how can I deal with my feelings?

[ree1985]

hi I got diagnosed with stage 3 endo and ovarian cyst in may 2012, since then ive had constant pain and continuous bleeding. ive had a baby since and because of scare tissue I had retained placenta. I have another op booked for next week and im really scared, scared ill be told that its spread and I have to have a hysterectomy.

This is getting me down really bad I cant do fun things with my kids anymore as im in pain all the time and im bleeding and my love life with my partner is fading, I feel so disgusting in myself because im always bleeding , I hate my body atmo coz of the scares and ive bloated out. I don't know how to deal with this all how to make myself feel better. I just sit there sometimes and think why the hell is my partner with me? im always down which makes him down. I try to be strong but Im finding it really hard to. any advise? im sorry for this long question I don't have anyone to talk to about the illness and my feelings. thank you rhia.

[luisacundle]

Hi Rhia, I sympathise with you hugely. Are you waiting to have another lap? I would recommend trying the Endo Diet, it has helped reduce some of my pain and I feel a bit better for it. I have stage 2 endo but rather strong symptoms. It has also been a massive strain on my relationship, leaving me with no confidence and self-esteem. There's good days and dark days, and I have taken to writing down my feelings on the bad days to help vent it out. Hang in there, its just a bad patch that feels never-ending. I would say make sure that your partner actually understands your frustrations, and it's not just being seen as 'grumpy women problems'. Until my partner actually understood what was going on in my body, it just got pushed aside and it makes you feel very lonely. I have only told a couple of friends and my parents, which does give me some support. It does help to talk about it though. Best not to jump ahead worrying about a hysterectomy yet, there are various treatments to calm the pain, but it is a bit of an individual illness. I'm still trying to work out how best to cope too. Hope this helped.

Lu