Advice for a sister who won't listen

[Radtastiical]

Hey all! Me again. This time I'm hoping you guys can help my stubborn younger sister by giving some advice. She hasn't been diagnosed with kidney disease yet (hoping for a no), but her creatinine is high even though she's 23, almost 24 and is like 110lbs with no diabetes, but does get the occasional hypertension (high 130s) from her job dealing with customer service (y'all don't make it easy :P). Her doctor wants her to get a scan and bloodwork which her primary isn't a nephrologist so they don't know what tests to order. Anyways I've told her everything from cutting down on the sodium to not eating cold cuts, to watching her potassium but it's like talking to a wall. Also, my nephrologist told me I don't need to watch my diet but you guys have suggested it so the disease doesn't worsen. She's probably going to tell me the neph told her not to worry about diet and continue her bad habits. I love my sister and want her to live a very long and healthy life with no complications. So if you could please post some of your recommendations so that I can show her the importance of being healthy with the disease it would greatly be appreciated.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Radtastiical

Thanks for your message. You are a very supportive brother to have.

You are right about the diet it is important to eat healthily for all , especially with CKD.

She may like to look at kidney research UK.

Www.kidneyresearchuk.org for more information.

At the end of the day you can only offer her advice and the choice is hers if she wants take it.

Come on members please give radtastiical some helpful advice .

Best wishes

[Radtastiical in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thanks for the reply I'm actually her older sister, but you're right. I've just been through this the past few months and wouldn't wish this life on anyone, especially the restrictions you have to implement and the changes that must be made

[Bassetmommer]

Hi Radtasiical,

Its so hard to have a family member who doesn't "see the light" so to speak and continues to harm themselves when we know there is a better way. I did not understand if she does have CKD or could. I am sure you do not wish her to have it, but if she is not diagnosed, then does she need to change her diet? It sounds like you do have CKD, and are trying to prevent her from getting it.

Making people change "for their own good" is darn near impossible. Adult humans need a reason, a tangible reason, for change and that change has to come from within.

In your kind way, you are acting like the know-it-all sister and I am sure that is not your intent. I know very few people who like to be told what to eat. So maybe a different approach would be advised.

Does she eat an abundance of salt? That's a tough habit to break. But instead of worrying about possible CKD, remind her that it will help with her BP. If creatinine is high, look for the cause of that, such as eating large amounts of protein or working out a LOT. She needs to connect a reason that is hers personally to want to change.

So although your intentions are the best, she has to want to change. You might be doing more harm than good for your relationship. Ask her if she is worried about having CKD.... if she says no, then you might be wasting your time.

[Radtastiical in reply to Bassetmommer]

She doesn't work out but her sodium content is rather high as is her blood pressure. My mom is 60 and her bp is in the 120s while my sister is in the 130s/40s. She doesn't work out or consume much protein. I have CKD (from kidney cysts) and obviously don't want her to get it,though we don't know the cause of my CKD. So if she gets it then it will be PKD. I don't know the results of what she has, but hey never too late to start I suppose. Thanks for the reply I will definitely try your suggestions. I spent 2 hours talking to her about it and she seemed like she understood and was listening but I think it went in one ear and out the other unfortunately.

[lowraind in reply to Radtastiical]

Perhaps it would be worth finding someone her own age to share their experiences with her?

[Radtastiical in reply to lowraind]

That's a good idea! We're only 5 years apart but it could work? I'll see what I can do. Thank you!

[itzmich]

Go to the Davita class with her they give lots of info. It is really important because she is so young if she wants to avoid dyalisis or transplant. Good luck with helping her .....hope she knows how much you care.

[Sassawoman]

Don’t give up just because she doesn’t seem to be listening - it could be, at some level your words are sinking in! Maybe work to encourage her health in more subtle ways that do appeal to her.. yoga, healthy recipes, new healthier foods ... finding things that do matter to her that can be improved with healthier diet & taking care of herself. You can’t do it for her but the advice you give could still be sinking in! Best of luck to you both!

[Baza3]

Take her to a dialysis ward.

[Jonquiljo]

I think it’s important for people responding to know exactly how high her creatinine is? The only numbers you have given us is her blood pressure, which frankly is not really outrageous for an “in office” BP measurement.

Frankly it isn’t clear to me what your sister isn’t listening to. Can you elaborate? Thanks.

[Radtastiical in reply to Jonquiljo]

No problem. Creatinine level is at 1.5. Basically I'm trying to help her with her nutrition to not only lower her blood pressure but help preserve her kidney function as well. She's young so I'm worried. I know her blood pressure doesn't sound too bad but at her age and weight it's definitely something to be cautious about imo.

[Jonquiljo in reply to Radtastiical]

Is creatinine at 1.5 reproducible? Or is it the result of one test? I just think that her “problem “ needs further investigation before it is declared a problem.

People often give a deaf ear if they are approached too strongly. I certainly do! I suggest that you simply convince her let her doctor(s) try to figure out the situation. Data convinces people of things far more than people do. And it appears that she needs more data.

It’s clear that you love your sister, but until the Drs have more information, very little is known until she goes out and seeks that information. The best of luck to you (and her)!

[Radtastiical in reply to Jonquiljo]

Thanks for the advice! Unfortunately it's been at a pretty steady 1.5 for a while now. We never really looked at it as a problem before until I was diagnosed with CKD. But I'll definitely let the tests speak for themselves. Thanks again!

[Blackie57]

Try uritron and kdir tablets realy helped me a lot