A but of background - I started the C25K in the middle of January because I needed something to get me out of the house and give me some space from my kids (aged 2.5 and 10 months), wanted to to try and lose the baby weight, and also knew it might help with my post-natal depression. I got injured in W2R2 and had to have 3 weeks off, then restart the program, but since then I have been doing at least 1 run a week, and generally 2 or 3. My husband has also been doing it, and we have set days that we each run while the other one looks after the kids, so if we miss a run, we have to wait 2 days until our next slot before attempting to go again. Two weeks ago I finished week 8, but then last week I was ill at the start of the week and couldn't run, and then the weather was atrocious and I couldn't face going out in it again having slogged to toddler groups in it earlier in the day. We were then away for the day on the day I usually do my weekend run, so my first chance to get back into it was Monday. It did not go well.
Stupidly, I decided to start week 9 anyway, even though I wasn't feeling confident, as I had been fine running 28 minutes the week before. I also decided to stick with the route I had already planned, which involved running down a very steep hill and then back out the other side for the first half of the run, then running home along the flat. In fairness, I made it all the way down and was within 10 metres of the top when I saw that it didn't flatten out immediately as I had expected but continued to slope upwards for a little while longer, and I gave up and stopped just 15 minutes in. I haven't stopped since W1R1 the first time round. I don't let myself stop because I know it would be a slippery slop for me. As anticipated, I then walked for a while, and ran on and off the rest of the way home, allowing myself to stop whenever it got at all tough.
I just feel so down and demoralised now. I feel like the voice in my head that says I can't do it and I'm stupid to think I can run has actually won, whereas on my last run before this one, it was quieter than ever before. I couldn't try again on Tuesday because it was my husband's running day, but I am supposed to be going tonight, and I am really struggling to motivate myself. I feel like now I have stopped, I will keep stopping and that I can't do it any more. I seem to have completely lost my confidence. I was thinking I could a 20 minute run today to try and ease back into it, then a 25 minute run next, then 28 to build me back up to trying week 9 again. But my husband thinks 20 minutes is too big a step down and that I failed because I tried to do a steep hill after a week off and with low confidence, and that I should just do a 25 minute run on the flat. I'm just worried that given I only made it to 15 minutes running on Monday, I'll fail again at 25 minutes and will feel even worse about it and won't be able to get back out again. Any advice on how to proceed?