Having a bad day.

[jillmooney]

It has been a week since I had a negative result and it doesnt seem to be getting any easier. The clinic told me they would send me a letter for a review appointment and I was wondering if anybody knew how long this would take to come through. I feel like I have just been left and forgotten about. xx

[P_willy]

Hi jillmooney,

I had an appointment 2 weeks after me negative but I had to go private so they're pretty good. I know what you meant about just being left, I feel the same. But I can assure you it gets easier to deal with the hurt and anger! I spent weeks crying, I started getting over it and then my sister in law had her baby and I was back to square one

[tandy123 in reply to P_willy]

hello p_willy could you please informed me where did you go private and how much did it cost you. thank you.

[P_willy in reply to tandy123]

I went to spire Thames valley and it cost just over £6k x

[Melaineh]

Hi mrs am the same a called to see if they could tell me when a would be seen and they says prob send letter with app n next 2 weeks , xx

[MrsBMrsB]

I would call the clinic, I really would. Tell them you are struggling and would like to know as soon as possible when you can see the doctor for your review. Also maybe you could ask them about counselling; I don't know what counselling is available at your clinic but they should have a specialist infertility counsellor available.

My only experience of counselling was bereavement counselling I had when my father died last year. When I first went I think I spent the first four or five sessions crying and talking, which whilst cathartic, didn't feel especially helpful for me to do in counselling sessions. However after that time when I began to be able to talk about it calmly it became clear that the counsellor knew that this was all part of the process and he'd been guiding me through that to the point where we could start to discuss things properly and work through my feelings. I think from what I hear counsellors vary a lot, and you can be unlucky and get one you don't feel is helpful or you don't click with. I think you may be able to ask to change if that's the case. I can't recommend counselling enough, to be honest. The only thing I would say is that I've never just had one session and I'm not sure of the benefits of having just one session, which I think is what you can have as part of your cycle without paying extra (although all the clinics seem to vary). Others may say it's been helpful for them.

Either way, if you are feeling terrible you will need to ask for help and you'll need to remind the doctors that you're still their patient. Just when you're feeling at your lowest ebb you have to be the one to reach out! Rubbish, isn't it? But you need information, answers, practical advice etc as well as counselling and your clinic are the ones to be able to provide this.

And if it's any help at all, I think I can speak for everyone on here, we all send you a big massive internet hug. xxx

[Missmmc]

Hi Jill, all NHS hospital and clinic will be different depending on their waiting list. I had to chase mine up by email but still took 8 weeks before I had my review. I'm now NHS self funding and was told there was no waiting list for self funders but still had to wait before starting my next cycle. So 6 months between cycles. But I live in London and being treated at a very busy hospital so may be different for you depending where you live.

Also I was desperate to start my next cycle ASAP even considering going fully private, but in time I felt better came to terms with it and now actually pleased it has taken a few months because I feel much more mentally prepared this time. So I know it hurts but really does get better with a little time.

Good luck x

[tandy123 in reply to Missmmc]

hello missmmc, i c where you were offer nhs self funding, which hospital in london did you go thro. i am living also in london plz let me know asap. or can you send me your number so we can have a talk plzz thanks.

[mai5ie]

Hi Jill, I remember feeling exactly the same way, I felt like because it had failed they didn't want to know. I was about 2-3 weeks when I got the letter and after the consultation I felt alot better. I am now waiting for my natural frozen transfer! Take care xx

[Hidden]

Hi jill, i know how you feel, i had a failed ivf aswell, my story was even more heart breaking, i was ok until egg collection, but the fertilsation failed and i didnt even go back for the embryo transfer. I went for counselling.my nhs clinic was good they gave me an appointment 3 weeks after. But my review appoinment is not until 27th november. Me n my partner were frozen for aweek n now im much better. Im taking everyday as it comes. And trying to keep myself until the review appointment. In my area they do 2 fresh cycles only so i guess that will be my last chance as i will not be able afford privately. Also my age isnt on my side. Il b 39 next march.

i knw its easier sais than done, but try to be positive and focus on something else for a while, atleast until you have your review appointment.

A big hug for you

[jillmooney]

MrsBMrsB i rang the clinic to see about seeing the councilor and they said she was on holiday till the 22nd of this month, I feel there should be cover for these situations instead of us just being left. All I want is to speak to a professional, IVF has been my whole life for the past 2 month and now i just feel lost, like I have been forgotten. Just wishing this review appointment would hurry up xx

[gill76]

Hello huni I had an appointment a month after our failed Ivf ours was in May and it's still so hard look after yourself and just think there's always your second try wishing you the very best for the future xxx