I’m struggling, I need some kind of support or advice just someone to hear me out and listen!
i am 8 months post operation, my pains aren’t easing if not pretty much the same as before but mentally I’ve hit a brick wall… the stress on my relationship by closing down but how or who would help me with this? Due to the pain I have during and after sex I’ve got a mentally block and can’t physical let myself enjoy or ever want to have it? Is this normal?! Will the doctors offer me anything for the pain let alone mental side?
long post ! Sorry and thank you
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Hi, this is not uncommon, it can be as frustrating for your partner as he does not want to hurt you and usually the worse pain is just as he is at climax. You could try different positions to minimise penetration or find pleasure in more oral forms. Have you looked into diet to ease your endo symptoms? A good nutritional therapist like Dian Shepperson who knows about endometriosis from first hand experience may help you understand your body and how to control your symptoms, see endometriosis.co.uk
I always take painkillers before sex. I always use plenty of lube. I try to have shallow penetrative sex near orgasm. It is important that you have a orgasm as this releases hormones. It is also possible that you maybe sensitive to his sperms and using a condom may help. Myself with several autoimmune responses to product can't use many drugs or products. I found this lube called LUBICO and prefer the one with added Aloe.
This awful disease that Endo is can ruin our lives in many ways. It can mess with our general health, fertility and mental health. Our hormones have a lot to answer for! It can make us feel un womanly, to blame for fertility issues, to blame for sad baby loss, and like we are going crazy at times. With all this it’s not surprising that we don’t feel like having sex, then add on that we know it’s going to hurt and for some it’s going to make us bleed and hey presto there’s the biggest turn off Mother Nature never even thought of! Then when you add the wonderful world of hormone treatments we receive, he fake menopause inducing drugs etc OMG we feel fantastic, NOT!!!!! Breathe, give yourself a great big hug, try having a talk with your partner that explains what’s physically going on so that reassures them, then see a GP that listens and get some pain relief. There is no shame in sharing all these worries with the GP, there may be something else that they could pick up on, did you have a post op check up? Perhaps you may need to go back to the gynaecology clinic. You are not alone and you are definitely NOT going crazy or anything like it, you are a fighter and a warrior and you will crack this. I know I went through it for 20 years, the infertility, the miscarriages, ruptured ectopic, multiple operations, bleeding and pain after sex, hormone treatment, medical menopause, hysterectomy last October, bowel stuck to womb, bowel cut to free it and nearly dying during operation, colostomy bag fitted to save my life. More surgery to come but I’m fighting through it. Only good thing is I got all clear from cancer test in January as they had found lumps in my womb during surgery. You’ve got this keep fighting.
Just to add, if pain is not better post laparoscopy, you should ask to be referred back to Gynae. Unfortunately if you saw a general gynaecologist before, they may not have had the training and experience to locate and treat all the endo. If you have the funds it might be worth getting a private consultation and/ or ultrasound/MRI scan with an endo specialist.
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