So much good advice and kindness on this site. And so many encouraging posts from other people who show me that the feelings of embarrassment that I thought were just another feature of my own slightly warped view on life are maybe fairly 'normal'! Its not that I want to feel or be special in any way but finding that lots of people have similar worries to me has been really helpful. Albeit rather late in the day, I'm trying to change my worries about not fitting in and an unexpected benefit of Parkruns is that I hardly feel self-conscious at all - partly I guess, because I'm in a mass of people of all shapes and sizes with a common purpose!
Running near my home however - small rural village - I still feel quite restricted for fear of the awkwardness of having to run past dog walkers and then pass them again on my 'there-and'back' route or bump into someone in the supermarket who says they saw me out running. So....my new-found method of dealing with this is to switch into being an ambassador for C25K and wax lyrical about how much I've enjoyed the programme and its benefits.... then I find myself smiling and nodding enthusiastically and feeling absurdly pleased at the possibility of encouraging a new recruit!
Hey ho... sun still shining brightly so should be safe enough to run ice-free. Decision-making not one of my strong points but have been in running gear since 8.30 so the time has come to find Laura and get a move on. No further prevarication....