Hi all,
Just a very quick goodbye note, as I can barely type by now, to let you know that I will receive medical help in dying Monday, January 15, 2024. Legal here in Canada. I am looking forward to being delivrred from all the pain and total depending/ruining of my husbands life...
Good luck to you all.
Good bye. Peace be with you.
Hi MB. Happy New Year to you. I would have liked to have known what the M stands for?
Did you mean past tense? I'm not going anywhere. (M is for Marc) Have you read the original post in this thread?
Do you have the original post so we can respond directly to Parkie- and she will hopefully see the replys. Thanks.
SE
scroll down. It's near the bottom
healthunlocked.com/cure-par...
Sh*t!!!!! Parkie's post is required reading for us all - a true legacy to the community. I understand and support your decision Parkie. Love to you and yours x
Peace to you Parkie.
I'm so sorry to hear it has reached this point Parkie- . I believe life goes on after it ends here, and I hope you get a long stretch of smooth sailing on calm waters going forward. I am praying for you. May God be with you.
Where is the sad button? I can well understand your feelings. Once a certain level is reached it is time.
Peace to you, Parkie. You will sleep with the Fathers, the best of company.
So sad to read this. May you rest in peace and be relieved of all your sufferings.
Our love and prayers will accompany you on your big journey...
I'm completely with you. Go in peace.
Peace and Light to you Parkie.
I wish you light, happiness and serenity. Love Michel
Wishing you tranquility and a peaceful path ahead Parkie ❤️ Missy
I’m so sorry may you rest in peace
Christ! I feel lke I've been gut-punched! This has to be the single most shocking thing I've read on this site. I don't know Parkie, but she was a very active member and I learnt a lot from her. Up until now, I've thought this site to be a good source of info and tips about living with PD. Parkie's sad message has brought home to me how bloody serious PD is. I don't believe in an "after-life", God or any other supernatural phenomenon. I do believe in the "big sleep".
I fully understand Parkie's belief in the relief and peace she will have in doing this. I hope to do the same thing in a few years when it all gets too much.
Adieu, Parkie!
Dan.
You are in my thoughts and prayers, Parkie. May God restore you and you rest in the arms of His peace.
May peace, love and prayers accompany you on your journey 💞💞💞💞💞
Parkie, I am praying for you, that you can check in with God for His thoughts on this important decision. Forget what the humans are saying . Rest assured that He loves you and only He can give you peace. He understands. Your life matters to him. I’m not going to say good bye or good luck. I may be the only one out here thinking this but I’m praying you will change your mind and live a while longer. We need you. Your family needs you. Oh Lord Jesus please help this soul!
I would like to hear that rather than you life matters, hear 'your wishes matter and that if you decide you need to get on the bus earlier, I accept' and will greet you as any other person, such as those who have had treatment to prolong their life when I was calling them.
Hi Beanie! Sorry if my reply does not please you. My comment was intended for Parkie 9 who Is in a very difficult and serious situation. I have tried to put myself in Parkie’s shoes. What would I want to hear? Truly I would want someone to love me enough to find a gentle loving way to protest my decision and beg God for my life.
Parkie 9 seems to be a good person who cares about others and Parkie 9 seems to be contemplating suicide, believing that leaving this life would overall help loved ones more than it hurts them . But what if Parkie 9 is wrong? What if the suicide of this clearly admirable person encourages many others to commit suicide when a cure may be right around the corner? What if Parkie 9 could do far more good by begging God for the grace and divine power needed to go on living?
In my mind It goes without saying that God gave us all free will. Of course we must all accept the free will of others. But my Lord Jesus teaches me to say to God “Thy will be done.” (Not my will but thine). It’s been my experience that when I am weak and upset I am more likely to forget to check in with God - just when I need Him most and just when He most ardently wishes to help and advise.
Why would anyone not want Parkie 9 to consult with the loving and powerful Almighty God in this major decision? Parkie 9 is clearly consulting with many people online, Why not remind Parkie9 (and all those considering suicide) to consult with God (by knee mail)? He knows a lot more about the next life than all of us put together and only He can love Parkie 9 perfectly.. Only God can provide Gods perspective. But God too respects Parkies free will and He will not interfere unless Parkie9 asks for His help.
So therefore I remain on my knees begging God to shower Parkie with grace and reminding Parkie to just check in with our Loving Father before finalizing the decision. I hope to meet Parkie (and Jesus) (and all my fellow Parkies) in heaven someday.!
Amen
Not your life..not for you to decide.
The thing that stands out in your commentary is that this might encourage others who are suffering from Parkinson's in this forum might want to follow suit.
Do you really think that it's a realistic possibility. I am not so sure. But your comment about the possibility of a cure around the corner is encouraging, if only as a useful affirmation to have. I believe that hope is a good thing and life does bring surprises.
Thanks for your reply. I’ve done a lot of research on suicide because I’ve very painfully lost several precious friends that way, and want to do what I can to encourage other solutions. Also the thought of suicide enters my own mind at times because this disease is rough, but so far faith has empowered me to hang in there . Mostly I just want people to know how valuable they really are and how much God loves them and wishes to help them if they will allow it. Here is just one of many articles on suicide contagion. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pac/articl...
Amen
Firstly, her username is 'Parkie-'. You were clearly in such a rush to impose your fantasy-based morality on her that you couldn't even get that right. Some might that say that being so unfamiliar with her circumstances that you don't even know her name would be a good reason to stay away from advising her.
What if the suicide of this clearly admirable person encourages many others to commit suicide when a cure may be right around the corner?
What an absolutely disgusting thing to say. Vacuous to the nth degree.
Truly sorry about the name error. My PD affects my vision and I read it wrong . But suicide contagion is real. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl....
The paper you link makes no mention whatsoever of voluntary assisted dying.
I have tried to put myself in Parkie’s shoes.
No, you haven't done this at all. You went straight to preaching your religion.
Amen!!!
It is up to me now to decide i have suffered enough. 3 MDS approved my move, stating there is nothing more they can do. The only thing i wish i could have benefit fromwas. Jonathan Sackner-Bernstein & Dopamine
But i cant wait that long. I showed my mds the study and asked for AMPT, to no avail...
❤️❤️❤️never met you but still I Love you! Thanks for your kindness and loving replies.
I’m so sorry. Life isn’t fair. I wish you peace with this hard decision.
I never had the opportunity to get to know you lovely lady since I have been coming here.
I hear you and I respect with love your wish for release from your torment. I will be thinking of you on your day and I wish you God speed and sweet release from Australia💔💔 Parkie
Godspeed...
you have been an inspiration Parkie and this post proves that you still are. I hope I have your selfless fortitude when the time comes.
Sending thought of peace, strength and love to you and your family <3
Dear Parkie,
Wish you a peaceful transition to no more pain and to your loved ones all the strength in the world. Hope your heart is filled with beautiful lived moments and love. You are so strong.
In buddhism , life is visualised as a wave surging from the ocean that eventually will merge back into the ocean at the time of death. May your return to the ocean be as you hope.
❤️
Thanks Marc it was important to share this.
May your journey be blessed May you have Peace
I respect and honor your decision and ask the Holy Spirit to journey with you. Peace and love I pray for you.
sorry to hear. My wife is a trooper. I feel bad that she looks after me and gets nurses to come in and give her a break. Tough for me to see she has put her own life in good it seems . She keeps reminding me of the wedding vow ‘for better for worse , in sickness and health’
Blessings to you all .
I am sad. God bless you and your loved ones
Parkie has been a hugely valued member of this community.
She's helped countless people (myself included) with her honest, insightful contributions.
Always polite and respectful and often displaying a wonderful sense of humour.
.....thank you.
Parkie ~ I am so sorry to read this. It grieves my heart for you. I am praying for you as you wait for the day that Jesus will bring you comfort and be with you in this difficult and serious decision. Yes, He loves you and does understand completely.
God bless you. May you find peace on the other side.
Parkie, as a fellow Canadian here, I totally understand and respect your decision. I feel blessed to live in a place with this option. I believe that when my time comes, I will also seek the MAID’s option. The sound mind requirement might be the only thing that may stop mine.
Bless you and know how much we care.
I am so sorry MB Anderson 😢 I believe that God loves you very very much! He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to die for you and offers you eternal life in believing in Him.
Our life is but a vapor in comparison to the eternity God offers you 🙏
I'm so sorry for your suffering! You are valued by God and this loving community ❤️
Are you 100% sure about this? God knows the day we are to be born and the day we will go home. Why not leave it in His hands?
I am praying for you!
You are loved!
You mean to direct this to Parkie-, not me.
I see now! Thank you MBThis hopelessness broke my heart.
I'll try to find her post and direct her to reading these.
I can't find her post...please forward my post. I care deeply.
MBAnderson, I am new to this post, I DO NOT see a Parkie post? MB are you connected to Parkie? Thank you.
I reproduced her post as (the start of) this thread.
We've exchanged emails a few times since her surgery.
Thank you Marc for posting thisI just saw it now
Every person on this forum wishes you peace.
Love and Peace to you Parkie
MB, I just read where you are emailing her. PLEASE don’t let her do this, I don’t know her situation, but, there HAS to be something she can DO/TRY????? There could very well be SOMETHING just around the corner! She can’t give up. I would think her husband would rather have her, no matter what her situation, than NOT have her!!! Parkie, PLEASE don’t give up!!!
If and when pain becomes unbearable and unstoppable, then what has to be done has to be done Whenever I experienced severe toothaches rein through my scull (and this not the worst pains you can experience), I never underestimate the pains other people have to endure. It will be foolish to do so or question their decisions
Hello Grumpy, I understand what you say. None of us can judge when a person has finally reached the end of the Hope Rope. Too much pain and no hope can eventually bring a person to give up. It saddens me for Parkie and that it has taken SO long, to just now, be getting to more significant trials and and studies. Many people have had this for years and years and have been waiting and waiting, only to hear “you don’t qualify for this trial”, or to hear “this or that won’t work for YOU”!!! I feel for everyone on this forum with PD and I am SO thankful we have this forum to share everything we can! Melodi
I am so sorry you have to go Parkie, but I understand your decision. Hope there's no pain and suffer in heaven, may you rest in peace!
Dear Parkie, my heart - full of tears and grief - goes out to you. I am so overwhelmed with your situation, especially that 4 months ago I've lost my 34 old son to cancer after much suffering. Have tears streaming down my face, praying that God's will be done 🙏
Dear Faridaro. So sorry to hear of your loss. The Lord is with you and He will never let you go or walk alone. Shalom, shalom.
youtu.be/qA0YKJ0_Ivk?si=VUA...
this is for you too Parkie. Hugs
I'm so sorry for your loss, faridaro
Thank you, Marc. Also, thank you for posting Parkie's last post otherwise many of us would have missed it.
Your courage and conviction, Parkie, evokes a warm “hear, hear” from this corner. Set yourself free on your own terms and rest in soft peace.
Hello Parkie, What else can be said other than what you believe and value. Who am I to judge you Parkie? The longer I live the longer I realize how nothing I am. So I"m doing my level best to not have any hint of preaching or judging you in this comment. I believe that there is a God/Creator and is our ultimate authority. I believe it a mistake to decide of your own volition to take your life by the hands of man. I don't know you but I love you and I believe that God loves you deeply. john
Parkie, FUS put you in the predicament didn't it?
I did, I can see you said she is following the comments I'm thankful she sees we care❤️
I noticed 30+ posts offering support then two or three with the opposite viewpoint, that God is in charge and the OP doesn't have the right to her own fate irrespective of the pain she's suffering.
I am glad for you that your country allows you this decision. May it be a peaceful process, May you abide in love. I had not followed your posts but now have read them and deeply appreciate the lessons you shared. My thoughts will be with you.
Where was god/jesus over the last 4 years of Parkie's life? Sitting idle as she suffered, by the looks of it. Yet she is to put her faith in it/he/them again? Fool me once...
Do not know what to say or what should be said but I can honestly say that I do understand pain and dependency..May God bless your soul and if there is any other life you be fully healthy.
Dear Parkie, I just read that FUS did this to you. Like, Gaga, that pisses me off too. I don’t KNOW what exactly happened, but, I have read some of what can happen with FUS. I can only assume (it was OVER THE TOP BAD?). I don’t know you or know what the heck happened to you, but, if you are suffering TERRIBLY, and, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that can be done, then, I understand how you would want to go, BUT, are you 100% SURE there’s ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE????? I JUST can’t believe there’s NO HOPE. My heart goes out to you SO much. I wish to GOD there was something I could do for you. This is the saddest thing I have seen. You have touched my heart. What about your husband, do you have kids? You leaving them has to be SUCH a nightmare, unless they REALLY WANT THIS for you? Well, I am at a loss here because I don’t know anything about you, but, I know people who committed suicide, then, little later, there was a cure. You must do what you have to, only YOU know, but, know I am EXTREMELY sad for you. EXTREMELY! 😢😢😢 Melodi
Let it be quick and painless, you and your close family aware as you reach that serene end, peace be with you Parkie.
"A Time to Die, ITV1 review: superb, heart-rending documentary humanises the assisted dying debate. A Time to Die, ITV1's superb documentary film, began by noting that over 425 million people around the world now have the right to some form of medically assisted suicide.13 Nov 2023" on 13 Nov 2023 I was in depths of depression, when I saw this superb documentary, I was shouting at the tv tears coming down my face, I live in Northern Ireland, but I could see the arguments for "No" and "Yes" assisted dying debate has been going on for decades, it is legal in the likes of Canada and Switzerland, but in the likes of UK a person can be arrested for just helping someone or themselves in the process of assisted dying. I fully agree that a person should be given assistance in the process of dying IF they are fully aware that they have no chance of living, BUT this is the sticky part, who has the right? In the program patients were attempting to end their living by the "Dignitas" organization in Switzerland! I was able to see both sides of the argument, in the end I realised that this was not the right time, I was declared free of PC a couple of days later. In 2017 I tried suicide for my first time, by a drug overdose, as I slipped into unconsciousness, a bright light, serene calmness, obviously I survived, okay I am terminally ill, since July 2021, but there is still life in the old dog yet, but absolutely not for any religious reason, and THAT IS JUST MY OWN OPINION! Parkie I have the highest admiration for you and for you to have the strength to choose your option, may your final journey be short and painless, peace be with you.
I should explain partly writing my reply at 2.30am, I was declared terminally ill in July 2021, broken skull, double seizure, epilepsy for over 50 years, irreparable brain damage, I have severe osteoporosis in my rib cage (untreatable), I had Prostate Cancer [misdiagnosed] but I was cleared of that in November 2023🤗, but nevertheless am still terminally ill.
Nicole is an amazing soul I was lucky enough to befriend through this forum. I know that she is an exceptional and intuitive woman and a fighter who did not arrive at her decision hastily. Have a peaceful sleep my friend.
How old are you Marc? I am 89 and still doing fast walking. As you may remember, I was diagnosed with PD in 1992 and only in 1994 did I stop taking useless medication and started doing fast walking and since 1997, I have had no PD movement problems. Should I be retiring now?
John, You seem oblivious to what this thread is about??
Like that should be a surprise🙄
Dear Parkie, my heart is heavy but I fully understand your choice. May you enter a place of light and peace where there is no suffering of any kind. With love.
Oh my gosh, can't believe I am reading this - this is so wrong. Please help your friend - if it is a friend, if you are a friend. People should not play God. Canada has a tyrannical government and this state sanctioned kiling is a slippery slope to genocide of the elderly and disabled whom are considered a 'burden'
RE Inovator's post
I also will set alarm for 15th Jan and hold respectful silence for one minute.
I've always felt as PWP we are all in this together. Makes it hard to know one of us is losing the fight. I feel consumed by sadness.
Thank you deat. I will receive M,A,I,D, at 4:30 Pm on the 15
sorry to bother you, what city/timezone are you in, Nicolle?
I believe she is in Quebec
I live in Montréal, Québec, Canada
Thanks Parkie-, so everybody knows, Quebec is on Eastern Standard Time.
4:30 Pm EST on the 15th. I will set an alarm. Peace be with you. Dave (Bolt)
Thank you , Dave. I always read you with great interest. Keep up your good work, helping our fellow members
Thanks Parkie-, this group, my wife, and my cat (maybe not in that order) are the reasons I am here. Good luck and may God bless you.
Parkie- I understand your suffering but please don't go. At least consider the below as a last attempt.
healthunlocked.com/cure-par...
The only thing i think i could have benefit from was. Jonathan Sackner-Bernstein & Dopamine study. His explanations ôf dopamine toxicité matches my case exactly. Marionp did a great job explaining the process and had mention AMPT treatment was making sense.... I showed all this to neuro, to no avail
What possible was his/her explanation?
Read her responded
inhealthunlocked.com/cure-par...
I foud this: but neuro wont acknowledge:
Low dose alpha-methyl-para-tyrosine (AMPT) in the treatment of dystonia
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/173...
Very interesting thread (which I overlooked.) MarionP gives excellent explanations (& so much vitriol from NewGuywithPD.)
I wasn't clear. I was asking what explanation your neuro gave for declining to give you AMPT?
Because not an apprpouved treatment, i asked also the palliatif home dr and 3 others, all said no
Unbelievable!!
Has anyone here ever had access to this: AMPT (alpha-methyl-para-tyrosine) ?
Interesting,, AMPT reduces the formation of dopamine. Conventional wisdom says PD is a deficiency of dopamine. Why would AMPT work? Why reduce something the body isn't producing anyway? Maybe because convention wisdom is wrong. Is there irony that the OP may end it all while we are on the cusp of a cure.
Hello Kaypeeoh,
Here s an extract from a response from Marionp.
"If for some reason there is too much dopamine, with perhaps one kind of too much being if there is more dopamine than the vesicles can transport, then dopamine is stuck in the cell and while more dopamine is being made it amounts to too much dopamine accumulating in the cell, which poisons the cell and then that toxic effect kills off the dopamine producing capabilities of the cell and so now the cell produces not near enough because it's dead.
That's what he is suggesting could be going on with intracellular dopamine that doesn't get transported out of the cell by the vesicles, maybe the vesicles are impaired or there are too few vesicles or there is too much dopamine being produced"
OR...too much dopamine is crowding the receptor sites. They bunch up because they want to attach but so many of them are trying that nothing can get through. In allergies if you're allergic to ragweed then ragweed extract can be given. So much extract is in the area that nothing can break away to attach to the cell receptor site.
"then dopamine is stuck in the cell and while more dopamine is being made it amounts to too much dopamine accumulating in the cell, which poisons the cell and then that toxic effect kills off the dopamine producing capabilities of the cell and so now the cell produces not near enough because it's dead."
I believe Citicoline helps here:
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...
According to these authors, increased dopamine synthesis could be attributed to an enhancing effect of citicoline upon tyrosine hydroxylase activity, the rate-limiting step in dopamine synthesis. This activation of tyrosine hydroxylase would lead to an inhibition of dopamine reuptake at the synapse, an action that has been shown in ex vivo studies [288,289].
I can't speak for the neuro but see my response.
healthunlocked.com/cure-par...
Thanks, beyond me, but thank you.
God Bless you and go in peace❤️
This is so sad, but may you find peace and solace Parkie
Have you considered...?: gotquestions.org/euthanasia...
What if you don't believe in (the Christian) god? Most people don't.
God Bless
I am finding new hope with 299v. healthunlocked.com/cure-par...
What kind f pain?
As a Parky and carrier of the most virulent type of the 'Celtic Curse', Hereditary Hemochromatosis C282Y homozygote, the iron link is intriguing to me: '... on autopsy, iron concentration was significantly increased in the substantia nigra of PD patients' (nature.com/articles/srep36669). I'm awaiting a (non-contrast) MRI appointment to see the current state of deposition. Meanwhile, EDTA chelation may help and Cat's Claw reduces/ eliminates alpha-synuclein aggregates. Best to you.
Only you know what you are going through. You must be in an awful state. As a major contributor to this site we all feel extremely sad.
I wish you all the best.
As a fellow PWP, I can fully understand why you have arrived at this decision. May you find the peace and comfort that you have been searching for so long.
Dont give up there is still hope, try copper and garlic, and dont eat meat in morning, also there is some research with vaccine for parkinsons and gene therapy is hopeful
What is Copper and Garlic?
Dear Parkie,
I don't really know your circumstances and can only guess the deep, deep pain and despair that you are in. What a horrible, dreadful situation when to carry on living appears harder than to end your life!
I am sure that our circumstances are different, but like probably many people here I’ve had moments of “I cannot take it any longer” and “Oh, what’s the bloody point”.
I don't believe in God. But what has helped me in those dark moments was the realization of two things.
(1) This unique life is the only one we got. And however worthless and painful it seems at the moment, it may still be better than having no life at all.
(2) People care about me. My kids, wife, family, friends and colleagues would miss me. And whatever they have to put up with due to my presence is much smaller than the sorrow they would feel when I am not there anymore.
Very fortunately for me, these moments passed. By experimenting with more and different medication, new treatments (like the gloves), or perhaps just by accident. I did not really feel well again (like in the life before PD), but at least a little bit better and good enough to carry on for another day, and then another one, and another one.
And when these moments come again, as they probably will, I just hope that I will have the strength and patience to make it through them, one day after another, until life is more bearable again.
Take care!
Ever since, I read your post,Parkie, I have not been able to think of anything else. Reminds me of my mother who suffered from rheumatoid arthritis for quite a long period of time. I , then used to pray that God should either provide a miracle cure or take her away from us atleast b'cos I couldn't ear to see her sufferingI am fullof admiration for the your bravery in everything
I'm praying to God to relieve you of all your sufferings peacefully
A favorite Scripture for dear Parkie, who has been a tremendous friend and influencer on this website ...and who knows how tiring and painful that fighting battles is. John 3:16-17 from the Creator. I love you! 🙏
Buen viaje. El Señor nos pone a prueba para ver hasta donde somos capaces de aguantar. Pero llega un momento en que llegamos al límite y tenemos que decidir si es justo el sufrimiento de los que nos rodean. La decisión es nuestra. Y hay que ser muy valiente para tomar esta decisión.Te admiro.
From Paralelo
"Have a good trip. The Lord tests us to see how far we are able to endure. But there comes a time when we reach the limit and have to decide if the suffering of those around us is fair. The decision is ours. And you have to be very brave to make this decision. I admire you."
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Mary Elizabeth Frye
Any Parky dancers out there?A bit of fun playfulness and music as medicine?
What on Earth is going on? Meds lasting 1 hour?
Cirm.ca.gov : post deleted 
