Multiple conditions leading to burnout

[Devils_Advocate]

Hi everyone,

Any constructive advice welcome.

To give context, I have PCOS, endo, degenerative discs, lymphocytic colitis and my gynae now thinks I have adenomyosis too. I also suffer with frequent migraines. My consultant has recently advised I am likely to need a hysterectomy and has discussed injections in the interim. I am still fairly young so it isn't ideal.

Alongside this, my entire family has been decimated by cancer. My sister, cousin and aunt currently have it (my auntys is terminal & my dad & other cousin died from it not that long ago). My sister has had is twice and is undergoing genetic testing, to see if she/we have faulty genes.

I have a very stressful/demanding job, I manage a number of services, risk and about 40/50 staff. I love my job but it requires my brain. I find it impossible to take any pain medication without side affects (drowsiness etc), so spend most days in pain.

My husband works abroad for a significant portion of the year. Even when he is home I do the bulk of the housework. He is always 'tired'. I also have two kids and again I am chief life organiser for them - dinners, book day, trips etc.

I am beyond burnt out. I feel like no one has ever really taken my health seriously (as I rarely look unwell and have to power through). I have told my husband how ill I feel and he is currently asleep downstairs on the couch whilst I put the kids to bed.

Any cheats or tips for managing multiple priorities or making life a bit easier?

Any pain and/or stress relief suggestions?

Anyone want to send me wine 🤣

Thanks 😊

D

[AllthatGlitters]

Hello I couldn’t read your post and run, you are superwoman! My goodness what a lot you do on a daily basis, it’s no wonder you are on burnout / reserves.

Like you, I have multiple conditions which are different to yours (endo, adenomyosis, fibro, CFS and a genetic disorder as well as hypophospatemia). I don’t have as much responsibility as you as I was forced to give up work, that’s another story for another time and I also don’t have children.

I see you work FT, you could all your employer for a referral to occupational health, to discuss your health problems and how they impact your daily life. They can suggest reasonable adjustments with you such as PT work, WFH, time off for appointments or more rest time during the day to name but a few. I have always found OH to be of benefit as you provide evidence of your health conditions such as hospital letters which prove what you are saying is basically true.

Is it possible for you to also get a cleaner in once a week, I see you and your husband work. Maybe this could be affordable for you?

I would also like to add that you can apply for PIP which is a non means tested benefit so you can work, have savings and none of this is taken into account. This may allow you to work Part Time and your income would be topped up by PIP.

I use painkillers such as tramadol and naproxen for my adenomyosis pain and bleeding, along with nortryptaline for fibro and CFS as well as lots of vitamins. You can speak to your GP practice pharmacists, I found mine to be very useful and they can change your medication too.

Anyway a few thoughts from my end, I would say you need to try and manage this before you really get to burnout or breakdown stage as that would make you very poorly.

💛

[Devils_Advocate in reply to AllthatGlitters]

Thanks so much for your reply. It is rubbish that there are so many of us that are unwell.I adore my job so working part time would be a last resort. I am working from home this week mainly as I am too unwell to go the office, and my staff are understanding thankfully. I also do hybrid working which is better.

I need to look at a cleaner, I just feel lazy - which I know is ridiculous.

I don't need to claim PIP, as my husbands job can support us all if needed thankfully.

My consultant has referred me to a pain management service to discuss options, which will hopefully be useful.

Thanks again

Kara

[bunmum2]

You have my full sympathy, I always recommend Vitex agnus castus a herb I took for my endo. but really your problems seem more complicated than mine and I thought mine were bad, could you afford to hire a home help or similar to give you some breathing space occasionally?

[Devils_Advocate in reply to bunmum2]

Thanks so much for your reply. I will look into it as I've not heard of that. Yes I could get a cleaner, it is just that it makes me feel lazy etc, which is ridiculous I know.

[bunmum2 in reply to Devils_Advocate]

Anything that helps ease your load is not being lazy, its preventing you from burning out! Hope you find a good cleaner & that you can get the help you deserve.

[HealthySpiritMind]

I saw your comment that getting help makes you feel “lazy” and I am not a psychologist but I think perhaps you are so used to doing it all you feel guilty and your husband sadly doesn’t seem to help. At this point, get a cleaner once a week - your husband who is overseas most of the time is getting on my nerves and I don’t even know you! Hahah I live in a country where so many men/women are overseas workers - guess what? They all usually have cleaners either everyday or at minimum 3 times a week!!!! Imagine that!! Have you ever been where your husband is based? Number 2. Sign up for coaching/therapy - change therapists till you get one you like - Number 3. It’s time for self care! Mom needs to create a routine- get hair and nails done every Saturday morning, see best friend every Sunday evening- go for walk 2 x a week. 4. Write how you truly feel in a secret journal on your phone. 5. Give your self a big hug- you are really trying, truly ❤️❤️❤️❤️sending a virtual crate of wine (the very best one too)

[Devils_Advocate in reply to HealthySpiritMind]

Thanks for your reply. Haha he is just quite self centred at times. No, my husband travels across the USA and I stay in England. Thanks for the tips, I know I need to make more time for myself and my own wellbeing, so will try and put some things into practice 🙂

[StopDrinkingOatMilk in reply to Devils_Advocate]

You are worth it. Truly. It's hard but you got this. I am also trying to do the same. Hehe