When to tell?!

i am only 5 weeks pregnant awaiting ny viability scan.

we never told anyone we were trying, and my parents are coming on Saturday. I am extremely tired due to the pregnancy symptoms so they will know something isn't right - and I am VERY bloated already.

i usually cater to them a lot when they come and visit, but need to take it easy due to the early pregnancy.....

I am just thinking about telling them,but nervous it is the wrong idea before my scan at my age (42 )

we have decided not to tell friends and extended family until after 20 weeks.

my mum can be quite anxious so that was also a concern that we wouldn't have any privacy if I tell her.....

anyone share any experiences?

i can't make a decision.....

[CJohns]

Could you tell a little white lie and say you’ve been anxious at work and been experiencing some IBS symptoms, or perhaps you think you might have some intolerances to foods that the docs are investigating? It’s hard telling white lies, but they will understand once you finally tell them xx

[Hidden in reply to CJohns]

Yes this is an option.....thanks for the idea x

[ClaireB24]

I had a similar situation with my parents recently. We were spending a few days with them and I knew as soon as I said no to a big glass of wine my mum would know! So I opted to just tell them. My mum is also a worrier so I didn’t want to add to her stress, but actually she was really supportive and felt relieved for us. Overall it definitely made life easier having them know what’s going on. But it’s of course a really individual choice, and you need to do what’s going to best of you. Good luck whatever you decide!x

[Hidden in reply to ClaireB24]

Yes! This too - my mum and dad know I would have a glass of wine over the period they are staying...hmmm such a tricky one x

[DianeArnold Partner]

Hi Eb. It will seem very drawn out if you tell people too early on. My feelings are to wait until you've had your 12/40 wks scan, then you have more to show and tell about. Your decision of course. Hope all continues as it should. Diane

[Hidden in reply to DianeArnold]

Hi Diane, that is very true. For our first we enjoyed the time before anyone else started asking us questions! x😆

[User20]

Hi Eb, we told our parents at 7 weeks (to be fair we did have our early scan already, so slightly later than you are now). One of the reasons why we decided to tell them early was that I wanted to have their support if anything would go wrong. I know I could somehow hide tge pregnancy but I couldnt hide it if anything would go wrong. We told friends and extended family after our 12 weeks scan.

Good luck with your pregnancy xx

[Hidden in reply to User20]

Thanks so much! Yes it is so so early....x

[Rain415]

Same as above, we told parents when we found out it was positive as had a miscarriage before and was good to have support if anything did go wrong then we wouldn't have to explain we were pregnant first. Whatever you decide it will go by quick although it feels slow. X

[Hidden in reply to Rain415]

Thanks so much! X

[HollyT7]

we told parents at 12 weeks and everyone else at 20 weeks because of the aniexty, with our second we told everyone at 12 weeks x

[Hidden in reply to HollyT7]

Thanks so much! Good to get this advice, seems to be what most people are saying x

[Nicpic78]

Hi there, we recently had the same thing and decided to tell our parents early for their support, and also because we couldn't really hide it as we had a family wedding coming up (no drinking when I usually love a couple of wines!) and also because I started showing early due to a large fibroid. Plus was extremely tired as well.

I think it just depends on the individual and if you feel that your parents can offer the support and positivity that's needed.

We experienced one loss in 2019 which was devastating, and also our beautiful rainbow baby last year, so mix of emotions when falling pregnant again - at age 43).

We had our 12 weeks scan last week and all was well thank goodness, it's such a scary time, so I really needed the support and my Mum is just brilliant. We have since told close friends only and will wait for the 20 weeks scan for everyone else.

It's all about you, don't get too caught up with others anxieties, you have enough of your own as a newly pregnant mama to be!

Good luck and hope your tiredness passes soon, mine did before the 12 weeks scan thank goodness! Xx

[Hidden in reply to Nicpic78]

Thanks so much for telling me your experience and sorry for your previous loss.

That's great all is going well at 12 weeks very exciting!

Xxx

[Nicpic78 in reply to Hidden]

That's ok, hope it helps. Just go with your gut. Good luck with your scan 💕

[MoonbeamMcSwine]

With my daughter, my immediate family were told after the 12 week scan, then only 2 friends (and work) knew about the pregnancy before she was born. That's pretty much the plan this time around too- will tell my parents next week if the 12 week scan is OK, but that's about it. It all feels far too good to be true, like it's been a bit too easy and at any point the bubble will burst, you know? How nice it must be to be able to relax and enjoy this bit! 😆

[Hidden in reply to MoonbeamMcSwine]

I know - I have friends that just chill in pregnancy and take for granted that a beautiful healthy baby will automatically pop out!

At my age I am so nervous.....I know anything can happen.

Xxx

[Positivechangeplease]

I told my mum early (after my viability scan) and only her - everyone else after 12 weeks but in your case I think it will make it easier to say before viability. Just say you’re not not telling anyone because there’s a chance it won’t go well and you’re being cautious but you had to tell them because you’re so unwell. They’ll understand and keep it to themselves.

[Hidden in reply to Positivechangeplease]

Thanks for this. Good advice xxx