My Zoladex headaches are absolutely horrendous these past few days. I feel like I’ve been on a 10 day drinking bender. Feeling more and more useless and emotional as my symptoms get worse.
I’ve been given a trainer at Psychosexual health counselling to use. Which involves trying to train my body to allow and make penetration easier by using a plastic trainer. Sex and any penetration hurts so much and I hardly want to go through the pain more than I have to, why would I do something optionally that I know is going to hurt me without any personal connection? Sex is going to always hurt and be pretty much impossible due to endo, I know it’s to try and get my body used to it. The whole thing is just so traumatic and I just dread the thought of even doing it. I’m starting to think about giving up on the counselling as this is the only option apart from breathing exercises they’ve given me and said they can give me. I don’t think they understand the issues that even putting anything inside me causes with endo. Plus I find my psychologist patronising which isn’t helping with wanting to stick at it.