New here looking for advice

[Zlee89]

Hi everyone. My concern is with my 4 year old daughter. Shes been toilet trained for almost a year now. She used to suffer with constipation so was prescribed Movicol daily. Since toilet training she hasnt needed the Movicol. Until recently. She started withholding her poo because sometimes it hurts when it comes out. This has lead to frequent poo ‘spillages’ throughout the day and today an actual whole poo in her knickers.

I must add she has alot of sensory issues and is query for autism. That being said, how do i deal with this?! Do i tell her off for the accident, reward toiletting, make her sit on the toilet everyday until she goes? Because we have tried all of these. And shes still having accidents. Do i put her back in pull-ups???

Any help/info would be great.

Sorry for the long post.

Zlee.

[Stressedmum2018]

In my case with my 4yo I did try pullups but in the end I had to go back to nappies.

[Chocolate-chicken]

We are in a slightly different situation but do have a 5 year old girl who is on movicol. We have been told that while she is still growing we may need to go back on movicol at points and to be aware of "warning signs" that it is backing up again.

As for how to react... I have no idea, I feel like I go through the entire spectrum of possible reactions on a daily basis. I am trying to just be neutral now. Not angry not anything. We have been told that even if she is withholding it may be subconscious (although it may not be). So I feel like I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Personally I wouldn't go back to pull ups or nappies as your possibly just delaying the inevitable.... you have to do what's best for you though ultimate. It's so hard..... Deep breaths. Xx

[Zlee89 in reply to Chocolate-chicken]

Thanks for your reply. I need to try being neutral- i get cross at her which i dont think really helps. I dont want to put her back in nappies- thats a last resort i think.

I may speak with her GP and see if she needs movicol again. Thanks.

Zlee.

[Stressedmum2018 in reply to Zlee89]

I can understand the reluctance to use nappies, I tried to avoid it but it got too much that I did put nappies on him again, I intend to keep them on him for a while longer then try the potty again

[Frustratedmum1]

Hi ya. Don't get cross with her because it makes things worse and talking from experience. Also try and put on a smile however hard it is because my son picks up when im feeling negative and it makes things worse.( I'm struggling with this)

Praise her when she to the toilet. If you struggle to get her to the toilet praise her for sitting on the toilet and start there. Sit her approximately 20 to 30 mins after meal times as this is the time they are most likely to do a poo. Apparently this needs to be done all the time. Put bubbles, toys or books in the toilet to make it fun.

We have gone back to pull ups as the accidents were all the time. It makes it easier for us to manage. Do what is right for you.

Good luck,hope something helps.

[Jfraser1]

Your right to go back to your gp. I wonder if she’s having accidents she might be constipated again? Also, the Movicol will prevent her from withholding and it might be worth using again for a few months to get over the physchological issue.

I’m sure the majority of us at some point have shouted/blamed/pleaded/cried at our kids! It’s hard and frustrating. I do believe that the best way to deal with it is very mater of fact as kids need their parents to stay calm and take control of the situation. Past experience of a negative attitude towards my sons accidents made them worse and made the toilet situation even more scary. So I shifted my attitude and started seeing it as a medical issue that he needs help and time to get ontop of.

[Robinia]

Get her back on the movicol straight away, start at a low dose like one sachet and increase it gradually until she’s on the right dose. Then keep her on it. Don’t try to take away the movicol, just keep her on a low dose long term. I agree with the others who’ve recommended neutral response, you can use here to have a rant sometimes if you need to....we all understand 🤣

[SallyCal]

Hello, I agree about seeing your GP and getting her back on the Movicol. My daughter withheld for 18mths which started from one constipation episodr but caused so much fear of the pain that she said she never wanted to poo ever again. She held it up to a week at a time which caused it to hurt each time so we were stuck in a vicious circle. I tried everything from toilet toys, reward charts and trying (& I mean trying) to get her to sit on the toilet 3 times a day but the only thing that helped was Movicol which she has been on for 3 months now and we are down to a daily maintenance dose. I am scared to take her off this small dose as she now goes everyday happily and our lives have changed. I got angry alot nd it never helped. Advice I got from a psychologist was to not talk poo all the time and I agree that see it as a medical issue and it will hopefully change how you feel. Also this forum was a life saver for me. I really hope thibgs improve for you soon. xx