A bit of a ramble...

[Vo321]

I'm hoping what I'm about to write will resonate with someone. Having chronic illness/es can be so debilitating at times and very few people seem to understand or acknowledge this. I decided to accompany my mother on a shopping trip into town this afternoon and I just couldn't manage it! As we were walking, I could already sense it was gonna be 'one of those days'. Before we even got far we had to sit on a bench as I was feeling very lightheaded. I picked up a few items but I had to get a taxi home and leave my mum in the city centre, as my energy levels were just depleted. It breaks my heart because it worries her sick too (she often feels helpless). I'm 23 years old (soon to be 24) and it kills me seeing other people my age living out their youth, being healthy and worry-free. If I feel like this now, how will I feel in 10 or 20 years time from now? I don't ever want to be someone's burden. I'm terrified to walk about alone; in case I pass out from the constant foggy brain that never seems to go away. At times I feel useless and at other times I feel guilty because it could always be worse (like what do I have to complain about). Another thing that gets me down is that I want to become a parent one day; but how on earth am I going to be one (or at least a good one) if I'm going to be too tired/sick to properly look after my kids. I don't work but I am a university student. I took some time off uni about two years ago; if I was to take more time off, I might be 50 by the time I complete my degree. 😆 I know it's kinda silly but sometimes I ask myself if I brought this upon myself (like why is my body failing me). Sorry for rambling; I just needed to get this out. Thank you for reading!

[tremarel]

Aww bless ur heart I know how u feel but I’m much older & been like it since age 17. I’ve always been the same. I never had children & still struggle on. Try not to be hard on yourself ur not alone my lovely. I know it’s scary but try to be strong & soldier on. At least ur trying with ur degree & you will get there & doesn’t matter how long it takes. There are some lovely people out there & many will & do understand . Plod on & don’t push ur body too much . Rest as much as u can , chill but don’t let ur mind overthink too much . Keep smiling you will get there . All the best ur a gladiator! X

[Vo321 in reply to tremarel]

Hi tremarel,

you have lifted my spirits! I initially got ill around the same age as you; I'm so happy that you're still around and fighting strong. I'll take your advice on board.. sometimes all we can do is take it one day at a time! Resting is usually something that's very helpful for me to feel at least half-human 😆. Thank you for taking the time to respond. From one gladiator to another, God bless. Xx

Vo321

[tremarel in reply to Vo321]

Anytime u want to chat my sweet feel free If I can help I will willingly do so even if u don’t understand any of ur problems. I have been through the mill & still do daily but do try as best U can to fight on . . Sometimes resting is hard as ur body just wont . It is a vicious circle. It certainly will make u a better person with all the suffering u watch . As the years go by you will gain more strength than u ever imagine don’t give up fight on !!💪. X

[Vo321 in reply to tremarel]

Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

[SORRELHIPPO]

Rest is so important, I have had these issues since I was early 30's now mid 60's. Neighbours thought I was a "bad" wife as husband had to do the vacuuming!! In-laws kept asking when I would get better, concept of an illness that could not be "cured" beyond a lot of people. Just ignore the ignorant, learn your body/mind and rest as needed I ended up being able to work two and a half days a week, if I slept all week end, we needed the money, so that is how I lived. Good luck

[Vo321 in reply to SORRELHIPPO]

Hi Sorrelhippo,

I'm sorry to hear that your neighbours were so judgmental towards you. It's unfortunate that people can sometimes brush off an serious illness without realising how debilitating it can be for the sufferer. Half a loaf is definitely better than nothing; to have a chronic illness and being able to work is pretty impressive to me. I will try my best to get as much rest as I can. Thank you.

[FRreedman]

Hi, I was diagnosed with Crohn's, aged 11, 52 years ago. The only way I could work was, on a self-employed basis (If I didn't work, I wasn't paid). I looked on the rest I needed as part of a doctor's prescription, if I needed pills I took them and it I needed a rest I took it. It's not easy but I have one son, one wife and one grandson now, and, at 63, I think I've had a good go at getting what most people would consider, a good return from my Labour's over the years. As I said, it's not easy, but then nothing that's worthwhile ever was. Good luck.

[Vo321 in reply to FRreedman]

Congratulations on being able to start a family and now being a grandparent! That in itself is a blessing. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to be so young dealing with Crohn's. I would like to be self-employed in future; being able to work hours that suit me and my health needs. As you suggested, I'm also starting to listen to my body a little more nowadays. Thank you for the advice!