My alcoholic self

[YNWA68]

5 weeks and 2 days AF and I’m feeling so much better but my alcoholic self can at times be like a petulant child screaming and stamping it’s feet trying to manipulate and wear me down into letting it have its own way and give into a drink. I’ve put it on the naughty step and I’m staying strong.

[Leftie]

Well done you. Think you have described the demon well. I had a situation at the weekend where my husband cancelled our night out because I wouldn’t enjoy it due to not drinking. He is a heavy drinker and I have been on the path many times but cave in. Seems he always comes knocking for the naughty one. Stay strong. We can do this 💪

[YNWA68 in reply to Leftie]

Thank you for your support. 🤗 We’ve got this 💪

[HeavyFoot]

A brilliant way of putting it. It is the Child in us that seeks consolation through booze, and will behave as a child when refused it.

[YNWA68 in reply to HeavyFoot]

One of the hardest words a child will hear is NO!! Consistent boundaries and eventually my petulant child will understand No means No!!

[Jampacked]

Well done! That inner voice can suddenly creep up on you. David Lewis writes well about relapse prevention in the book ' Alcohol and You'. You can suddenly get cravings out of the blue long into recovery. The voice ( the addiction) tries to convince you that you didn't really have an issue, that you didn't really need to stop completely etc. What I found interesting was that Lewis says as you get further into sobriety, you can get these sudden cravings. They are a sort of signal from your brain. Your brain is asking for confirmation that ' yes you really are giving up long term. ' If you don't give into the addiction your brain will start to reset and recalibrate. It will then become easier with less cravings. But these 'Are you sure you really want to give up' moments crop up for some time. You are doing the right thing. Addiction is indeed a petulant toddler who won't give up harranging you if you give in to it.

[YNWA68 in reply to Jampacked]

Thank you for your support. Just making it’s behaviour accountable to the group helped me stay strong through its constant twinning.

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

That’s one of reasons I work it one day at a time. I tell my petulant child (alcoholic) she can drink tomorrow. And tomorrow never comes.

[YNWA68 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Wise words as always Lily 🤗

[DicCarlson]

"All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king."

[YNWA68 in reply to DicCarlson]

Thank you so much. This really moved me and a poem I will refer back to when needed 🤗

[SoberDrunk1]

Once you realize that you have an alcoholic mind, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous comes handy. It helps us overcome these thoughts and lead a peaceful life. There are several promises in the book, the most I like is the 10th step promises; And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone— even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. Sobriety is a by product as long as we keep working the steps rest of our lives. All you need is perhaps 1/100th of the excitement you had seeing your dope dealer.

[catsrock]

That's awesome! You're doing great.

[YNWA68 in reply to catsrock]

Thank you. 🤗

[Jimbo92]

It’s crazy how alcohol manipulates the brain. Allen Carrs ‘easy way to control alcohol’ is a great book. Really goes into detail about how most of us aren’t the problem; it’s Alcohol. At the end of the day, it’s a drug like any other. The only difference with alcohol is that you don’t have to justify its consumption.

It's a societal norm and we’ve been brainwashed into relishing in it. That is precisely what stops people from admitting addiction and reinforces the belief that you’re better than the homeless guy on the park bench because you only have a few glasses of red a night. If you drank 12 pints on a Saturday, you can’t remember it and you must have had a good night. You’re told it’s okay so you fight with yourself over it. It’s mental tbh when you think of it.

Well done, buddy. It’s a very hard thing to do and one day I hope I never touch it again either.

[YNWA68 in reply to Jimbo92]

Thanks for your support 🤗