My Emotional Connection to Alcohol During the Holidays

[Isinatra]

Ok. I’m going to allow myself to stir up old memories. The physical craving for alcohol went away about 24 hours after I stopped drinking. But the emotional ties still haunt me after 20 years of abstinence. Especially during the holidays. The memories have become vague, but not gone. In order to stay sober, I had to change my environment, habits, friends and anything that was a trigger to drink. In other words, people, places and things. Even how I viewed the holidays. I used to view them as a time to be happy, gay, bright and full of alcohol. Mr. Barley made that possible. To get through those holidays, I drank. It helped me be someone who I wasn’t. When I sobered up for a long enough time, I learned how to say no without guilt. No, I can’t make those parties and dinners that serve alcohol. No, I won’t be buying gifts for every Peter, Paul and Mary. No, I won’t fret if I forgot to send someone a card, no, don’t buy me that bottle of champagne. Because I don’t drink anymore. Thank you, anyway. I’m sorry that you don’t understand. It was so hard at first to say no. So instead I surrounded myself during those days of merriment with people like myself. Non drinkers. They were part of my insurance policy to keep me from drinking again. They ran interference when I would start reminiscing of what I remembered as those warm and fuzzy feelings that were in reality black outs and too much time recuperating. Yes, the emotional attachment of alcohol to holidays wanes and becomes manageable over time, but I can never rest on my laurels. It would only take one glass of champagne to wipe out the decent life I worked so hard for. 💖

[Hidden]

You are a very brave lady, laying yourself bare like that bu I would be willing to gamble that you have helped untold number of people that are desperately trying to navigate themselves through the murkiness of alcohol dependency to a life free of the addiction. It is also clear that giving up isn't a one time deed, it is a daily struggle. Well done.

[Isinatra in reply to Hidden]

Staying sober includes trying to help others however small the effort is. You are helping me and others just by talking about it as well.

[Itzallgood1]

That's the best change you made in yourself. I commend you the choices you made . 🙂

[Isinatra in reply to Itzallgood1]

Thank you, Itzallgood. I chose, as difficult as it was at first, to live.

[Itzallgood1 in reply to Isinatra]

You've done a marvelous job. I know a few that fell back into their old ways. They say it is very difficult to quit. I try to support in any way I can.

[Isinatra in reply to Itzallgood1]

It’s hard for some and not so hard for others to abstain. Different circumstances for everyone. I could stop for months at a time. A friend stopped for two years to go to college, then celebrated her graduation by drinking and can’t use her degree because she went right back to where she was before she stopped. Another friend didn’t seem like a problem drinker until he retired and died of alcohol poisoning within two years of retirement. These people, myself included, tried to go it alone. Friends, family, sometimes strangers tried to help us. Ultimately, though, it’s up to us to decide when we’ve had enough, if we still have the capability of rational thought.

[Itzallgood1 in reply to Isinatra]

❤❤❤❤ I'm glad you made it.❤❤❤❤

[Camper33]

I can't imagine how hard you have and still are working to stay away from alcohol I am very grateful to the help you have given me and I am sure there are plenty of others.

Well done and thanks

[Isinatra in reply to Camper33]

Thank You, Camper33. In time, it does get easier. Everybody has their own timeline, though. Some slower, some quicker. 😊