Doctors grrrrr

Can someone tell me if this is normal, I've had a letter from my doctors saying the following .......Mr mostafa's nursing sister has sent a request for information on any past or present factors which could affect your parenting ability ....... So because I can't conceive naturally they get to do what ever checks they want?!??? Is this normal ????I'm so angry about this at the moment !!!!

Why do they get to play God and decide who deserves a chance at having a baby

9 Replies

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  • not sure if its the same thing but just before we started we had to fill in forms all about past convictions etc

  • Hi Litle_miss1980. Before embarking on IVF or similar, you will be asked a series of questions relating to your social circumstances in person or by asking you to complete a questionnaire. These questions are part of an assessment, known as the “welfare of the child” which clinics are required to perform in order to determine whether a resulting child is likely to face serious medical, physical or psychological harm. They will ask you if you have any previous convictions related to harming children, if you have had contact with social services over the care of existing children, any violence in the family, serious drug or alcohol abuse and any serious mental or physical conditions. Sorry for all the detail, it’s not nice, but everyone has to do it. Diane

  • Yep, I had to do it. Part of the HFEA requirements, just like the blood tests are - we all have to do it. But yes, it does feel strange. If only all parents were checked thoroughly beforehand hey!

  • Thanks for everyone's help think my clinic should of us given us more information on procedures as getting letter from my gp asking me to make appointment about it was like bolt out of blue also think gp letter could of been worded better.

    Probably doesn't help I'm going for SALP test this afternoon so very stressed just want all this over and done with and start making positive steps.

    It's lovely that everyone is so helpful on here

  • Its ridiculous, my doctor gave us the form and said its not fair if only every tom, dick a d harry had to do it to have kids but unfortunately not.. X

  • Hi, Is this the welfare of the child form? We also had to complete one and it is so frustrating when you see teenagers getting pregnant and parents who blatantly could not care less about their kids and take being a parent for granted! Bet they don't have to fill out a form? So annoying, but just take a deep breath and I guess we just have to jump through a few more hoops to have our babies.

    Hope you're feeling better now, but totally understand where you are coming from xxx

  • Hello. I do understand how uncomfortable this is. But its for good reason. We had to do the same. I remember thinking this child will be so loved that these questions are stupid. But they are key. When we were at one of our appointments at the clinic, another couple were there. But the husband was so drunk it was unreal. I could not believe it. His poor wife sat there while he blabbed there whole story to us with no respect for her. And was like this will be a walk on the park. Me and my hubby did not know what to say. And we never saw them again in the clinic. Hope you understand my rambling. Also hope your feeling better. Lots of love. ️Xx

  • Hello! I would have had the same reaction as you to this form so thanks for the heads up! I can understand why they ask, but I can also understand why it's upsetting to be asked!

    How did your SALP go? x

  • SALP test went ok staff were lovely which makes it all the easier. Just have to wait for results on 17th feb.

    Went to doctors today about letter that didn't go so well, she was concerned about the depression I had 14 years ago :-$ it wasn't anything major I got anti depressants Abd was fine I think total I was on them 9 months........ This is why she wrote to me about my parenting ability!!!!

    Siggghhhhh how many hoops do we have to jump through if there going to see problems from 14 years ago and blow them up out of proportion

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