I really need help with my partners drinking

[Flo19]

My partner was TTotal for many years and has now started drinking. 5 months in and I’m exhausted. Hes been into hospital for detox and within 4 days of being discharged was drinking again. I tried booking him into private rehab but can’t afford it. I am not sleeping as he is getting up in the night and drinking. When he falls I have to try and pick him up. Where do I go for support. GP just recommends talking therapy which you have to wait weeks for. He needs help now and I don’t know how to help.

[SoberDrunk1]

perhaps you could call A.A. hotline, members will be glad to make a 12 step call.

[Flo19 in reply to SoberDrunk1]

Forgive me for being silly. But having never been in this situation. Is it something I can do on his behalf. He believes AA is a religious charity and it puts him off. If I call will they still help me on his behalf

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Flo19]

I can assure you, it’s a spiritual program of action. An individual can come up with there own concepts of what they believe in. Yes A.A. members will still try to help as long as the prospect is willing to listen. They will come in and share their experience strength and hope.

You probably can educate yourself about the disease by reading the book AA. I will put the link to the text later. You may visit the site and start reading it. There are 2 chapters you can focus on “more about alcoholism “ and there is a solution chapter.

[Stippler]

Could you go to Alanon meetings? There you could hopefully meet others in your situation who could steer you in a good direction.

[Flo19]

thank you feel your replies. Sometimes its hard not to feel alone. But I will definitely read the book as I want to be there for him. Sounds like a good suggestion and a good starting point.

[SoberDrunk1]

aa.org/sites/default/files/...

aa.org/sites/default/files/...

If you look closely at the story about the car salesman, he too started late around 35 but quickly became serious drinker. All can relate to the stories in the big book. Its filled with personal experience and best of all they narrate how they recovered from it.

[Flo19]

thank you so much

[Jampacked]

Hi Flo,There are alternatives to AA such as Smart recovery smartrecovery.org.uk/ Meetings are free and they also have friends and family support. Bless you Flo, you have a life and need rest and happiness too. Please prioritise your own support first. Your partner may not be ready for help and support but you definately are xxx

[Flo19 in reply to Jampacked]

Thank you for your advice. I found the website really helpful and I like the friends and family support groups.

[secrets22]

Oh gosh, that is a terrible thing to deal with and you have my sympathy , he really should attend AA meetings, they are not in the least religious it is purely like-minded people meeting to discuss the problem. Many years ago in my drinking days i went to them and it helped me enormously and i now no longer touch alcohol, except i might have a small sherry at new year, in fact it no longer likes me.

[Flo19]

He has for the first time today admitted he needs help. So fingers crossed he starts to understand what he needs. I also found a self help group for myself. So I’m hoping today is the start of the Recovery x

[SoberDrunk1 in reply to Flo19]

Thats a great progress. The first step in recovery is recognize that we have a problem. This is definitely a great shift. Wish you and your partner good luck. You can always ping me directly if you or your partner has questions about the 12 steps of AA. Here is my notes on what Powerlessness and un-Manageability means to me, I have them on google drive, feel free to download and check it out: tinyurl.com/firststepAA

[Flo19]

thank you for your offer over the next few weeks I’m sure I’ll have questions or tips to request.

[Jimbo92]

it’s a horrible situation to be in. I grew up with alcoholic parents and we begged them to stop and so did everyone else. My mum would go a week without it then ultimately end up back on the wagon. No matter how much people begged her and tried to help, it didn’t matter.

I hope he gets help, saw a comment below you mentioned he’d admitted he needs help. That’s the only thing that works, admitting and not denying the problem. Is there reason he’s started drinking again?

[Flo19]

We have been for a meeting to get help with a drinking team. Support starts from Thursday so fingers crossed. He recently had an operation and had to stop working for a few months and I think he’s feeling useless and rejected.