(Saturday) All staff report to Commander's tent.
We have an emergency alert in detention block ... - Couch to 5K
We have an emergency alert in detention block AA-23.
dozzer19Graduate
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dozzer19
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TreemouseGraduate
Not the...not the The Beast! *trembles
Oh Treemouse, it's worse than that.
Worse than that! Crikey, do you have a backup plan? Do you want me to bring reinforcements?
Amongst others we need Han, Westly, Fezzik, Theoden, Miracle Max, Inigo Montoya, Aragorn and the whole left flank of the Rohirrim. Please.
Yes Sir! I know the location of Aragorn, he was on the couch with us last night, hence the mess, Sir. I will set off with him at once at round up the others. Fezzik's size will give us the advantage. I will report back ASAP.
No space for me but space for Aragorn who needs a cut and blow dry. Or is that why you had the foam rollers out.
Sorry Sir! We were practising manoeuvres and discussing tactics. The foam rollers...the foam rollers have got me into trouble, Sir.
You're right, they have.
I am on my way now to get those reinforcements and redeem myself. I will not rest until I have delivered Han, Westley and the others to your command.
You are too late they've already left for Newquay to do some foam rolling.
No, that was a plan to foil the enemy.
Everyone, is Treemouse sufficiently reliable to give a rank?
I have supported all of your personnel on various campaigns and come highly recommended. My sniping skills are second to none and I can lob a teabag in the bin from a distance of twenty feet.
Would that be physical or verbal sniping? The teabag ability will be very useful to the cause.
Physical obviously. I can beat anyone to last minute bargain on eBay and pretty good with a rifle to boot.
She's pretty good with the Shake an Vac and her Pledge-spraying skills are legendary!
Captain Waletta, do you vote yay or nay?
Oh! Am I late? Really bad head. I don't think it had anything to do with last night's coach party. Not sure what I'm supposed to be voting on yet. I'll keep reading & get back to you.
I was told it was a couch party not a coach one. Where did you go?
Stop picking on me. I told you I have a headache. It was a couch party, complete with malteasers (probably the reason for the bad head). Still can't follow this thread but I'm up for whatever the troops vote for.
Thank you AM. I am a stickler for doing the Shake 'n Vac wiggle at the same time; it is the only way to put the freshness back.
Running66Graduate
Think it's more a case of what you know! Is the Commander's tent next to the latrine?
TreemouseGraduate
Not just purple...multicoloured with knobbly bits!
Im confused!!
Running66Graduate
Confused! So am I. Thought this was a running forum. Lol
spoonierunningGraduate
Good morning what's up?
What's up? Prisoner Zero has escaped and the Pink Czar has legged it with him.
No one spotted on my skirmish this morning. Have they been caught yet? Was it an inside job? Do we have a spy amongst the ranks?
Unless MarkyD is an enemy stooge we have no spies. Resting up for 9/1 tomorrow! Aargh!
9/1 eh! You can do it Sir! Auntie Nellie, you know her, from Back Inkerman Street, she said she saw it in the tea leaves. She said you're going to nail it - or was that you'rer going to fail it? No, it was definitely nail it. She saw a hammer and some tin tacks. Course she might have been hinting that she wanted you to fix her stair rods 
Tah! Aragorn and his fancy hair-do can sort those out. I'll take Inigo and Eowyn instead.
AncientMumGraduate
Morning Sir. Managed to drag myself off the injury couch. Gonna have to go back in a minute and mop up all the split Dandelion and Burdock and crumbs. Things got a bit messy when the talk got round to foam rollers! Who's escaped and did they pinch the tartan trolley?
Zero and the Czar legged it in the night. I'm off down B&Q and Jessops for equipment to fool the latter. Zero being out is good news though.
PS Foam rollers? What strange parties you have.
Hey Dozzer, consult the one-time pad we shared. "Foam Roller" is just a codename. It's in the chapter Weapons of Mass Distraction.
Ah, yes, I can imagine the troops on the injury couch being seriously distracted. They need to get back to the matter in hand. Never mind hair styles. They've graduated. They don't see matters in quite the same way. How close to enemy lines are you?
Ssh, don't let on. I'm 500yds _behind_ enemy lines on covert manoeuvres. Putting my famous stealth to good use. KK007 and I are going to massacar (ha!) the Orcs.
Sorry about that AM, KK was making me laugh and we spilled our D&B. I have removed the walnut whip smudges off the table and hoovered up the crumbs 
Cheers Treemouse. Thought someone had been round with the Shake an' Vac and the Pledge . I'll just pop the anti-macassars in for a quick wash and no one will be any the wiser
"Inspection by High Command" should save the escape kit from confiscation.
Yes, I think I may have the right range of cards to leg it out of the window near the staff car, up the steps, along the narrow corridor, over the wall, across the river and to safety on the other bank. Auf wiedersehen, Herr Kommandant!
Steady on Sir, you don't wanna put your leg out of the window!!
How to escape without exiting the window?
dozzer19Graduate
Oh yes!
dozzer19Graduate
What on earth is an HRM?
dozzer19Graduate
Enough of the toilet humour kk
dozzer19Graduate
Ah. Personally if it was a spot I had to get out of because it was beyond even my superpowers I'd go for the Jag F-type coupe.
dozzer19Graduate
We live and learn. Scary Granny through Fanghorn Forest has a good display.
Didn't they used to play in the Second Division?
In the days before the Premiership.
dozzer19Graduate
Good tactic NCO KittyKat007, MarkyD seems to know his stuff. Maybe we should give him a rank?
spoonierunningGraduate
My great aunt used to have them on the chairs
So did mine!
Mmm. To stop grandad's brylcream getting on the sofa.
Running66Graduate
I think we must all be distantly related 'cos I had a a Great Auntie Mcassar too! When she came to see us she used to lie on the back of the armchair, and refuse to move, which created some difficulty 'cos Grandfather would want to sit on the chair as well.
Lol
walettaGraduate
I do mascara.
dozzer19Graduate
Thank you for your good wishes NCO KittyKat007. They are obviously sincere, not remotely with a view to promotion.
dozzer19Graduate
I hope you're not suggesting an Ace Ventura.
AncientMumGraduate
I'm not washing those antimacassars again, so don't go getting 'product' on them
poppypugGraduate
Hey Dozz ! Look what Ive got ! You know what this means don't you ? xxx
dozzer19Graduate
Yes, that sounds suitably noble, doesn't it. No touch of smugness.
poppypugGraduate
Just posting on here, as I have never seen a thread before with 100 replies ! Ah, the Mighty Power of The Dozz
Dozz, I am retiring for the evening, Goodnight my friend, Goodnight All, see you all tomorrow xxx
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