubby told me last time I should say to her in nice way NO ..for simply reason that she know what I went through and that is hard for both of us ... I know he is wright because affecting my every day life . Think Hun is not to late to change your decision . Xxx

  • My partner is the same with me he's telling me am just going to make myself worse as so emotional as it is she's been phoning me all day as today is her due date she's asked me to spend tomorrow with her as hubby is working aww just hope don't mess my head up even more by trying to be there for my best friend xxxx

  • It will be an emotional experience no matter whether you were going through fertility struggles. It might give you a boost to keep going and remember what all the scans and injections are all about. Don't worry too much about your emotions because it will be her day no matter what.... and just let yourself feel what you need to feel.

    If you change your mind then I'm sure that'll be ok too. She might be very emotional because it's so close to the birth, but I'm sure in time she'll understand.

    She must really love you to want you there to support her. X

  • That's an amazing thing to do - you will have such a special bond with that baby and your friend! Stay strong! I think it's an incredible thing to offer to do! Let's not let IVF and it's many hurdles get in the way....you do it and be proud of yourself! Good luck! Xxx

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