looooong journey

[InTheMiddleOfIt]

hi, we started trying 2 years ago, after a year of monthly pregnancy tests and fertility tests and false expectations accentuated by irregular cycle the GP gave me the all clear on my side, my husband finally decides to get tested and it came out as very low sperm count meaning very little chance to conceive naturally. it was devastating and it took me a long time to grieve and accept the situation, can t talk to anyone as it is very personal and also unless you are in the same process you have no idea how depressing it is, the hubby was of no help too what i got from him was he s only doing this because i want kids, i feel so isolated and alone. i keep trying to think positive, that at least there is a chance, i go to the gym daily and manage to pack my week ends with activities but sadness and depression just keep crawling back. since we started trying 7 friends have fallen pregnant and i keep hearing at every gathering that i m next and it s only me left now without mentioning all the pressure from the family at almost each phone call.

we started the process at leatherhead hospital, it took ages for the referral letter to come through then after the appointment we had to wait another 6 months for the next one, the urologist appointment was a nightmare but once we got that we had the tests and the follow up done privately to speed thing up he told us to expect ICSI. today was the second appointment at the fertility clinic with the virology tests and another hormone test as it has to be in the last 6 months. now we were told that the referral to kingston hospital could take up to 6 months again and that we re quite lucky because of the fertility lottery.

everything is so slow that it s consuming and draining every last bit of energy and we haven t even started the real deal yet

[Anjel2]

Hi ZinebBC,

You are not alone. I think the worst bit is all the waiting. I tell my husband that I'm not impatient I just wait in a hurry! Lol

Infertility is all consuming and seems to take over everything, it's all you can think about and it seems to be one wait after another. It's taken us over 18 months from our initial GP appointment to finally receive IVF treatment. I am half way through my first cycle of long protocol. If you haven't already please try counselling as it can be very helpful. I had individual counselling and my hubby and I both went to couples counselling too. Hang in there, it's a journey but will be worth the wait.

Good luck x

[InTheMiddleOfIt in reply to Anjel2]

the consultant said there is meetings for people with infertility issues at a private fertility clinic but i don t know where and who to ask for counselling?

i admit that i have some resentment against my husband as he seems much cooler about things and he s doing the minimum for this which is attend the appointments (no habit change)

[Anjel2 in reply to InTheMiddleOfIt]

The fertility clinic we are attending offered us 3 sessions with our first round of IVF treatment. However, we ended up paying for private counselling before we even got to the IVF. It might be worth a phone call to your local fertility clinic. If you are not sure who to call ask your consultants secretary she may be able to advise you.

My husband is much more laid back than me, he tells me not to worry and if it happens it happens! Which I can honestly say doesn't help me one bit! Lol x

[InTheMiddleOfIt]

Thank you so much, it s very helpful

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi ZinebbC. Just to add to the other's comments. Infertility counselling should be offered to you at your clinic whether NHS or private. If for any reason you cannot access a session, then you might try contacting the British Infertility Counselling Association at bica.net there is a charge for their services, but they are specially qualified in infertility issues. Diane