4 year old holding onto pee I think : Hi. This is my... - ERIC

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4 year old holding onto pee I think

Mariemcdonald11 profile image
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Hi. This is my second post. My daughter will pee and ask to go to toilet with grans but not me. Thanks to tips from eric helpline I now have her sitting on toilet singing a song then getting a chocolate. She is dry for hours but I just can't get her to pee in toilet. I know its tiny steps but just wondered if anyone has any ideas/advice. Thanks

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Mariemcdonald11
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CN4321 profile image
CN4321

I’m afraid I don’t have any suggestions but I have seen your post with no replies and know that can be disheartening. It seems that if she can and will do it elsewhere but not with you then it could be possibly be behavioural - have you tried asking for help from the local health visiting team? Other thing to consider is that there is something she really doesn’t like about your toilet at home perhaps?

Sorry I didn’t have any more solid advice for you.

Mariemcdonald11 profile image
Mariemcdonald11 in reply to CN4321

Thanks for your reply. Its appreciated. Its the same toilet as the grans watch Chloe in my house so its not that. She seems embarrassed by the whole thing. My health visitor told me to go cold turkey but that simply didnt work. I am planning to go back to her for more advice. Thanks anyway. M x

Helen36 profile image
Helen36

hello - me again! First of all - AMAZING progress to get her sitting on the toilet, well done! Ah, the power of chocolate! Have you tried offering a second choc if she does a wee?

Secondly, (and I don't know why I didn't think of this before) but I have heard of something called 'shy bladder syndrome' that might be worth a google. My mum used to make me sit on the loo before a long journey (nothing wrong with that - standard mum behaviour!) but I just couldn't go when she did this, it was the pressure of it! it became a running joke in the family. Then when I was at school/uni/work, if I thought someone could hear me wee, I couldn't go, no matter how much I needed to. Especially if I didn't know them well. Then one day I heard a programme on radio four talking about people with shy bladder syndrome and it rang so true for me, I think i might have had a very mild form of it. I'm over it now (I never get any privacy to wee these days!). I just wonder if she has something like this and because she knows you really want her to go, she just can't. There might be something Gran is doing slightly differently that just makes her that bit more relaxed. x

Mariemcdonald11 profile image
Mariemcdonald11

Hi Helen. Thanks so much for your reply. I am going to watch her go to toilet with gran today to see just as you say if anything different. The shy bladder certainly worth googling. My main stumbling block is when I gently ask her why she won't go for me she totally switches off and won't talk about it. I have tried role play with her dolls but she doesn't entertain this either. Wish she wd talk to me. We r very close. Always wants hugs and a chatterbox about everyting else!

Helen36 profile image
Helen36

Hello - hope today produced something helpful. I had a bit of a google on shy bladder and I think it is really worth a look. The more I think about this the more I think maybe she is finding she physically can’t go for you and that is why she doesn’t want to talk about it.. she doesn’t understand it either. It doesn’t explain why she can go in other situations and it is important not to take it personally. If there is one thing I have learnt about bowel and bladders - reason and logic are of no help to anyone! There is a UK charity for shy bladders so maybe see if they have someone you can speak to to see how you explore if that is it. I also saw some tips on how to help go when you feel like you can’t that you could see if she wants to try. Sending you good luck xx

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