Missed Miscarriage

[andre70348]

I have been trying to get pregnant for over 2.5 years & had been looking at IVF privately because we dont qualify for NHS funding. I fell pregnant naturally in july and was over the moon!! I recently had my 12week scan and found out I had a missed miscarriage at 9weeks and had no symptoms. Last week I had a surgical management, and trying to deal with it. My friends dont really understand, and so scared that we wont get pregnant again! I'm completely gutted, and even more so for my partner. I just want to be able to think ahead, but struggling.

[RhinoCat]

I’m in same boat as you and had my surgery on Monday . Just give yourself some space without the pressure . It’s very tough and only people on these walls truly understand it . I’ve had two cycles of private ivf as my nhs turn is taking forever to come. Give yourself some space then speak to your gp again. If you e a notion of ivf , I’d say crack in with it. You would only ever regret it if you didn’t do it. See what fits and sits well

With your heart when you’ve had time to heal . It’s not fair .

Love and hugs of complete understanding

🦏🐈

[andre70348 in reply to RhinoCat]

I'm so sorry to hear that!! Hope you're keeping well. I'm thankful for forums like this, my friends don't really understand and just ask when am I trying again!!

Weve decided to give ourselves the space of the rest of this year then will be looking at our ivf options again!!

Because agreed we would regret not trying!!

Sending love and thinking of you ❤

[stephben12]

Im so, so sorry to hear of your loss 💔 it is absolutely devastating! We had a MMC in 2017, same as you, went for 12w scan and was told no further than 7-8wks. I wanted the D&C but ended up having the miscarriage at home that week.

I know how hard it is and what you must be feeling. No one could do right or wrong, if they asked if I was okay I got upset & thought what a stupid question.. if they didn't ask i got upset and thought how inconsiderate they were for not checking. I felt betrayed by my own body for not knowing and making me feel how I did, also for not protecting the little bean 😣

Honestly the only thing to say right now is time heals. I still cry now and get myself upset, you're a mama without a baby and its just devastating 💔😩

We are currently waiting for the results of our first round of IVF, test day this week - I dont think it has worked though so I'm preparing for another loss tbh.

All I can say is take time to rest, spend time with your partner and pull them close, hug them harder! Dont be afraid to talk about it and do what you can in your own time. Be kind to yourself my lovely and wishing you all the luck in the world for future bubs 💖

[andre70348 in reply to stephben12]

Ahh I'm sorry for your loss! Its heartbreaking isnt it?! Because time has passed they have stopped asking, but also found out that 2 best friends are pregnant. One was a 'shock' and the other would have been 6 days apart from me. Its devastating, I want to be happy for them but I'm struggling!!

I really hope you get your positive that you deserve, I'll have everything crossed for you!! Sending love and baby dust xx

[stephben12 in reply to andre70348]

It really is hard. I've had 34 people I know, friends, work colleagues etc .. that have fallen pregnant and had a baby in the time we have been trying for one. I had a close friend have her baby a month before mine would have been born, I had a work friend be pregnant the whole time I would have been and I now have a friend that just had her baby on the day mine was due.

It is absolutely devastating and its difficult because you can only really cry about it behind closed doors 💔 it is easy to say your happy for them, but to actually be happy for them and not want to pull your own heart out, is two very different things.

But when it happens for us, and when we finally have a baby with us, it will be much more precious and we will want those people to be happy for us too! 🥰

We had a negative result - as I predicted. So now we are looking to transfer our only frozen one ASAP.

Time makes it easier, but it doesn't remove it.. be kind to yourself and make sure you and your partner stick close during all of this ❤❤

[andre70348 in reply to stephben12]

Wow, yeah alot of my close friends have had their second in the time we have been trying for our first.

And also have someone at work that would have been the same month and now I'm having to manage them which is very difficult. Yeah it's very much behind closed doors which is very difficult, I'm currently waiting for some counselling sessions and hoping itll help talking to someone impartial.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that, good luck with your frozen transfer!! 💗 xx