Help Please

[Megbird]

I am helping someone with Alcohol Misuse started 20 month ago. Right now the Alcohol has taken over basically. He don't like hospitals and he also cancelled all Doctors appointments. He is now eating a meal a day. He has lost weight as well. I am worried. I have suggested private rehab as well.

[Jampacked]

This is a heavy burden to carry alone. Al anon for friends and family may be useful, they have a helpline.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Look after yourself. The change you want for your friend must come from within him. Bless you Megbird.

[Murphy81]

hello glad he got a someone wanting to support it is difficult you got a find a happy place for him maybe going for walks we’re maybe he will open more and get then can start ball rolling or could get him to join a group it’s not a easy route and if need to chat can pass my details will talk to him

[Megbird in reply to Murphy81]

Hi Murphy, thank you for your response and your advice. I will try what you have suggested.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

You can see what the alcohol is doing to him. Can you see what it’s doing to you? Al-Anon is your best bet. Good luck.

[Hewligan]

Can you identify a trigger?

[Megbird in reply to Hewligan]

Not so sure.

[Hewligan]

Just as an example, I was in an horrific relationship for a long time, and the trauma of that underlay a lot of bad behaviour, but the _trigger_ was things with high emotion (especially relating to kids) or things that caused a lot of stress day to day. This is the CBT thing about your stress bucket already being 95% full, which leads to short-term coping mechanisms.

So I don't mean a specific thing -- more a set of circumstances.

That said it's also really hard to stop (duh, I know, but it really is). Only a few days sober will get someone into a state where they can even really think about things. And doing that of course is stressful (and round and round we go).

Also if the cause is bad, advising someone to stop who doesn't care is almost inappropriate in a way. ("Hey I know you're upset about your wife of thirty years dying, but have you thought about taking up macrame rather than getting bombed?")

If the cause is depression, might be time for a home doc visit to prescribe antidepressants, or on the next bad one just call an ambulance and see if someone will see him in hospital.

Know that we all appreciate what you're doing for this person. It can be thankless.

[Megbird in reply to Hewligan]

Thank for youresponse, everything you said on here it is what I am experiencing. I wish I can keep him one day sober. Woken nights. Nightmare altogether. 4 A&E Vists already, he refused intravenous drip for dehydration. It is our worse nightmare.

[Hewligan]

That sounds awful -- sorry you're all going through this. We can only hope that you get an opportunity to present them to a doctor either at their home or in hospital, to try to tackle the depression (and hopefully, the addiction, eventually).