Life...?

[KK2020]

I became diagnosed with endometriosis 3 years ago. I ended up in hospital for two weeks with kidney problems which lead to me having a number of scans and numerous medication. I was referred to the women's and they found endometriosis. I am in severe agony to the point where I can go weeks without eating, the pain caused my whole body to ache and I want to put myself out of the misery. After constant tries of medication, contraception and counselling nothing had made a change and am worse than ever. Struggling to do day to day things and live as a normal human being is a really big obstacle to overcome. It has now lead to severe depression as I think myself. I hear voices, I'm constantly in a black hole wanting to refuse to face the world! But am pushing myself through it everyday fighting the pain for it to only get worse. When I push myself to much my body shuts down it's not even a flu it's not tiredness it's just me giving up because my body can't ache what normal people do. I want an active lifestyle but I can't achieve anything when myself is letting me down. To write this has been a first for social media as I have always felt different... something needs to change, there should be more that can help. Hospitals just say it's a condition I have for the rest of my life and that breaks me knowing life isn't going to be the same anymore because every time I wake up it's pain it's a battle I can't fight anymore. But their are no answers nothing, so what is right from wrong? People say stuff but the pain everyday really is making me not sleep barely get up to even go the toilet. It can't go on...!

[mam417]

I can’t offer much relief but I can definitely say i relate and I’ve had this cry so many times! Can’t pee can’t have sex can’t exercise how I want to can barely hold down a job !

I guess you live for the good days where you can do stuff. I’ve started going to the gym just to walk (I used to LOVE weights and high intensity training but it puts me in too much pain lately) but at least walking in active in some way. Find something that works for you or maybe start something creative it might give you something you enjoy or look forward to xx

[KK2020 in reply to mam417]

I'm 19 and av tried enough things. But I can't even hold a job down anymore to exercise is pure agony. Doctors keep saying "depression" and counselling is needed? I don't want to have to feel so low in myself over something I didn't choose and their view on things puts me down just as much because they don't offer any sort of examples to help. Av tried being physically active doing little things but I really can't move out the house it takes like 3 days every time? It's just horrible how things like this happen and their is either no way round it or a really long path! Thank you though, really appreciated xx

[jburd in reply to KK2020]

So sorry this is happening to you. So unfair. Please be kind to yourself. Sometimes an epsom salt bath is the only thing I can manage. Try some selfcare if you can. Treat yourself like you would treat a sick friend, with kindness. Hugs to you. Hope you feel better soon. Tea and catnaps with a pet really help!

[KK2020 in reply to jburd]

Av tried a lot of comfort things due to eczema I react to even bath bombs so I can't relive in that way? I literally only have happiness from a water bottle and that's only 10% of the time. Just really trying a lot of things but thank you!

[jburd in reply to KK2020]

I hope you find something that works for you!

[StefaniaJW in reply to KK2020]

I have very mild endo but I absolutely CANNOT take baths ever. I recommend trying castor oil packs, movement such as walking outdoors, tui-na massages with cupping, anal manipulation by an osteopath, sleeping 9 to 11 hours per night and vitamin D supplements

[StefaniaJW]

You need to undergo through excision surgery ASAP.

If your pain is so great you are experiencing allucinations and you had kidney problems already, your endometriosis might be at a very advanced stage.

I can suggest the name of an endometriosis surgeon who has recently helped a couple women I know who had endometriosis on their kidneys.

[This post has been edited in line with Endometriosis UK's code of conduct]

Yes, it's a chronic condition that you'll have for the rest of your life, but trust me when I say it's not something you cannot tackle.

Thorough excision can give you your life back (partly!), so please do your research and go find the surgeon for you