Alternatives to ivf : Hello to all u... - Fertility Network UK

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Alternatives to ivf

17 Replies

Hello to all u lovely ladies.

I've been diagnosed with unexplained infertility have son from previous relationship have been trying 2 years 10 months with hubby.

Been told ivf is the best route for us trying anything else is wasting time and money :(

I've seen this new product on the market stork conception kit costs £100. Can u use it for more than than one cycle? Am considering it as a viable option any thoughts on this product would be really appreciated.

Many thanks

Jess x

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17 Replies
MrsBMrsB profile image
MrsBMrsB

I've never heard of that, what does the product claim to do and how does it work, do you know?

Hi there neither had I till a few days ago a lady was talking about it on here . Apparently u collect sperm in a cup provided and put inside this tube that looks like a tampon and is like a tampon in that u insert it like one and leave it in there for 6 hrs it gets the sperm closer to where it needs to be. It's like a cross between sex and iui I'm so desperate I will try anything.

Baby dust to u X x x

Katrina13 profile image
Katrina13 in reply to

I can't really see it myself. Sex is an evolved natural process and the penis is designed to squirt the sperm as far in as it can go, and the cervix is designed to let it in and send it on its way. I don't see that this kind of intervention is needed. I do have a friend though that swears by post-sex female orgasm as a way to help it on it's way - now that is definitely worth a try!! :)

You hear about so many supposed miracle techniques, from fertility monitors to cough mixture.. I totally understand though wanting to try everything. However I think the most important thing is making sure there is no underlying issue. Have you had all tests and are sure your other half doesn't have semen issues, or your tubes etc are all ok?

in reply toKatrina13

Sometimes you just get so desperate. We've been trying for almost 3 years now and had all the tests and we have officially diagnosed as unexplained which is so frustrating I in a way which there was a reason why we haven't conceived yet. So ivf or trying are our only options so we've decided to go with ivf as we feel it has a better chance of working. When I wrote this post I was beyond heartbroken that ivf was our option in terms of treatment. I've come to terms with it now and am feeling more positive about it now :) Having to go private(don't get nhs funding) 1st ivf consultation less than 3 weeks :) Gonna keep trying till then no harm u never no it might work worth a go :) And spice up our love life ur so right it's so hard with this baby trying sometimes the stress of that takes over and can lack excitement becomes more of a task that's so sad. This infertility can rob everything off u. I don't find many people understand just the impact this has. that's y I joined this site it is comforting talking to those who are also in the same predicament,Anyway sorry to moan. Waiting for my paperwork of all my previous investigations despite last test done in nov(hsg ) 7 months on they hadn't written up my notes makes me question wot the diagnosis on so gonna get my gp to go through it to make sure they didn't miss anything .sure they didn't

Katrina13 profile image
Katrina13 in reply to

I have been utterly distraught this week since learning my tubes need removing, but am now starting to feel a bit more positive about being able to go for a frozen transfer after.

I understand feeling heartbroken that IVF is your 'only' treatment, but its not a bad one after all, its definitely got a good chance!

I got to the point when I would cry during sex, just because I felt it was all so pointless, I found it really upsetting (he never knew that, I kept it to myself). I still find it tough but remind myself that sex is not about babies, it is about me and my hubby being together and being intimate: like we were in the beginning before we even talked babies and used to be at it like rabbits just cos it was nice!

You're right, no-one else knows the impact it has, it turns everything upside down - I even feel like I don't have an identity anymore, and am not a real woman. I am not a mother, I am not a career woman (as that has slipped in the last 2 years due to the TTC mess), so what am I? I also find that people focus so much on the 'baby' thing, i.e. that I want a baby and don't have one: they fail to understand that for me it represents the rest of my life - school runs, teenage tantrums, watching them grow up, becoming a gran, having a family around me when I am old... so so much. I know that if I am not successful I need to spend a lot of time working out what the rest of my life is going to be, how I am going to be fulfilled and what my place in the world will be. I am not ready to go through that process yet, but I know that I CAN if I need to, and I will come out of it with a clear picture of how I can make the most of my life.

We will get there one way or another. Any by THERE I mean a happy place. With or without children.

XX

WeeMrsH profile image
WeeMrsH in reply toKatrina13

Maccerpops- everything you have said in this post I feel like you have stepped inside my body and my life- this is totally me! I too have secretly cried during sex, either because it feels so pointless or because my husband and I have fallen out at having to 'get it on' when we don't feel like or because I've been so so tired with work and other things- and have cried at the sadness of the situation. You do feel like the infertility defines you- as you said you have no kids so you're not a mum, you can't relate to your friends, work is an inconvenience at times and career put on back burner because you don't have the energy to invest yourself, and you go through the motions of trying to live a full and complete life inspite of things but nothing you ever feels like it would (or how you think it would) if you had kids- how I describe it is like my spark has gone, this thing hangs over me in every aspect of life.

You are right in what you say- we will all get 'there' - we just have to find an alternative happy place if 'there' happens to not include our own children. Best of luck to you hon xx

in reply toKatrina13

I totally get where ur coming from. It does affect ur confidence and ur self esteem. It's very cruel to deny a woman a chance of being a mummy. Usually it's the sort of woman like u that would make great mums are the ones who struggle. It's shit. I don't blame u taking some time out sometimes that really helps clear ur head out. I know it always hangs over u I really get it I wish I could just press a button and switch off from the whole thing

We took some time out trying was getting so stressful I just couldn't keep going I wanted to be emotionally stronger before starting any treatment. We had 2 months off we ate wot we wanted we drank wot we liked lol and just enjoyed spending time together as a couple it made such a difference not stressing of trying :) Go at a pace that suits u both :) time out can be very beneficial. Just as important as planing ur next treatment or investigations.

I am lucky I am a mum already I had my son at 17 I am very grateful Ito have him but I still yearn for a baby with my hubby. He's not a dad and I know how much becoming a father would mean to him . So many ways I feel so bad that I haven't produced a child for him. Started trying again(consultant advised us to try till nov then review the situation and go for ivf in the new year-I thought ur not the one who feels that pain each month when the period arrives-besides which I'm turning 33 this year which

dosent seem that' old- but and it is a big but-because I cannot afford ivf I am looking into egg sharing and I have until I'm 34 to be accepted-and cos it might not work first time I have to be prepared I need to have enough time to recover emotionally and physically -I must allow as much time as possible plus it could take a while to get going) I really love the idea that I could help another achieve her dreams of being a mummy maybe I am meant to help a woman achieve het baby if like to think so. know the pain of this situation y wouldn't I help another woman going through and worse than wot I'm going through. I hope in the bottom of my heart that the ivf is successful for us both :)

And hunni we will get through this one way or another hopefully with babies :) And we will be strong woman at the end of it all it's certainly tests our strength and commitment.

If u ever need someone to talk to more than welcome to pm anytime .otherwise all the best sweetie X x x

Louiemac73 profile image
Louiemac73

Well, I saw this too and thought it might be interesting BUT I went to a support group and the Head Honcho Gynae man told us that when a man ejaculates the sperm needed to fertilise an egg are in the first drops of semen which get forced out at 200mph (or something like that) and so there is no need to collect all the "wastage". If anything, he suggested that you shouldn't try to keep it all in place (legs in the air etc) but rather, let it run out! I'm inclined to believe him. He also said best way for baby making sex is getting your OH anxious and going for it. E.g Tell him you're wearing no underwear and you'll be doing the deed before you leave your Mum's house whilst your there for Sunday dinner! Sounds fun anyway!

Katrina13 profile image
Katrina13 in reply toLouiemac73

I've been trying to think of how to perk up our practically non-existent sex life, and you've motivated me right there! I might take him to the back row of the cinema tonight heheheh...

Louiemac73 profile image
Louiemac73 in reply toKatrina13

Haha, enjoy! You're braver than me x

WeeMrsH profile image
WeeMrsH

Louiemac73- I heard very similar advice from a video I watched the other week - some fella at the Newcastle fertility centre I think? Wonder if was the same man as sounds almost identical. My husband was delighed to learn that quickies are rated!

Katrina13 profile image
Katrina13 in reply toWeeMrsH

Its not always so easy though.. we had six months of trying naturally after my first tube op, and my hubby actually found the pressure quite difficult to deal with, there were certainly no 'quickies' if you know what I mean..

Louiemac73 profile image
Louiemac73 in reply toWeeMrsH

Maybe it is; it was Prof. Charles Kingsland....... I'm happy about the quickie thing too - it all gets a bit traumatic after a while so get it sorted and stop thinking about it is good for me at the mo!

This is y I love this forum gives me great accurate advice :) thank u ladies for ur responses and kind advice much appreciated :) baby dust to u all X x x

Katrina13 profile image
Katrina13 in reply to

I had 6 months after my tube op to try naturally.. I just really wish now that we had tried harder, but life got in the way too often or we were tired etc, and out of those 6 months there were probably only 1-2 that we really were at it solidly for the correct 4-5 days.. I wish I had put other things aside and made sure I was home more often (I travel a lot with work).

My advice? Its not easy but you need to find the balance between not putting too much pressure on yourself and making sure you are having enough 'quality time'. I found the clearblue fertility monitor was a help in knowing 'when', but it did increase the pressure. For my hubby it seemed better that I didn't tell him when we needed to do it specifically, just told him I was feeling really frisky so must be ovulating, and to crack on!

poochi profile image
poochi

Hi sorry for chirping in on an old post. I tried softcups for a while which work in a similar way & cost just a few pound from boots. We've since discovered hubby has bad sperm issues so we're now both taking fertilaid supplements. I'm taking fertilaid for women, ovaboost & fertileCM wgile hubby is taking fertilaid for men & mobilityboost. They are a bit expensive but the reviews are amazing. Thought i'd let you know incase they interested you. Best of luck Andrea x

Hi Andrea thank you for that info that's really kind of you :)

First of all I'm really sorry to hear that your hubby has sperm issues that's tough .. Know how he feels..recently I discovered I have got fertlity issues myself...since writing this post...after being diagnosed with unexplained for 2 years...it took going private to discover my issues...I had a scan last week..to my horror I discovered that my left ovary less than half the size of my right and not surprising not producing many follicles..,also got my amh blood tests...my amh is low for my age 4.36...luckily my clinic want to see me as it looks like I can still egg share...I said to the nurse unless I can egg share I don't want the appointment still..as I would incur charges, .. Dr looked at results and said as follicle count was ok can still attend appointment on egg share program., that's on 6th august...in case that falls through I have contacted the ccg funding people for my area..and with these new findings..have the right to be re refered ..,and can have meds if I need em on the nhs..She was horrified scan was miss read..,

I think it's always good to have a few options available.,

This fertility thing is one big emotional roll a coaster ride.,,,

How are you doing sweet? If you need a chat I'm here.,

Best of luck to you too..

Jess

X x x

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