Partner wont stop smoking

[Kizza07]

Im so upset and angry with him he wont stop what can i do x

[Hidden]

Can he try those e cigarettes? He sounds like he is very addicted so these electric cigarettes have nicotine in them apparently. I have never smoked so cannot relate but it is very addicted for people. He probably needs support but yes, it is very annoying. I really am not a fan of smoking and it can impact sperm. Is his sperm the cause of the fertility problems?

[Katied84]

Oooo that's tricky, seems a little unfair of him. I've R ever smoked either tho so maybe like yellowrose said, he might need some support with it. Have u looked into support groups in ur area? Or chatting to a gp about it? Xx

[SparklyT]

What reason has he given for not wanting to stop? My hubby hates being told what to do, so sometimes I find it just best to leave it and then try and have a more rational discussion with him later. But I think @yellowrose's e-cig idea is a good one!

[Miroslava]

Hi .. my partner never actually said he stoped for us goin thru IVF .. he stoped with help of electronic cig was on it for about two months then got himself couple of nice cigars which are less harm and hes doin very well off fags for year now .. and he had good result we have sperms frozen for 6 cycles .. try to explain how important it is and if he wont blame himself if things go wrong. Tell him all girls from health unlocked are begging him to stop for both of u and future family hope he will at least try x

[kjornsby]

It's a tough on, my hubby was exactly the same. It caused no end of rows and did put strain on our relationship.

In the end I sat with him and asked him whether he truly wanted a baby, and when he said yes I asked whether smoking and not having me or a baby in his life was more important. Sounds harsh but that's what it came down to, I lost over 7 stone and gave up smoking myself to meet NHS criteria so I had done everything I could but he was holding us back. I even called to make our name off the waiting list at one point and was completely honest with the nurse, luckily she gave me some advice on what to tell him and he stopped long enough to have a surgical sperm recovery.

Unfortunately 0 sperm was found so we have to use a donor, hubby is now a full time smoker again as he doesn't see the point in not smoking now.

Maybe call the clinic for some advice on what to say to him?

[WeeMrsH]

My hubby was reluctant to stop at first too- really because it's just so difficult. I've never smoked so cannot relate but had to lose a stone and have reduced caffeine- so I'm doin my bit!! His argument was gents who smoke/drink father babies all the time so what's the issue, but the point is when you're struggling to conceive you can't think of the other "norms" that apply, you have to take it back to basics. His first sperm test was borderline and it took a year for him to come round to finally giving up smoking (he had tried on and off) and now is 6 months off the ciggs. Don't get me wrong he breaks the odd time when he's very stressed at work, and has the odd puff of e-cig but has cut down drastically. He had another test in Nov and his swimmers are good so I think this is spurring him on to keep going, as somethjng must be helping!! If you can use any of these anecdotes to convince your other half please do!!! Good luck xx

[Kernishp]

Has your hubby had a sperm test? When mine had his done and some of the figures and percentages were lower than where they should be, he stopped smoking. It was seeing the effect of it in numbers on a page that actually hit the point home.

[Kyra-J in reply to Kernishp]

Well the first time he done one when he was a heavy smoker it came back all normal healthy.

now he has to repeat it as it has gone pass 3 months he seems to think it will be normal as it was before. I hope it is but I don't want it to affect the embryo, if that makes sense

[Kizza07]

Yes his swimmers where fine when he got tested ive asked him whats more important so i hope he does go to the doctors he said hes making a appointment on monday so heres hoping he sticks to it xxxx

[Kyra-J]

My partner stopped smoking. But I found out he has been smoking a few. He seems to think because his sperms are normal it will not have a affect on the IVF treatment as I am the one with the infertility. Is he right am I just over thinking? I want this to work and if it don't I don't want to blame him for not fully stopping

[Kizza07 in reply to Kyra-J]

My partner still wont stop same reason cause he is okay then he doesnt see the issue weve been together nearly 6yr now and i feel that am gonna have to let him go at somepoint i know that sounds really harsh but he seems to make very little effort i was ment to start my second round about over two year ago now but my dog got cancer and had to be put to sleep then i lost my dad suddenly just before xmas I really want to start my second round soon but his smoking is really starting to grate on me 😡 X

[Kyra-J in reply to Kizza07]

I totally understand where you are coming from.

He has the easy route to this and I don't understand how he can't put his feet in my shoes.

I told my partner if he is not willing to stop I will rather get a donor. I know it sounds bad but I want to make sure I do all I can to make it a success.

I've been with my partner for 6 years too and I think leaving now will just slow the process down but then again at least I won't need to stress about him giving up smoking.

Will you do a donor if you decide to leave?

[Kizza07 in reply to Kyra-J]

I feel exactly the same ive mentioned a donnor aswell and he still doesnt seem to bother tbh 😮 He has a addictive personality and has been smoking for probably around 16yr yes it will be hard to stop. But he is making little effort and im always nagging which ends up in fall outs x

[Jad537]

Mine is the same. I have my first fertility apt tomorrow and he is still smoking 😔

[Kizza07]

Its horrible he still hasnt stopped sadly ive had three ectopics so ivf has been put on hold for now i hope everything goes well but trying to get them to stop is a nightmare xx

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Try gum

[Bella_Bee]

Nothing you can do. Especially if his sperm has tested normal, he just won't see the incentive. I smoked for 15 years. Right up until my first IVF. And restarted when it failed. It is incredibly incredibly INCREDIBLY difficult to stop. And beyond the addictiveness of nicotine, it is a massive life crutch. I stopped almost a year ago, 5 months before starting the second round of IVF which did work. I used the Relx e cigarettes to help me for the first 3 months then I stopped that too. I always tell people I'm a non smoking smoker though. I know full well that I'm probably a few cigarettes from starting again once the baby is born.