11 year old bedwetting: My 11-year-old daughter seems... - ERIC

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11 year old bedwetting

Catsanddogs1 profile image
23 Replies

My 11-year-old daughter seems to be fine during the day but bedwets most nights and never wakes up when she needs a wee. She wears pullups at night but these often leak. This is badly affecting her happiness and confidence and is becoming a big problem re. sleepovers, etc. Would be great to hear from anyone in a similar boat and/or who was but has found a solution.

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Catsanddogs1 profile image
Catsanddogs1
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23 Replies
Yaleamanda profile image
Yaleamanda

Firstly, constipation is the guilty culprit until proven otherwise. Secondly, have you been referred to a urologist to rule out any medical issues? Are you under your local continence team as they should be able to help you? Have they ever been dry at night? Have you tried a bed wetting alarm? There are lots of things you can do to help, ensure that she is drinking enough water during the day (speak to the school as this is a medical condition and they should support you), by ensuring she drinks enough you will be training the bladder to hold more liquid at night. Make sure she goes to the toilet twice before bed and that she empties fully, get her to count to 30, you will be surprised how much more wee comes out. Done restrict liquids before bed, it doesnt work, but make sure she is only drinking water, anything citrus based, milk, caffeine, chocolate are all irritants of the bladder.

Klee00 profile image
Klee00

Good morning, Sorry to hear this

My Son is the same he turns 11 next week and under the urologist. He has an over active bladder that contracts at just 30mls and can't hold more than 175ml. His bladder is also unable to fully empty itself. He doesn't wake up when needing a wee. We moved from pull ups a couple of years ago and he now wears Adult incontinence pants to hold more & also put a disposables under his sheet to protect his bed he also had a Terry's sheet under this and a plastic sheet. Unless you have a child bowel & Bladder service where you are where they can supply them. We don't have this service in my area so purchase pants from Aldi (Size M) he takes Desmomelt at bed time wears Oxybutyn patch on his leg and has a tablet to take in a morning however he struggles to swallow tablets. He has previously has botox to his bladder which made it worse we later found out his bladder doesn't fully empty which is why so he can't have more botox. He is also under the gastro severe constipation (ongoing since he was 3) takes 8-12 sachets of Laxido, 5 mls senna & 15mls sodium picosulphate for that. Over all its an awful situation for them especially as it impacts them attending or having sleep over they arent babies anymore and are conscious of being seen wearing these pants or leaking. My son has an end of year school trip and it's full of fun but because they're spending 3 nights away he won't attend encase any of his friends sees him wearing pull ups when he is asleep. Can't see an end to it every hosp appt is the same. He needs to work hard & Keep drinking plenty keep double voiding and he is also having pelvic floor training at the hospital 9 months in and no improvement we are doing everything they say and they're helping as much as they can were just not seeing the results. Seems like there's no quick fix and he is off to high school in a few months. Is your daughter under the urologist or Gastro?

yellowbeachhut profile image
yellowbeachhut in reply to Klee00

Have you spoken to the school about the trip away? My son went on a residential school trip in year 5. He wasn't dry at nights so the school made sure he was in a room with his closest friends. If he was wet in the night, he had a specific teacher that he could go to with his wet sheets and pjs (which he did before the others got up) and she would sort them out. They didn't make a big deal of it, and he had a really good time. It's really sad for them to miss out because of it, but I understand that some kids are more sensitive about it than others.

Klee00 profile image
Klee00 in reply to yellowbeachhut

Hi,Yes School are great and will accommodate him and give him his dignity but it's him himself at 11 he is worried about his friends seeing or finding out. He is a lads lad and at that age of nearly going to high school. He is embarrassed I really feel for him. X

Hjmilward profile image
Hjmilward

Sorry to hear the impact this is having on your daughter. How long has this been going on for? Have you seen your GP or been referred to a local bladder clinic? There are lots of things you can try including alarms and medication. Medication has really helped for my nearly 10 yr old - a combination of oxybutynin and desmomelts. I wasn’t such a fan of alarms, but they do work for some people. Sleepovers and school trips are no longer an issue. Try and get her to drink plenty of water in the day and limit drinks an hr before bed. Also make sure she goes to the toilet twice before bed - this really helps! Good luck with finding the right treatment for your daughter.

Phoenix78 profile image
Phoenix78

Morning, yes very similar situation with my son. My friends daughter also. Everything tried. We’ve been told it will just take time. No apparent reason :(

profyaffle profile image
profyaffle

We have just managed to get my almost 12 year old DS dry at night. We dealt with it over the Christmas break. He has an irritable bladder and is on long term medication to manage his day-time wetting.

Things that I think have made a difference include: drinking more and more regularly in the day (he has a vibrating watch to remind him to drink hourly, otherwise he doesn't bother), and starting secondary school has helped him genuinely mature enough to really want to fix it (he would say he wanted to stop but I think he was scared to actually try before).

Desomelts and wetting alarms etc are also worth a go, but didn't work for us.

When did you last try her without pull ups? We hadn't properly tried for years because we were trying to get a grip on day time wetting but my son would sometimes acknowledge that he was sort of half awake when peeing in the pull ups which made us give it another go. We went cold turkey - he wet the bed first night, just wet his pyjamas on night two and was fine by night three.

He still can't go the whole night without a pee though, his bladder capacity is too small, but we have a big bucket by his bed to avoid disturbing him too much and he pees in there.

And as others have said, if you're not already under a continence service then do get her referred asap so they can check her bladder function, voiding, constipation etc.

Good luck!

profyaffle profile image
profyaffle

Oh and yes to double voiding before bed, and no drinks an hour and a half before lights out!!

MrsSquirrel profile image
MrsSquirrel

Klee00 Have you tried tablet in a big spoon of yoghurt? I hate taking tablets and this helps for me and my son - he's age 12 and on bladder meds too. We are in the same situation - day time wetting, low bladder capacity and night wetting. Every so often we try without the pull ups with varied success. We also have a pot near the bed so he can go quickly in the night if he wakes up. He hated the alarms. Certainly ask GP to refer you to continence team and urology consultant. We have seen slow improvements over time (he has always had this and goes between 8 and 20 x a day). For us the consultant wanted to sort day time wetting before he tackled nights.

MrsSquirrel profile image
MrsSquirrel

Catsanddogs1 sorry Klee - most of that message was for Catsanddogs. Yes to plenty of liquid in the day. We use elderflower cordial to make drinking a bit nicer and no one has ever said dont have milk so he has that too at breakfast.

Klee00 profile image
Klee00 in reply to MrsSquirrel

Thanks for that idea, tried everything yoghurt, mouse,ice cream even inside sweet corn, weetabix as one of the tabs that nees to be had to empty the bladder cant be crushed.

He is under urology, gastro, play specialst over fear of hospital needles procedures and taking tabs and just been ref to the urology psychologist. He is also having bio feedback

MrsSquirrel profile image
MrsSquirrel in reply to Klee00

I thought you must have tried things like that...hope you get some answers and some help x

Klee00 profile image
Klee00 in reply to MrsSquirrel

It's just awful he hates it from waking to bed time it's meds currently on 16 doses a day he takes 8 sachets in school alone & he hates it as much as school are trying he is resisting & being difficult therefore school said they have tried a best they can to encourage him but its taking time away from his learning &other children's that they need to focus on that. He gags of it all now he gets down with it it's been years of taking all this & no improvement &he just wants to be like his friends. I've had to reduce my hrs at work as I have to go into school either to get him to take his meds when he wont have them or if he has had an accident& have multiple appts with him throughout the week I just dont see an end to it or improvement

I'm regards to Milk he used to have a glass before school I thought to line his stomach as not a big eater in morning. Was told to replace this with water or cordial because milk doesn't hydrate x

MrsSquirrel profile image
MrsSquirrel in reply to Klee00

Wow, who said milk doesn't hydrate? Its 99% H2O!!

MrsSquirrel profile image
MrsSquirrel in reply to MrsSquirrel

In 6 years of continence nurse service/urology consultant appts they have never mentioned milk. Blackcurrant, tea, coke even hot choc etc yes but milk is a weird one. Ours sometimes drinks oat/soya milk. Have to be careful they get good calcium from some source or other.

Klee00 profile image
Klee00 in reply to MrsSquirrel

The Enuresis Nurse told us some years back. He does like a glass of milk so I do make him drink am extra equivalent of water

Catsanddogs1 profile image
Catsanddogs1

Thanks so much for all your replies and ideas. We saw a consultant a few years ago, but he just said she needs to drink more during the day before anything else is worth doing. Problem is she barely drinks when at school, partly due to OCD issues. We have a meeting with the school shortly to discuss this again , but not sure is just a question of teacher standing with her and making sure she drinks. Will ask GP for another referral - perhaps to a specialist nurse if there is one. With other issues we've found consultants may know the theory but aren't so good at practical help, whereas specialist nurses have been.

Klee00 profile image
Klee00 in reply to Catsanddogs1

Has she been ref to the enuresis clinic? They'll work with school and she should then get her own community nurse then checking in & giving advice to you & to ask teacher & Senco thats what we had before he was referred to children's hospital.

In regards to drinking in school time our nurse created something as simple as drawing with a sharpie 3 lines going up a quarter of the way with a sad face then half the way with a face with just a line and then 3 quarters of the way was a big smiley face and sons incentive was to drink to the 1st line for morning break middle for lunch and 3rd lines for afternoon then finish bottle by end of the day for a sticker and as he got older it was for time on the ipad or lego play. Doesn't work as well for me now as he has 750ml with laxido and 1ltr of water to go through so spend most of my time focusing on his Laxido intake rather than the water but he only drinks water now which is good because he is cautious that I spike all of his flavoured drinks with Laxido. The pro of that being nothing in water to irritate his bladder.

😊

MrsSquirrel profile image
MrsSquirrel

Yes good to have continence nurses on your team as school have to take them seriously, and their advice! No one should have to go into school to help with accidents (parent) it is unreasonable and not legal for them to do this. ERIC helpline can advise. We drew up an Individual Healthcare Plan with school in conjunction with the nurses which outlined who does what and when so that care needs are met by school.

DeeOwen profile image
DeeOwen

Hi there.

My son has always been an incredibly deep sleeper and was almost 10 before we got him dry. In terms of liquid intake both my children drank pretty much the same but our daughter, who is 2 years younger, was dry long before she hit 4. If your daughter is wetting pretty much every night then constipation is unlikely. In the end we combined 2 things.

We had tried alarms in the past that clip onto the underwear but it was a total flop so eventually we got a dry-bed alarm system by Astric Medical. If we still had ours you could have had it but it's worthwhile having a scout around to save you some pennies as they can be a bit pricey.

The second thing I came across by pure accident. There is a book Stop Bedwetting in 7 Days, by an amazing lady called Alicia Eaton who specialises in child mental wellbeing. It goes through a plan of what oyu have to do each night over the initial 7 days and how to go on from there. If you have a kindle you can download the book for about £6 and there is a recording you download to go with it that you play to them each night before they go to sleep. It's worth checking it out

Honestly, within the first week he had his first dry night ever and I've never seen him so chuffed with himself the morning he woke up dry. With the odd accident over a month or so, he was completely dry by 6 weeks and not a thing since.

Might not work for you guys but thought it worth sharing what helped us.

Phoenix78 profile image
Phoenix78

Hi can't offer any advice unfortunately but can very much relate. our almost 10 year old son has always been wet at night - all tests say all is fine, meds not made a difference - just been told he will grow out of it but he is becoming more and more self conscious and his wet mornings start his angry or sad days :(

Catsanddogs1 profile image
Catsanddogs1

Sorry to hear that. It does get them down doesn't it, and not surprisingly. Once you've investigated possible issues, as it sounds like you have, I guess all we can do is try to comfort our kids and reassure them (and ourselves) that it will sort of itself out before too long and this will soon become an old memory. Hang in there :)

Donny444 profile image
Donny444

youth size tape on briefs or pin on cloth diapers with plastic pants

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