14 yr old bed wetting: Hi my son is 14 now and he has... - ERIC

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14 yr old bed wetting


Hi my son is 14 now and he has been bed wetting his whole life! I've tried the alarms the medicines, he's had a scan (which has shown debris in his bladder). But the urologist doesn't seem worried as he's emptying his bladder ok. He is on oxybutynin at 2 per day. And then 1 desmomelt before bed. I feel like I have tried everything going now! I've been reading some of the comments and I can't see anyone with children around this age who still continue to wet. Just looking for some support as I don't know anyone else who has a child with this problem.

35 Replies
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lau_lau8323 in reply to Hidden

We tried the alarm years ago and it frightened the life out of him. I think he is just such a deep sleeper. Where did you get this alarm from? He had his ultrasound in October, so he was 13 then. It was useful as they check all the liver and kidneys etc, so a relief to see they're working normally. It did show that before he emptied his bladder there was debris in it, but no one seems to know what it is from, as all urine results are clear. We're now under urologists at the hospital and have to go back in June for a review as he is on oxybutinin during the day. Sometimes he will still wet but they seem to work 80% of the time.

Hi -you are not alone. My son is 14 and has wet all his life. He's under a consultant ( only for the last 2 years) and has had several scans and we know he has a small bladder for his age. He is supposed to take capsules (which I can't remember the name of as I am on a train) and drink more to help stretch his bladder but he finding this difficult to do at school as he doesn't want to keep asking to leave class. He also takes a desmomelt 240 at night which works most of the time. He has to be sensible and not have any fizzy drinks and all the usual stuff they tell you. He is a very deep sleeper and nothing wakes him in the night (not even if he's soaking wet). Good luck.

Just to say Eric do pyjama pants that contain all the wee have a look. Good luck x

Oh brill. Thankyou. Not sure he will go for them tho. Are they like nappies?

No look on their website under me merchandise they are just like pyjama bottoms x

MiHe in reply to SallyandPaul

We didn't like them, I bought 2(!) and they are stiff, very hot and leaked at the top.

Oh what a shame such an expense but thanks for letting the rest of is know x

Just had a look they are a lot of money but they do adult sizes and pyjama shorts. They are about £60!! Xx

Oh wow really? That's a lot of money. Thanks for the info. I will check it out later. I spend so much money on mattress, pjs and bed sheets etc. Even left the plastic on the mattress this time round and the wee has corroded it all. There is no financial help we can get anywhere for any of this? Xx

I know it's a ridiculous amount. It's such a pain for you all don't know what else to say as my daughter has the constipation issues. I wonder if there are any other companies that do stuff like that? Good luck x

My son was given a toilet pass to be able to go whenever he needed to. He was wetting on way home from school and i found out that he had been holding it all day because the boys toilets are disgusting and kids wee all over the floor etc. So they have given him a pass to use the nurses toilet now. He takes desmomelt too but and finding that recently it is not working. Maybe he is becoming immune? He is same as your boy, he sleeps deeply and wetting will not wake him and some days even if I can smell it he doesn't realise he's wet!

I'm sorry to hear your child is still going through this into their teenage years. It's more common than you realise but people don't talk about it, that's all!

So thank goodness for this forum!

My son has daytime wetting and is on Vesicare/Solifenacin (previously tried oxybutinin and tolterodine with little or no change)

He has also had scans and wee'd in the special toilet to see if his flow is normal. Everything seems normal so for us parents it's still a mystery. Urology nurses have suggested a Urodynamics test which tests bladder function from the inside. We're waiting for that appointment to come through so maybe before your next appointment you contact the Urologists secretary t pass on a request for one of these tests? Sounds like it's a test they use as a last resort as it's quite intrusive!

Randomly I've cut out tomatoes/tomato based products as I read somewhere they can irritate the bladder as well as citrus fruits. The wet pants have marginally reduced so I'm like other parents will try anything!!

Good luck

My 10 yr old (11 in July) isn't dry at night and never has been. We saw specialist at hospital who told us not to try alarms til he was completely dry in the day. So we have not even tried them yet! He occasionally wets in the day but usually when he has been too engrossed with something (TV or Computer normally!) to recognise he needs a wee and go, not sure if he doesn't realise or if he being lazy! The daytime wetting is decreasing and rare these days though, so I'm about to try an alarm. He has school trip in Sept 2017 and would be fab if he was out of pullups by then. He went on a trip a year ago and the teachers were great and kept it very discreet and helped him with his nighttime/morning routine but it was stressful for him and I don't think he would want to go on school trip again if he has to go through it all again. (also will be at secondary school with teachers he has only just met!)

He is a very heavy sleeper and I'm wondering the best alarm to get. I've read about a wireless type that sounds appealing as the least intrusive for him the better I think. I have just read comments about one that you can record voices on - does it do normal alarm sounds as well? As they are pretty pricey I would like to think that the one I buy does the trick and I don't need to keep buying different types. I know everyone is different and I'm not expecting a magical formula but can people recommend ones to me? I think Malem are the best types ?? That's what the hospital told us anyway - can anyone give me some advice please? I would really appreciate it.

(Note he has tried desmopressin but it had no affect whatsover!)

Thanks in advance

I just happen to be reading up about different treatments for nocturnal enuresis on kidney.org Under Medications to treat bed wetting it mentions a drug called Imipramine. Have made a note of it in case Desmomelts don't work for my son. It may not be of any help but thought it worth mentioning. Xx

Hi did you try using the alarm with professional guidance/support?

In this site you can find lots of useful information


Yes and unfortunately it scares the life out of him. He's recently had flow tests and has been referred for an investigation of his bladder. So am just waiting for this appointment now.


Hi my son is 15, has asd, and additional needs. He wets the bed most nights. I'm just starting the referrals but it's hard as he is in denial. I totally understand where you're coming from. Maybe your son is going through the night now . As I know this post was put up nearly a year ago. X

lau_lau8323 in reply to Hidden

Hi. No unfortunately he is now 15 and still wetting. Some weeks he will have a dry week then others will wet all week or just a few days. He had the cystoscopy and nothing was found. He still takes medication. We go back to the consultant in April. Not sure what the next step will be though. 😏


It's such a pain for them. No nights away. Poor lads. I spend a fortune on mattresses. Waterproof sheets, ect. To be honest I was starting to feel a bit isolated. Then stumbled along Eric and , well it's a relief to know it's not an isolatedcase and several parents and teens are going thru this.

lau_lau8323 in reply to Hidden

Yeah me too. I was so stressed out about it. Not know long what they will do for him. I don’t get any help. No DLA as they don’t recognize it as a disability. And you know what it’s like having to pay out all the time for sheets, PJs etc. heating on to dry it in winter, washing machine on the go all the time. Bumps the bills up a fair bit.

halftime in reply to lau_lau8323

Hi. My only top tip on the bedding issue is to invest in a hospital/care home type rubber covered mattress (medical supplies websites - I can't think of the one I used off hand but it wasn't that much). It is 100% easier than dealing with plastic sheets that end up going crackly or riding up and the mattress getting wet anyway; I have found it cheaper overall in the end and way better for my sanity and more comfortable by far for my son. Just wipe clean of urine residue and ready for remake.

My son is 14 also and has (almost) never had a dry night that wasn't drug assisted. I'm intrigued about bladder debris with your son. What kind of debris? Originating from where/what ?

Hi. I’ve just read this message for the first time. He’s 15 now and been discharged from hospital as nothing more can be done for him there. He’s still wetting so have asked to be seen by the enurisis nurses again. They did mention the debris in his bladder could have been from a previous unknown infection of some sort. I will definitely look into this mattress you mention. Hope your son is doing better? Thanks.

Lau Lau, you may want to consider getting a sleep specialist to see him and do a sleep study on him. His problem may be because his sleep patterns are abnormal. I've read of one teen who had a similar problem and was actually unusually difficult compared to most teens to wake him up. The study showed that he was going through only 1 cycle of sleep rather than several (roughly 90 minute cycles) and going into deep sleep for most of the night. The study involves sleeping in the hospital hooked up to an EEG machine to monitor his brain wave patterns. There is absolutely no danger, or discomfort with this test.

Oh wow. I’ve never thought of looking into this before. Thanks for the advice.

Hi there’re I have a 13 year old son and he’s very rarely had a dry night he used to suffer in the days also but doesn’t anymore :) he is on desmomelts 2 a night and still wets! It seems when we take a break for a week or so from then and start again he will have a few random dry nights but bam right back too none again! We’ve tried alarms also and doesn’t even flinch just sleeps even if he has wet he doesn’t even notice ! Sometyms he will get up in the morning for school and not even notice he’s done it !! It’s so upsetting for him can’t sleep out finds it stressful going on camp wearing kinda pull ups or being woken up by a teacher every 45 mins , this also effects his daily life in school as his sleep is broken where I wake him to go to the loo and have been told to wake him properly so he knows he’s going to the toilet?? It’s costing a fortune and driving me and my poor lad insane it’s so upsetting for him ! If anyone had any tips or help I would be so grateful ....

Sounds exactly like my boy although he is on the highest dose of desmomelts so not sure if he can take 2 of those at a time. It is very costly woth bed pads, replacing mattresses and clothes and using more gas and electricity to get them washed and dried. My son also wakes not knowing he has wet. He is 16 in 4 weeks time! Have you heard of the “family fund” it is a charity that gives grants for things like tulles dryers etc if your child has a diagnosis. So if he has been diagnosed and you have the letter to prove they will help with paying for a water proof mattress which I got this year. DLA does not class enurisis as a disability which I think is a real shame as it has a massive impact on the child and family both financially and mentally. There is no cure which worry’s me as he enters adult hood. Good luck xx

Hi lau. I know your post is 2 years old, but I wondered how your son was getting on now.? My son is 15 and a half nearly, so similar age to your son now. Has your son's situation improved, or maybe resolved? I hope it has.

lau_lau8323 in reply to halftime

Hiya. It has definitely gotten better since age 15-16. Maybe down to puberty? Or sleeping less. He still wets but I would say it’s now probably around 2-3 times a month. I am just praying he stops before he becomes an adult.

Hi lau. Well that's really encouraging. Had it improved to this level when they discharged you from the hospital, or did they just cut you loose because they were out of ideas? After being discharged did you try anything again (I don't know - like alarms for example), or take any planned course of action. Sorry to quiz you.

Nope! They said nothing more can do and said go back to enurisis nurses! And they just tell you to go back to basics. Gave an alarm but it’s just vibrating and he sleeps so deep and moves so much it didn’t work for him. We have tried everything going. He has stopped his meds now for a bit and it does seem to have stayed the same which is good. Someone did mention to me about seeing a chiropractor to check his spine as nerves etc could play a part in it also. I’m going to see how he goes this year.

Hi Lau. I know it's 8 months since I quizzed you before. I wondered how your son was getting g on now. Did you try the chiropractor? Any use?

My son is 16 in 2 months and clinic discharged him (I won't go into it - that last conversation- it helps no-one - but as medical professionals that particular team should hang their heads in shame).

I hope, hope things are improving for your son.

Oh hiya. I have deleted the app so had no notification of this u til I had something come up in my email. We did have one go with the chiropractor it was very pricey at £45 per session so I can not afford this every too weeks. One session is obviously it enough we would need more. He is going to be 17 in December. He still wets, some weeks 2-3 times a week but not really more than that. I am thinking of going back to the doctor about it to maybe see about a Botox injections into the bladder. How is your son getting on now?

This is for all of you. One thing that I have heard of a number of times is that kids won't wear protection because having it on means that they are a baby. How does that figure, they are still peeing in their sleep? Give them the flip side of the coin. that choosing to wear protection at night is actually showing that they are being more mature about it. The other thing is that they need to be empowered. Certainly from the age of about 10 or 11 they should (with a lot of encouragement and coaching) be able to manage this themselves. That includes being able to put on their own protection whether it be Goodnites, or regular full blown diapers. This also means that they should be responsible to strip and make their beds if the bed is wet and if possible wash what's involved.There is so much emphasis on keeping it all secret. I have heard a few sad stories about someone finding out, but I've also heard a lot more stories of kids who either told a friend or two, or they found out at a sleep over where the outcome was really good. One of a boy scout group that found out that one of the boys had to wear Goodnites because he wet the bed. The next time they got together, all of the boys had Goodnites on at bedtime saying that if he had to wear them they all did. I've also heard a number of other stories about kids finding out and everything went fine, or even that there was at least one other bedwetter there. Another thing I will note, is that there were several cases with kids who wouldn't wear protection where when we talked about it (on the forum) they tried it and were much happier because the only things wet were the skin where the diapers were and the diaper. Regular diapers, AKA fitted briefs will almost always give you better protection that the pull ons. The pull ons tend to leak for kids sleeping on their sides. One of the most common problems I see is older kids trying to continue wearing Goodnites as long as they still fit. The thing about them is that they sacrifice some of their capacity for discreetness. When kids wet the bed, they usually wet several times a night. This is why Goodnites don't work after a certain point as the child puts out more urine as they grow (up to late teens). One of the other things you can do that may help is do what hospitals do. They put either a fabric or disposable pad on the bed and then a half sheet over that and tuck it in. The half sheet keeps the pad down so that it stays flat and in place on the bed. Goodnites also has a disposable bed pad with adhesive. If you want half sheets, you'll have to make them. Easy enough take 1 or 2 sheets, cut them in half width wise, and hem up the open sides. One other note is that if ATN diapers are not holding enough get booster pads to increase the capacity.

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