A big thought

Hello all to you lovely ladies.

So after five embryo transfers, the last one ending in misscarriage after a positive test. We have one more embryo to go with. Which We are looking to do in April. But I had this massive jolt that if this does not work, then that is it for us. And we may never have children. We can't afford to do anymore treatments after this one. And I'm not sure I could cope with a fresh cycle again anytime soon. My phoabia of needles has come back with a vengeance. Have thought about adoption but don't know if it's for us. But I am feeling stronger each day that goes by. And am starting to prepare for the next go. By having osteopath treatment to sort my body out with relaxation and restating my Brain affectively. Very clever stuff. And a holiday with our puppy. And I am very grateful for all the I do have in my life. My hubby, puppy, friends, family, and all the support on here I have had. Sorry for essay. Lots of love. ️Xx

12 Replies

  • Stay positive and be happy whatever happens in life knowing you tried your best.

  • I think that as you are looking to the future it shows you are getting stronger by the day.

    Someone that my hubby works with went through ivf which was negative and they ended up getting pregnant naturally within a couple of months later!!

    Never say never...it will happen for you!! Some people just have to work harder for what they really want....unfair for those that would be great parents, but life can be cruel sometimes...


  • Hello,

    I am not sure what Piglets situation is, and I know you message with the best intentions.. however please be aware that there are a lot of ladies on here who physically cannot conceive naturally (me included) so the stories about 'such and such that gave up on IVF then conceived naturally out of the blue' are not relevant, and can be very frustrating.

    This can only happen to people that have unexplained infertility. If there is a specific medical issue, it cannot and will not happen. In my case I do not have Fallopian tubes, but this does not seem to stop friends and family telling me I could 'fall pregnant when I am not expecting it'. For some people IVF IS the only option and we need people to accept that.

    In my case IVF is a success story as I am now 16 weeks pregnant from my second attempt. even though I tell people this will be my one and only baby, they still always say 'you never know what might happen when you're not expecting it'.

    Sometimes we need people to just accept what is, is. Yes it may happen, but a lot of us also have to accept that it might not, and need others to do the same.

    I do believe that we will all make our lives work for us, whatever happens and whether we are able to have children or not. We all find our own kind of happiness.

    Good luck Piglet! The fact that you got that positive last time is a really good sign.. really hope this time works out for you xxx

  • Hi Katrina13.

    Congratulations on your successful pregnancy :-)

    You are right, my message was meant to be supportive and give hope to those people that it applies to.

    We all have to have hope that it will work for us somehow and some day in the future, be it through ivf, natural or adoption at some stage.

    I think the people I have been chatting to on here in a bit more depth about my situation, will know that I meant no malice with what I said and I've even been sympathetic not to have created a separate post about getting a positive this week through IVF, as I was aware that there were quite a few ladies that it hadn't worked for recently and I didn't want to cause them any extra pain.

    I can understand your point, but we are all on here because we want the same thing...support and children.


  • You're right, we are all different. I was speaking from the fact that I did (and still do) find these kind of stories about post failed IVF miracles very upsetting. I have a couple of friends who have had both successful and failed IVF who feel the same way. For me I found realism a lot easier to take. I still do not know if my pregnancy will be successful as there are issues, but I do know that we will make the best of our lives no matter what. I came to terms with the possibility of not having a child and eventually found this gave me more strength to carry on, but yes, we are all different.

    No offence meant!

  • Morning Piglet, Wow what a big thought and to be honest it shows how strong you are and what an incredible lady you are. I wish you all the best for your next round and really hope you get what you have been trying so hard to achieve. I have also considered adoption and if IVF doesn't work for us I think this is the route I will take. There are so many poor babies who are born without a Mother who wants them or who is able to give them what they need. If you could make such a huge different to a little babies life, what an incredible thing to do. However, you seem to have so much love and support around you, it's heart warming to hear :-) Sending you a big hug and like Deedje said....atleast you'll know you did all you could xx

  • Piglet if I have offended you with my message then I apologise x

  • Quick reply to holibob. As im at work. No offence taken. ️Xx will reply to others later. As I prefer to do it indiviualy. ️Xx

  • Hello Piglet, I think you're doing the right thing taking time to yourself to relax and re-group. I wish you all the best with your next treatment, and believe you have every chance of success.

    Adoption, I think, is a whole new journey. It's one my husband and I have discussed but we're not ready to take that road until we exhaust IVF first. I understand adoption may not be the right choice for everyone but, in some of my darkest moments, I've been comforted by the idea that our baby may already be born is waiting for us to come and find him/her.

    Best wishes x

  • Hi piglet, I am glad you are feeling more positive. Thank you for sharing this with us all, has helped me to feel positive too. I wish you all the best with this cycle. Best of luck xx

  • Piglet it is lovely to hear your positive statements about the good things that are happening in your life now, especially after all the trials you've been through recently- you are an incredibly strong lady and I really hope you get good news in April. Are you having counseling? I found CBT really helped with my needle phobia.

  • Hey. I'm glad you're feeling half strong half not! It's exactly where I'm at. You kinda have days where you think ok I'm gonna do everything I can to be positive healthy and happy before the next attempt, but then out of no where sometimes the scared, worrier low you bites you on the bum doesn't it! We have our second attempt, after miscarriage, in early March - FET and like you this is our last attempt. It's just so much money and we've already spent money we haven't got! I had a bit of melt down in January thinking and feeling so negatively about the FET, and felt so loo about it being our last go. But my patient assistant at the clinic said it's not over yet! And why not put yr energies into your next go in early March rather than upsetting yourself about what may or may not happen. Of course she's right. So I've picked myself up and like you I'm trying to think about all the lovely things in my life and staying upbeat that it's not over for us yet. My husband very wisely said don't try and control the uncontrollable and why upset yourself about what MAY happen in march, take it day by day. Bless him he's right. So that's why I'm doing

    All the best of luck to you lovely. I hope from the bottom of my heart that this is our time xx

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