3 year old having accidents

[Kayduds]

Hi all, this is a difficult one as I'm not sure what could be causing it but basically my 3 year old son has been potty trained since he just turned 2! However hes never really grasped pooping! He will mostly pop in his pants, never constipated and never loose so I dont think its constipation! However we are at our wits end with it! He has been referred but they think it may just be immaturity although hes been in pants for 18months now! He will have times where he will go to the toilet but it doesnt last longer than a week or two usually! He never seems upset about accidents and will just laugh about it even if we are cross! It's also holding him back in school as they have cut his hours back! Any advice please??

[MrsKS30]

Lots of praise when he does go in the toilet. Try and stay relaxed around the accidents - if he laughs when you get cross then he seems to enjoy that negative attention. If you don’t react much, he may get bored and as he matures will start to use the toilet more often. Good luck.

[Kayduds in reply to MrsKS30]

Thank you for replying 😊 yeah it does seem that way, although I feel we have tried all ways, so it may be a case of persevering with it and hope he grows out of it.

[MrsKS30 in reply to Kayduds]

I’m sure you have & hope things improve. My daughter turned 4 in November and things have much improved since then - she says ‘are you proud of me?’ before I get to say well done- the praise thing really kicked in for her, it’s been a long road and we will still have set backs but the difference a year has made is incredible,maturity wise and even in understanding the physical feelings of a poo coming. I wasn’t always patient either, I’m far from perfect but we are finally getting somewhere, the last few weeks!!

[Kayduds in reply to MrsKS30]

That's great news! I look forward to that feeling! It is hard not to be cross when it seems there is no end. Many times I feel it will never end! He seems so happy when he gets praised, but if he has an accident shrugs and laughs! So I'm trying to stay cool! It's good to know I'm not alone though so thank you 😊 he turns 4 in August

[MrsKS30 in reply to Kayduds]

Oh I know the feeling of thinking you’re alone, thank goodness for sites like this!There were days when I was changing her pants every hour. Plus the feeling that it will never end too - it’s quite overwhelming at times. I’m not sure if you use a potty or toilet but I had put the potty away and brought it out again, she’s much more relaxed on it. Only in the last week or so, she says she wants to use the toilet as she’s a big girl now. She uses the toilet in her school and nanny’s house etc. so potty is just at home -my daughter had constipation issues though and so had fear around the toilet - the potty helped her.

6 months at that age is a lot, before he turns 4, best of luck!

[Kayduds in reply to MrsKS30]

Potty sounds a good idea, he uses the toilet! Hes never been constipated or had loose (so would probably rule out overflow) so I do think hes just immature for his age! Youngest of 3 boys! Hes been in pants for a year and a half, and it is quite stressful as the school will call us a few times a week to change him and we both work full-time. I know things will get better it's just the between that's so difficult! Thank you so much I feel so much better about it and will just keep the praise up and try and use the potty.

[MrsKS30 in reply to Kayduds]

Oh that’s tricky getting to the school, I can understand how it would be stressful. Exactly, it will pass but the journey to that point is difficult as you say. My other daughter had no issues at all with toilet training so this all came as a shock - so many trial and error days with medication & crossing my fingers that the good days would last. Glad you are feeling a bit better and hope it goes well!

[Atz2505]

Do you have a regular toilet time schedule in place? How many times does he go per day/week?

What is the consistency like?

[Kayduds in reply to Atz2505]

Hey, thank you replying, he usually goes once- twice a day sometimes every other day! Depends what and how much he eats really! We do try and get him on toilet every morning before school and also after meals! Consistency is usually soft! Hes never had constipation so wouldn't of thought overflow? We are on day 9 of no accidents 🤞 hes never gone more than 2 weeks without a relapse so I'm taking it day by day at the moment