It doesn't help

[AngelaWhitmore]

It doesn't help when people tell you off for drinking it only makes matters worse.But Advice and support us the best way to deal with a drink problem.

I find myself getting better the more advice and support I get more than someone telling me it's not good for you as I know that already and the consequences.

This is why I am on here to stop in a sensible safe way and gradual till I get to the point I do no more.

I find people that judge not helpful eaither as they don't know the reasons as to why people start drinking in the first place.

But I'm hoping to have a better future drink free by the end of my journey.

All the best to everyone on here hugs.

A bit of love and understanding goes a long way.

[Crochetchica]

I quite agree. Support is so much more helpful. Sending you a hug.

[AngelaWhitmore in reply to Crochetchica]

Thank you

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

I always had well meaning friends who would tell me, “Just don’t drink so much.” Well I knew they were right. But how not to was always the problem. Once I have one, I’m toast. Besides why would I just want “one” anyway? My intention is to get as numb as I can.

It does no good to preach at a drinker. Especially since most of us are defiant anyway. Tell me not to do something and “I’ll show you.”

The only thing I can do is share my experience strength and hope with another drinker. If they chose to “hear” what I’m saying that’s out of my control.

I just lost someone I sponsored for the last four years. She died of an overdose January 28th. Due to addiction. For someone like me there’s only a few outcomes. Sobriety. Institutions. Or death.

[AngelaWhitmore in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I want you to be able to do it at you're own pace, I know you can do it bless you.

[hypercat54]

I get exactly the same about my smoking ciggies. It wasn't until I joined the quit site on here that I was able to give up with the help and support again. Unfortunately I went back to it after 17 months so am planning to give up again.

They are well meaning but just running you down isn't the answer. What is is building you up instead and telling you that they believe you can do it and that you are strong etc.

[AngelaWhitmore in reply to hypercat54]

Sorry to hear you went back to smoking, the main thing is you're in the right mind set and want to try to give up again, I wish you the best on you're journey and to keep it up

[hypercat54 in reply to AngelaWhitmore]

Thank you and you too.

[AngelaWhitmore in reply to hypercat54]

Thanks

[AngelaWhitmore]

It's better to stay with that stepping stone on and off even though it's hard than completely going back and know it's a fight but at least you have a chance to live a bit longer than fully going back.

I understand the fight is hard I'm going through it myself.

You have you're own choices in life but just advising if you can stick to on and off it's better than completely on it as at least it gives you a chance bless you.

[SoberDrunk1]

We in AA don’t judge we just share what we went thru. They call it attraction rather than promotion. We share the knowledge gained about the disease via our experience so that people who are struggling could relate to it. It takes a lot of suffering before people especially problem drinkers ti get convinced. I used to take meetings into a correction facility, i remember a guy leaving the facility after serving 5 years for vehicular homicide, yet he was wondering if is an alcoholic or not.

[fauxartist]

I found people who say stupid stuff are usually feeling guilty themselves over what ever their own vices may or may not be, and it's easier to criticize someone else than to look at their own shortcomings. Your right to share in safe places when your trying to come to terms with drinking. Some of us here don't drink at all...because we know we cannot. Others are in different stages in life, coming to terms with drinking or not. I find it an interesting dichotomy because there is no browbeating from those of us who choose not to drink at all, and the acceptance that some are just going through the motions and weighing out their choices, do so without judgement.

Many of us here have and still do live by AA guidelines, and back in the day I dealt with some pretty severe AA Nazi's that were pretty brutal at times... but when you realize the bottom line is yours to decide... you can't drink no matter what. You will find your niche support group. My beginning sobriety was pre-internet...yeah really... so now you have choices for online meetings... I have a friend who skypes meetings, and there are the face to face groups for social interaction as well.

I don't believe you can stay sober on your own, I think we need support during those rocky moments where it's easy to slip back into old habits... having someone to help you maneuver through those quagmires can be life-saving.

[AngelaWhitmore in reply to fauxartist]

Yes we should all support one another

[Audley21 in reply to fauxartist]

I so agree with you. My sister thinks (probably correctly) that I’m an alcoholic. However, I have been to her house with her friends - when all moderation is thrown out the window .. and it’s ‘ok’.

It’s hypocritical. Same with my smoking. She’s already said if I get lung cancer she will not be there for me. X

[AngelaWhitmore in reply to Audley21]

Wow that is a bit strong, you do a bit at a time you will get this.