Overactive bladders

[Helen36]

Hi all - my five year old has an overactive bladder which we think is down to a large bowel pressing on it, caused by constipation when she was younger. We’re managing it with oxybutynin, Movicol and senakot. We have drier spells and wetter spells depending on how things are going.

Anyway, I was chatting to my lovely hairdresser on Saturday and happened to mention our situation. Turns out she has an overactive bladder and has always had it. It was SO interesting talking to an adult about what it is like, and also heartbreaking. She said she basically feels like she needs a wee all the time and just leaks wee, on and off pretty much all day with no control. She does have urgency sensations too but will go and still feels like she needs to go afterwards and will still leak even when she’a just been. She said she often has absolutely no idea she is wet and certainly didn’t as a child.

Needless to say, growing up was really hard as the doctors were just telling her mum she was being naughty, but once she got to teen years they started to get some more understanding help. Her mum is still distraught about it, feels terrible for telling her off and had no one to talk to about it. It made me appreciate this forum even more.

I know it’s a horrible thought that this awful condition will be something our children still have as adults but I thought it was really helpful to hear her describe the physiological feelings of it. I know what she’s describing is exactly what I see when we’re having a bad time of it. The good news was that she did manage to get it under control in her twenties then had 2 kids and it’s been a case of managing it since then. She has good times and bad times but she is quite upbeat about it. X

[AliStan]

I have such mixed feelings reading this.....it's a positive story and fascinating to hear the adult view of it (given most of us struggle daily to try and interpret our child's point of view) but at the same time devastating to think that this may never be resolved. What stood out for me though was the point about never being able to feel if she was wet. That's the bit I really struggle with with my daughter, I just can't get my head round why she can't tell when all I need to do is walk in the room and often I can smell the problem! I'm now kicking myself for all the times I've told her that I know she'll have accidents, and that's medical and we're dealing with it, but there is no reason why she can't make sure that she checks when she thinks she may be wet. Thank you for sharing this.....as much as I didn't want to hear it, it has also sort of helped me get my head round it a bit more after a rough week!

What would we do without this forum.....Hugs to you all out there!

[Helen36]

Oh AliStan!! I know, I know!!! I sat in the car and cried after talking to her - just the mixture of guilt at all the times I have been not understanding about the wetness and the devastation that this can go on...

However, I gave myself a pep talk and a few threads to hang on to:

- we have got help so much earlier than she did and there are specialists out there that understand it better now

- her continued problems now are compounded by pelvic floor challenges that I think we can all probably relate to!

- for Ali and myself at least, we know our children’s issues are bowel related. This isn’t the case for my hairdresser, she actually thinks it could be hereditary from a few snippets of family history she has (although impossible to know as people didn’t talk about this 2 generations ago). I remain convinced if we can just win over the bowel, the bladder will follow. 🤞

[AliStan in reply to Helen36]

Good pep talk......thanks!

[Frustratedmum1]

Thank you for sharing