40% chance

So, 4 weeks ago I had a laparotomy for removal of endometriosis, and tubal repair.

Apparently now I have a 40% chance to get pregnant. Take away from that the 10% chance of ectopic, then 50% chance of miscarriage, and I am left with an 18% chance of having a baby.

I am utterly distraught. I know I should be happy that this is an improvement on 0%, but as I see it, I have an 80+% chance of never being a Mum, never sharing my life with children, teenagers and watching them become adults. Never having the pleasure of playing with grandchildren. I see a horrible future without a family, and I don't want it.

4 Replies

  • I think we all understand what you are going through it is a cycle of grief in the beginning its the small things you think about that others may take for granted. I had an ectopic in 2004 and one of my tubes were removed, i have recently been for surgery to see if my other tube is ok but it is too badly scared and blocked. I was told that the only way for me to conceive was IVF and I have just been rejected on the basis that my partner has fathered a child with his ex partner.

    My feelings are that my only chance of being a mother carrying a child etc have been decided by someone else. My right as a woman and a human being have been taken away from me i am still processing.

    I don't want you to give up! and if and when you get pregnant we are all here to share in your joy.

    I know its hard to stay positive as we tend to think and feel worst case scenarios but just try and we are all here to talk to if you need to chat.


  • Sorry to hear your news. Rightly so you are devastated and certainly feeling the down side of everything which is so natural when it's such a terrible thing.

    Is the 40% chance with IVF or natural? Either way, it seems quite a good percentage to me, but I don't think we should get hung up on percentages, in reality they never mean that much.

    We just have to keep trying ladies, you clearly want a child for the right reasons, not just because it's the 'norm', so if you believe in what you want, it will happen. It may be a long painful journey but it will happen! I have read so many stories over the last few years and women really do get there. It think the hardest thing is not knowing, no one ever knows when or how it will happen but I believe it will in one way or another.

    Sorry if I'm not much help but I totally feel the same as you so had to write something.

    Sending you both lots of love and luck



  • really sorry to hear your news and feel for you. It makes you feel so desperate and 'not a real women' doesn't it. Your allowed to feel like that, it's grief whihc you have to go throuhg, but once you feel more positive you can take hope from the fact tgat 40% is pretty good odds, or even, 18% means it can happen.

    I've about 1% naturally and 10% with natural IVF. We're going to try once just so we know we've tried, but it's taken a long while to get to here and feel more positive

    Sending you big hugs and know your not alone


  • Think positive. It will happen to you. Don't give up and never loose hope. Everything is possible if you believe.

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