My partner is alcoholic

[Flo19]

we have been going to sessions through a charity over the last few months. Getting support and trying to reduce his alcohol intake. Everything takes so long. Tried to get support from the gp today., who basically said go through your other support charity. He wants help but has taken 5 months for a referral. Feel very let down by the NHS and GP.

[Cb1963]

Sadly you've been caught up with your partner's drinking problems, obviously it sounds like you are going in this journey with him to sort out his problems, I won't use the word "alcoholic " as I feel it's like a stigma to someone who requires help .This could be numerous conversations along the way, I was a chronic drinker and had numerous health problems, mental health and ptsd issues that became my problem.

It's not just about stopping drinking it's finding any deep rooted problems, work, money, family issues even marital problems, there's many layers to someone who drinks,and of course the habit or lifestyle that drinking involves if they binge drink or go in benders for weeks on end.

Now its important not to quit drinking unless he has medication otherwise things could end up in a dangerous situation, seems strange saying that but even reducing alcohol is a way of weaning off the demon brew obviously I understand that the system isn't going quickly enough, and many organisations don't want to engage with a person who is still drinking, yes it's a vicious circle, and makes you want to pull your hair out.

Ask away any other questions you like and hopefully you'll get some more replies,and then you can pick which is the best solution for your partner, and you'll be needing support in this delicate situation, it could be a long journey but myself and others will help you and your partner, best wishes Chris

[Flo19 in reply to Cb1963]

Many thanks for your reply. There are many issues which have caused him to drink but as you have said no one will engage in his mental health until he stops drinking. They believe he had PTSD but we can’t get a final assessment until he stops drinking. We are both mentally and physically exhausted and the pressure of this makes the drinking worse. It just feels everywhere you turn no one will help. No one will give him medication as he had numerous health conditions. So we are waiting on funding for detox. I feel before he gets help he will have done so much damage to his body he’ll have even more problems.

[Cb1963 in reply to Flo19]

I'm sorry i didn't get back to you sooner, I dunno what area you're in, but our council has a specific team for drink and drugs, it's essential to reach out to as many organisations that you are possibly unaware of,I tried different methods but unfortunately i didn't make any progress with the drink team or the other service that I used in directly from them .I had to receive counselling for my issues and it was pretty intense, and also received help via a charity that was funded through the national lottery, obviously it's a real problem if your partner continues to drink, it causes friction perhaps or other problems between the pair of you, and of course his physical health will start to be impacted.

I'm now left with a long term health condition called neuropathy, it's horrible, pins and needles and constant burning sensations in my feet and hands, the drinking damages nerve endings and rarely gets better, I'm still suffering after being 12+ years sober.

And I've had numerous stays stuck in hospital during my drinking days all caused by drink, obviously I don't know if your man has any health problems caused by drink but the body will only tolerate so much.

I'm sure trying to have conversations are difficult perhaps, it's not just the drink it's the other problems it causes along the way, it causes financial pressures, arguments which is part of the cycle of drinking and you possibly feel your banging your head against the wall, and perhaps your man drinks at anytime of the day or morning, there's no set time, and I used to hide drink around my partners flat, sad but try, I really feel for you here and once again don't hesitate to ask about anything!!!

I wish you both easier days ahead, Chris

[Cb1963 in reply to Cb1963]

I'm not sure if you've heard of antabuse, that's something that is used by various outreach groups, but it's pretty toxic I think, and I don't even know if this is used anymore, because I'm so long away from the various agencies that supplied this medication, it was originally found out by chance as people working in manufacturing car tyres were becoming pretty poorly after going back to work in the afternoon, they found that it's a by product in the tyre industry and the workers were having a couple of pints at dinner time and that's what made them so ill.It has to be carefully administered and monitored and taking drink with this medication needs urgent treatment at the hospital, yes it's pretty potent stuff and I'd imagine your man would need a support worker assigned to him, and a doctor to evaluate his mental health, it's such a difficult situation to take if this medication is still available,i managed to claw my way out,and thankfully not been tempted to drink again!

[Smegmer in reply to Flo19]

Can you not get him to the local hospital for a detox ? They will give him medications and monitor him.

[chrisbuy63]

Hi don't let GP fob your husband off. Ask about Naltrexone it is available on prescription and basically takes the hit/pleasure out of drinking alcohol making it easy to give it up. Do some research online about it, there are many people that got clean from drugs /alcohol easier with it.

[SoberDrunk1]

if he is willing please approach local A.A. chapter they will be glad to make a 12 step call. 12 step calls are done by experienced ex drinkers who have effectively gotten over there drinking problem and help others from the same condition. For you yourself you can approach the al-anon which is meant for family and friends of Alcoholics.

[Smegmer in reply to SoberDrunk1]

He needs a medically supervised Detox by the sound of it, AA would come later.