Feel like crying...

[gemp54]

I'm currently awaiting a lap on 23rd June for suspected Endo. I've had some problems on and off for a long time now but since coming off the pill to have my kids (I'd been on the pill or something else like it since I was 16-now 30) its just gotten worse and worse. I had my little boy almost a year ago and I returned to work last week after maternity leave. I thought it would help to take my mind off the pain when I had a flare up but I'm currently sat in the toilets at work trying not to cry and go back to my desk all puffy faced. I just cant imagine continuing to deal with this and just hope I get some answers in my lap. I never thought I'd wish for Endo but right now I am just so I can have an answer. I don't want anyone to take that the wrong way because I know end isn't something to wish for at all but I just need an answer to explain my pain. Its taken a year to get to this stage and if its not that I cant see how I can mentally get through another year without a diagnosis. Sorry for the rant but I just needed to talk to someone and I have no-one here at work I can talk to. Xx

[Paulineb]

I understand what you mean, an answer means treatment. You'll get there, there's more understanding about endo now days so treatment will start as soon as you've been diagnosed. It's all about management of endo and so many different things can help but first you need that diagnosis. You're so close to your op date, worrying will just put extra stress on your body (another possible contribution to endo) so you need to find a way to calm yourself when you feel like this. Look into mindfulness, it really helps xx

[gemp54]

Thanks for your reply. My pain does seem to be a lot worse since I had my lap date and started stressing so I need to get a handle on it. I guess I'm also worried about something more serious. I have a lumpy bit in my abdomen which my doctor thinks is a bit of mis-shapen muscle after giving birth but with the lower back pain I just worry its something serious. I know they'll be keeping an eye out for anything odd in that area during my lap so its playing on my mind. On the plus side if they do find Endo at least it will be good news in comparison to finding anything like I keep thinking. I never thought I'd be looking forward to surgery so much but I'm just so keen to progress this and hopefully get answers at least the though of the surgery itself isn't phasing me! Xx