My husband won't stop smoking and having a beer at night. Will this affect our ivf.

[stellawaddingham]

Me and my husband both quit smoking last September for ivf but he only for three months and started again as the ivf was taking long time. He likes to have a beer every night and won't stop this. I am at the end of my tether with him but he seems to think it won't make a difference. Maybe his hearts not in it Anymore ? I don't know what to do ?? X

[Alc0503]

I know at our clinic we had to blow into a breathiliser thing to detect smoking and if it was above a certain number we wouldn't have been allowed to start because of it Goodluck hope he stops soon xxx

[stellawaddingham in reply to Alc0503]

We are with a private clinic and paying for it I've been told it's up to us but not recommended but he was told that ages ago and I think he just thinks it's me that needs to be healthy as he has previous children so being very cocky about it all .

[Mooster1]

Awww Hun don't know your relationship but this seems very selfish. Apparently smoking halfs the sperm count in men so he is lessening your chances in one way also. They also say limit alcohol too. It maybe you going through the actual medication and fertility treatments but your aim is having a baby together which takes commitment from both! I'm private too & my husband used to smoke. He's now given up bless him as he knows how much it will hurt me going through this process if it fails & we haven't given it our best shot. Don't know if your husband is willing to give up but mine downloaded an App on his iPhone "Alan Carr how to stop smoking" and it worked! Hope things work out for you Hun. Xx

[LRH001]

Hi, I am in the same boat. Just about to start our ICSI treatment on the 14th and my husband smokes. We are also going private. The way I look at it is with the ICSI, they will take the best sperm available so you do have a chance of this working. I think you yourself is the main focus for health etc. You may also need to consider the stress of him giving up smoking now as this will also not help his count either. It is a catch 22 I'm afraid. Can he try cutting down, electric cigarettes etc. I found chewing gum a massive help. In regards to drinking, this should be easy enough to stop, more so than cigarettes. Perhaps compromise and ask him to give up one or the other. Drink would be easier as most smokers enjoys smoking more after a drink. It is very difficult and is not good for you if this is stressing you out. Good luck

[stellawaddingham in reply to LRH001]

Thankyou I agree. I'm going to put that to him. I appreciate yr reply x

[jsth1979]

I agree with a lot of comments but I'm lucky in that neither me or hubby smokes/smoked. We did like a bottle of red though and we cut down a lot before treatment. I don't drink anymore (apart from one glass on birthday!) but hubby gave sperm sample on Wednesday when I did egg collection and it was fine despite him having the odd few drinks.

It does depend on individuals health prior to smoking/drinking too...

However... IVF is not something women go alone. It is a joint decision and commitment and I feel if one isn't taking it as seriously it needs to be addressed before baby comes along.

Keep taking instead of nagging. Get him to read the forum or speak to other people going through it.

Just because you are private and paying for treatment it shouldn't take away the importance of good health. That just seems a weird thing to me: we're paying therefore we can do what we want?!

You need to be happy and healthy too and if you're worrying about that you're not going to be in a good position when you start treatment. When do you start?? X

[stellawaddingham in reply to jsth1979]

Yes I think he thinks I am nagging. I started my stims last night so not long. I feel he doesn't tAke it seriously but then again think he just worried and doesn't know how to show feeling. Oh well I can only keep my fingers crossed. Thanks ladies x

[pumpkin1]

Hi Stella. We are private, having ICSI and I also started my stims last night. Unfortunately my other half smokes. He stopped in October but due to the stress of starting the ivf, started again. We have fallen out many times over it. I felt that as its me with the problem, he didn't need to change anything and because we are having ICSI it didn't matter. I'm not sure how many he smokes a day but I did notice he had a patch on the other day. So fingers crossed he has now stopped. He did say to me many times that the more I go on about smoking the more he will do it. My man stopped drinking when I started the injections to support me. Good luck with everything and I understand how frustrating it is when you just want everything to be perfect.

[stellawaddingham]

We in the same boat then. I do feel alone with it all. I'm also being an egg donor so have to be good for the other lady. I think I will stop moaning and let him live with the what if IDE stop smoking.....if all fails. I was begging to think no one would put up with this but I'm not the only one. Maybe it will make things worse if he stops anyway so I'm going to leave him to it just to reduce the arguments and stress levels. Thanks everyone x