Anger issues?

[Robinia]

Hi, I’m just looking for some reassurance really 🙄

My son has terrible anger and mood swings which I think are all related to his bowel problems. I know he’s in great pain sometimes and I noticed when I did a disimpaction a couple of weeks ago, once he was on 12 sachets for 2/3 days the swearing stopped and he seemed so much calmer.

He’s complicated because he’s also recovering from gastritis and gets terrible trapped wind.

I’m just looking for others who recognise the anger, 🤬 swearing and variability of mood (like Jekyll and Hyde). Obvs I don’t want it to be happening to you but if it is, it would be comforting to know we are not the only ones!

He’s started seeing a hospital psychologist for the pain he’s in but he was pretty stressed in the last session and finds it really hard to talk about the pain. Don’t know how much it’s going to help but I really want it to.

One day I know things will be better but sometimes i just feel so sad for him and all of us 😔

[Poppymum]

My daughter has overactive bladder. She wets several times daily. She often suddenly gets angry when it’s happened. Some days walking home from school she’s happy one minute, suddenly stops and her face screws up, she leaks and then she goes mad often refusing to walk and it’s really hard to get home from that point.

When I went on an ERIC course they said often when children’s bladders and Bowels get sorted their behaviour calms so I do think there’s a link.

My husband is a head teacher at a special school for kids with emotional and behavioural issues and a prospective parent looked around whose son had bowel issues and she said his behaviour stemmed from that but everyone had assumed he soiled because of a behaviour ( the opposite way round). My husband believed her as he’s seen it in our daughter and we’ve seen professionals who have thought her wetting was behavioural. They seem to be taking it seriously now she’s 5 and a half and way past potty training.

[Robinia in reply to Poppymum]

Oh thank you so much for responding, it’s a real relief to know other people understand. It feels quite shameful when your child calls you extremely rude swear words in front of other people. It’s especially a relief to hear about the parent who said she felt the behaviour stemmed from the bowel rather than the other way round. That really fits with what I have experienced. Your poor daughter, must be hard for her. Give her a hug 🤗 from me x

[Frustratedmum1]

Hi ya. You are not the only one.

My son's behaviour got to the stage I was getting extremely worried and I didn't know what to do.

He was getting very angry and aggressive. Little things were a big deal where he was getting very emotional.

Some days when I had to carry him to the toilet my legs where having a bit of a bashing. He would normally not be like this. As soon as we managed to get a large porption of the blockage moved it was like a switch. The problem we found with our son he has now got a high pain threshold.

I use his behaviour now to identify if he is blocking up. So for example if little things start becoming a very big deal then I look at increasing his medication. I find this starts to occur before a loss of appetite.

The problem you have got is how to deal with them. If it is due to constipation you have to be more patient and try not to discipline in the same manor as normal behaviour. I found if I reacted to the behaviour he then fed of my anger and frustration and it got worse. I used to say let's count to 10 out loud, just to try and diffuse the situation and help me keep calm. My son would start to laugh and it got better for a period of time.

I say to people constipation is one thing but the behaviour that comes with it I still cant believe.

Sorry for the long reply but it is nice to know it is just not us. Let me know how you get on.

[Robinia in reply to Frustratedmum1]

Thanks, great to read your reply. I totally agree with everything you say, I find sometimes he just needs a hug and some reassurance and recognition of how much pain he’s in. He’s on maximum maintenance dose of movicol (4 sachets) so I cant up it more than to 5 now and again but I’ve got him to drink lots more which is helping to keep things moving and he uses a gym ball to release trapped wind. It causes him great pain but it’s better than being blown up like a balloon. I had taken him off gluten and dairy but the gastroenterologist said this would make it difficult to test for intolerances in the future so I’ve reintroduced them gradually but I noticed he’s bloated again 🙄. For us what he eats and how he reacts to it seems to make a big difference. Sounds like you’ve got s great way of dealing with it 😁

[Frustratedmum1 in reply to Robinia]

Thank you. May I ask how old your little one Is? My son is 5 and his maintenance dose was between 4 and 5. However I have now had to increase it to 6 because his peaditrian thought he may be having overflow. It is scary how much is coming out of his body again and funny enough we seem to be having less mess. He is still blowing up on little things but I can see why. Perhaps it would be worth to see if you can increase your maintenance dose may help with the behaviour.

[Robinia in reply to Frustratedmum1]

That’s really helpful thank you. He’s 9.5. The gastroenterologist has put him on a maintenance dose of 4 sachets and I’m not sure if it’s enough or not, I’m not sure enough is coming out and he does have so much pain. But the continence nurse said I can’t up it any more because 4 is the maximum maintenance dose. Shows they all vary! We have paediatrician appointment next week so I think I will discuss it with her and see what she says. I am trying some other new constipation supplements I ordered off amazon so hoping they will help. I’ve also contacted a hypnotherapist today and a reflexologist!! It’s such a balancing act with the movicol I find and the good thing about 4 sachets is he drinks it in a tall glass before bed so I don’t have to hassle him in the day to drink it. But if upping it would help then I would do it. We found a load of the oxypowder capsules (that are mega expensive) stashed in the ash bucket next to our fire tonight, so clearly he’s not been taking them all....argh!!!! He went through a phase of pouring his movicol away a while ago too....so frustrating when they don’t take the stuff that helps!!!!

[Hidden in reply to Robinia]

Did the hypnotherapist say they would put him under ? As we went to one but its just like make believe they do so young so was totally pointless !

We would love our son to be able to " go under !"

[Robinia in reply to Hidden]

That’s really interesting that you’ve tried it. He said for an adult it’s an hour apptmt but for a child it’s more like 25 mins. He didn’t say if he would put him under but I did say he’s quite suggestible so I’m expecting him to respond well. He really seemed to understand on the phone. Even better he doesn’t charge for under 10s! I will deffo post after and let you know how it goes 😁

[Hidden in reply to Robinia]

Yes please do post and say how it went thanks

[Frustratedmum1 in reply to Robinia]

Odd question has your son ever had any sensation? My son seems to get it sometimes when he is wet ie a 6 on the Bristol stool chart.

Don't know if this helps, but I'm about to try it and it sounds odd what about skins (sport layers) apparently when a child is constipated there is a pressure inside there bodies and their bodies are confused what is going on. The idea by using a base layer you are placing some external pressure onto their bodies so it may help them balance themselves out. It sounds weird but the person who explained to me made a lot of sense. Other things that may help Swimming because of the external pressure of the water, giving them a bath in deep water, ball pits, the rollers at soft play. I'm even getting the gym ball out. Don't know if this will help. But will let you know if i have any luck. Good luck with your appointment.

[Robinia in reply to Frustratedmum1]

Thank you for that, really helpful. I’m going to blow up our peanut gym ball and see if he wants to get rolling on that, he’s certainly rolling on his gym ball every day (it’s amazing what he gets up to with it) When I experiment with trying to take the nappies away in the summer I will try him with some base layer type shorts over his pad and pants, see if it helps his sensation. He says he has no feeling and the gastroenterologist said we have to wait for the messages to start up again between his brain and his rectum. But the continence nurse said the movicol dose is high so could be making “poo soup “ what a revolting thought! But means that his stool isn’t forming coz it’s too wet. Although I can’t drop the dose as then it gets stuck again. I would really like to try Senna again but he’s resistant coz of the pain of the gastritis he still experiences, he’s so scared of pain now, really sensitised to it. I’m hopeful maybe the Hypnotherapist can tackle the perception of pain and how it tenses him up and then he can feel more relaxed which will make his gut and bowel relax and move more naturally. The osteopath was really interesting because she said it’s his nervous system that’s kind of on high alert following all the pain, nausea, vomiting and hospital high enemas and by relaxing that, the bowel can then start to find its natural rhythm again. I love the fact there’s so much knowledge and experience on this forum, thank you to everyone who replies 😁🧡

[Knittingmama]

Definitely! We can always tell when our daughter hasn’t been as she’s just vile to be around. The minute she’s been she’s lovely again. She’s always denied any pain but I think it obviously affects her in ways she doesn’t understand!

[Robinia]

It’s good to know we are not the only ones 😁