Its game over.

[Katrina13]

I am 6 days post transfer of my 2 grade A blastocysts. My period has started and the clinic have confirmed that it is a failure this time. I am utterly, utterly distraught.

[MrsMarsh]

This wasnt the news I wanted to read today

Im so sorry Maccerpops it hasnt worked this time.

You have some frozen Embyos though havent you?

Its such a lottery... x x x

[Katrina13 in reply to MrsMarsh]

I do have some frozen but lower grades than the ones that they transferred. I have never felt so empty.

[MrsMarsh in reply to Katrina13]

At least you have got frozen Embryos, even though they are not grade A's they should still have a chance in getting your dream. You never know.. There are people on here that have got BFP from grade B and C Embryos. There are no words that can help you make your pain easier... Just try and stay positive x x

[Hidden]

Aww im so sorry to hear that.. thinking of you x

[Treacle]

I'm really sorry. I do know the pain of a failed cycle, you just have to take time out and do whatever you need to do to get through this time until it starts to feel a little less raw, I promise it will in time. Next steps can wait until you're ready xxx

[Katrina13 in reply to Treacle]

Thanks, I really can't handle the 'at least you can try again' that everyone seems to give me. People don't seem to realise you just can't think about that yet.

[Missmmc]

So sorry it didn't happen this time maccerpops I know how you are feeling as my cycle failed as well. Believe it or not it will get better and you will pick yourself up and prepare yourself for another cycle if that is your plan. When I finally got my negative all I wanted to do was throw myself into another cycle as I couldn't bare the thought of not doing something. But that was a few weeks ago and I am now feeling more positive and just going with the flow waiting to start my next cycle. So take care of yourself and good luck with whatever you choose to do next xx

[Magic80]

Hi maccerpops, I'm so so sorry. Is it definate as I've read stories where it looked like a period but were in fact pregnant. As mrs marsh said, lots of success stories with low grade embryos so don't lose hope xxx

[Katrina13 in reply to Magic80]

It's a full on period, the clinic told me it's a failure and I am testing negative. I have bled more or less ever since embryo transfer, they didn't stand a chance

[LHow81]

I'm so sorry maccerpops my thoughts are with you xx

[pswhiteside]

I am so sorry to hear this huni. Nobody understands the pain of infertility like others who are also going through it. My thoughts are with you xxx

[Katrina13 in reply to pswhiteside]

I just got the 'have you thought about adoption' from a family member. They just have absolutely no idea.

[pswhiteside in reply to Katrina13]

I once got told I was lucky I didn't have kids. Some people don't think things through x

[Katrina13 in reply to pswhiteside]

I know. I feel like I just want someone to acknowledge how I feel. When I lost my Mum many years ago, I was overwhelmed with condolence cards, and it was good to have that acknowledgement of my grief. With this, you get nothing. Just lots of "oh well"s and stupid advice. No one understands that this time last week I was stood in our spare little bedroom with my hand on my belly knowing my babies were in there, and now they are gone, just lost down the toilet.

[pswhiteside in reply to Katrina13]

I think most people just don't know what to say but want to be helpful so come out with things they think will help. I made a list of what not to say and passed it out to close friends x

[jenny34]

So so sorry to hear this. As above, nobody understands how painful this is, and no-one can say anything to make you feel better. Just know that our thoughts are with you. Sending loads of love xxxxxxxxx

[Katrina13]

I can't even think about real life. I don't want to eat, I can't even find the energy to have a shower.

[allicat]

Hi I know it all seems hopeless right now but you will come through this. I had 2 negatives last year and I don't know how I got through it as I was an absolute mess but I'm now looking to the future with another cycle of icsi planned for later this year. don't be to mad with your family and friends they don't understand (who can unless they've been through it) and they are only trying to help. sending you a big hug xxx

[leigh1985]

I'm so sorry to hear it didn't work for you I know How you feel as mine was a failure to. Iv had 3 miscarriages and found this much harder to get over all the years of trying and the months of medication and everyone being so positive and then it fails is heartbreaking and I couldn't bear listening to people say 'at least you've got frozen one's' I couldn't think about that I needed to get over this first. It's been about 2 weeks since our negative test and iv done my best to just enjoy being normal again while iv got these few months with no medication and no ivf. You'll get there to hun just take it easy and give yourself time to grieve. Good luck with everything xxx

[Hidden]

Hi Hun, I just wanted you to know that we are all here for you and understand completely. I failed my first ivf cycle last week and I'm still bleeding from it. The day I found out I was distraught, I couldn't stop crying. I just felt like a failure. My twins were down the toilet as you say. When you see them going in on the transfer monitor they feel real. Luckily I have the best boyfriend in the world and he has been great, crying with me and then keeping my spirits up. Believe me, it will feel less painful in few days time. A week on and I'm ok, getting back to my normal routine really helped me. Sending you a huge hug and my love

[Hidden]

I am really really sorry. I do know the feeling also like many other replies you have got. I saw your post the other day and truly hoped it was not your period. No words really can help you at the moment but I promise you , you will get through this in time . Xx

[Katrina13]

Thanks so so much everyone for your comments. It really has been a huge help being able to vent on here and feel understood.

Last night we threw the rule book out of the window, went out and I had a curry and two halves of lager!! I figured that if there is by some miracle something still in there, this stress is causing it more harm than a cheeky beer. We ate, drank, laughed, flicked rice at each other, giggled, held hands and were just 'together'. I still feel very very emotional today but a lot more in control.

This morning I have to go to the hospital for a biopsy on a lump in my breast, just to add to the fun.

[jsth1979]

Maccerpops... You do absolutely right going out and doing normal things together. This whole process is such a strain on you, your relationship, your body, on real life that you lose perspective. A curry and a beer was probably the best thing to do: we always turn to food and a glass of wine as our sanctuary.

Me and my husband have just spent a couple of days away from home to be together with the dog. Out walking in the day, lazy mornings and early nights... I've had a few drinks and eaten lots of delicious food and I feel great for it.

I am about to embark on my first IVF cycle but have been on this forum for a few months reading learning, empathising and feeling overwhelmed on other peoples' behalf. It's giving me a realistic take on the IVF as people will only tell you the positives and not really know how to talk about the negatives.

While we were away I've had cramps and heavy bleeding when I am in the middle of a cycle and have had no medication to stimulate or dampen down. I'm convinced I've miscarried but apart from my husband who witnessed this I don't really talk to anyone else...

Sometimes you can come on here and just vent and type and just know people are listening... And they understand...

Much love x