Ok I wouldn't normally do this but that picture is out in public domain anyway, I could ask them to remove it but I won't because if it inspires just one person to say you know what after seeing that lady i think I can do it to, then it's done a good job.
I am fat I don't deny that. I have low confidence and some serious issues about the way I look. I was bullied, I was even bullied by a person who should never have treated me that way, but he didn't understand it was bullying, it was the way he had been brought up.
We all come to this plan for different reasons but weight seems to be a popular, with a common theme of I don't want people to see me. I can't possibly wear proper running gear I will look awful.
Ok so weight wasn't my reason for starting but I won't lie if I drop a dress size or three I wouldn't complain, but I also have to be realisitic, I have a medical condition that makes weight loss very very hard. But the excess weight certainly was a barrier - people would see me. A big fat heifer puffing along looking stupid. Who was I kidding. I just shouldn't bother.
Well let me tell you, other people won't care and yep there is no hiding in the Lycra but it's a lot more comfortable.
I started out hiding, joggers, hoodie, early mornings. But then I started to get a little more confident, I'm large but I am not sitting on my arse.
I am not totally anti my body and I firmly believe you should look at yourself and change the negative into positive, even if you can only do that for one part of your body.
So for me, I always used to love my legs (the bit below knees only) I always had strong calf muscles but they'd gone flabby, well now they are back to being shapely and strong, sure they are big and I can rarely find knee length boots to fit but they are pure muscle baby.
I also love my boobs, I have fab boobs, they are double f cup bouncing beauties. I can use them to deflect attention away from my big belly, I can rest my iPad on them, I can stuff all maner of things down my bra, I mean what's not to love
The bits I really really hate are my 'spare' tyre, big flabby belly and the tops of my arms 'bingo wings'.
And yet I can still run, being fat hasn't made it impossible. I am happy running along my local towpath in Lycra clad glory, I am happy for people to see me, runners, dog walkers, fishermen and even the wildlife - none have run screaming (ok there was the mean man, one person who doesn't deserve my time).
And yet still I struggle. I went to my first park run yesterday. I was nervous about finding it, I was nervous about finding the start and doing the end right, I knew I could do the run and I was prepared and happy to be at the end. I wasn't worried about my appearance until a drew near and I could suddenly see Iots of skiny people. Then doubt crept in and I wanted to turn the car round and go home. But I opened that door and took one step and then another and then another. Selfconscious and feeling like a fraud. I am too fat. But then I saw my friend and we walked to the start together, then I met new people. No one passed out, no one was mean, no one gave me disgusted looks. I was the biggest person there but I soon forgot about my wobbly bits.
We are humans and come in all shapes and sizes.
Everyone of you here to lose weight and shape up that will happen, but it won't happen overnight in the mean time even if you can't totally love everything about your body pick one bit that is isn't so bad and recognise that, in time more 'good' bits will be added. Also be proud that your body is getting you moving and running, it doesn't matter if you are on week one or a graduate give yourself that pat on the back.
And to anyone not yet started because they think they are too fat - you are not. Take that first step and know that you are about to embark on a very powerful and rewarding journey. It won't cure your negative body image over night and maybe not ever, but that body is the only one you've got and it's amazing.
Written by
spoonierunning
Graduate
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That is a great post Spoonie, so inspirational! Well done for your first Parkrun, its like the C25K I reckon, once that first run is done there is no stopping us! Enjoy your running, you look so happy in your picture, fantastic! x
What a beautiful and truly inspiring post. Absolutely awesome!!
I feel humbled and am sure others will too.
Many, many congratulations and so very well done you - I admire you very, very much.
Superb and smashing post - long may you continue to run and write on here!!
You'll be pleased to know your picture has not put me off my food and I was eating at the time of reading this post I'm on the line between overweight and obese on the bmi scale, I know getting down to 8 1/2 stone would be impossible for me and my figure type but if I could get down 1 dress size to a 14 I'd be mighty happy. I do think my attitude to my body has got better as the weeks have gone on. I may have gained 3lb but I've toned and I think I look better for it. Here's to loving our bodies a little more, you're right it's the only one we've got so let's make the best of it! Oh and Lycra is so much more comfortable than baggy tshirts
What a fab post, nearly brought me to tears in fact as it sounds like me at times when I can feel a bit lost...I know I can turn to this post for inspiration to spur me on. I've lost some weight but still have some to lose so I am not still confident in my body yet. Thank you for putting a lovely post on here to keep us going.
Wow, you are amazing. I am trying to find the confidence to get started on running......but like you say, I just need to take that first step. Thank you for the inspiration. Keep up the good work.
Go Spoonie! What a great post; thank you so much for sharing. That's a grand photograph and you really are clearly enjoying your run! Sod what others think; in the wise words of Gustave H, famed concierge of The Grand Budapest Hotel: "rudeness is merely expression of fear....." You're out there running, improving your fitness, and enjoying it too, so to hell with what anyone else thinks and if they're negative then what do they matter anyway? A person can change their weight; most with a negative attitude of naysayery are stuck with it, so onward you must run, always, and thanks again for an inspirational post!
Of course you struggle, Spoonie; don't we all? I suppose, as our stamina builds, it does get a bit.... 'less difficult' I suppose but I imagine even those here with much more running experience than your fine self, or me, still struggle at times. It's not easy, as if it were, everyone would do it! I ran two lots of eight minutes earlier (I'll expand in a thread in a bit) and the return leg of just over eight minutes was a bit of a killer, so it's not just you who struggles, I promise!
As you say, you are out there running and not sat on your arse. I truly believe we should not be hung up on how we look to define who we are and our value in life. However, if by running for yourself to get fitter and maybe lose a few pounds, that's great, but it should not be your focus. Challenge yourself and gloat in the glory of knowing that you have done something that a few months ago would not have been possible. How many people out there have been bothered to do the same?
totally awesome post. What I see in that picture is a runner who likes what she's doing, and that's what most of the world will see too. We are always our own harshest critics, and I am sure this post will help some people who are nervous to get stuck in to take the first step
Woo hoo. Look at you.. So happy and relaxed looking, but so strong. What an inspiration. I love your positivity and enjoyment. Thanks for the fabulous post. Happy running to you x<3
The biggest part of you girl is your heart and smile. You are a star, well done on your first Parkrun and good luck for many more. you are a true inspiration of what C25K is all about, its not designed for athletes its for people who want to get healthier and fitter, I hope many follow your wonderful example.
Great post. What matters is that you are happy with things - your body, your fitness, your whole life! What other people think really doesn't matter! Keep doing what makes you happy
Many (or probably most these days) are on a downward spiral weightwise. The more they weigh , the less activity they do - the less activity they do, the more weight they put on.
But WE are on an upward spiral. The more weight we lose, the less weight we have to physically carry - the less weight we have to carry , the faster/longer we can run , the faster/longer we can run, the more weight we lose
Parkrun is a unique organisation - I can't say that I have ever come across another like it with the positive attitude everybody has there. For those still sitting on the fence regarding parkrun - please take Spoonies example and run with it.
Thank you for one of the most life affirming posts I've ever read. You are a true inspiration. You're right - start enjoying each moment and revel in what we have achieved with our wonderfully imperfect bodies!
Happy Running!!
That picture is not going to put anyone off their dinner. You're doing great !! Shame we can't see your calves....
I wish I was able to smile like that when running!
You have inspired me... I'm going to attempt my first Parkrun on Saturday. It will be a walk hobble jog affair and I will finish an hour after everyone else... But I'm doing it. Thank you!
Hi Spoonie, inspirational. You are the one who got out running, you are the one who has Graduated, you are the one who's completed a park run. As you said, we come in different shapes and sizes and you have made some pretty serious accomplishments in the last few months. Fantastic, and keep posting... you are very motivational.
Excellent post! Having watched the Plymouth half marathon recently I can affirm that runners come in all shapes and sizes and being bigger or older did not mean that the participants didn't manage to complete it. Even walking it would have been beyond many skinny non-participants so huge plaudits to them and to you for sharing your thoughts and positive outlook.
My goodness, what a superb post! Thank you spoonierunning for giving us all such a delightful guide on how to just enjoy being yourself. Our world has become one of glossy, unrealistic images of 'perfection' which make many feel so demoralised and inadequate. It's what we are inside that counts.
I loved your post and wish you all the very best for the journey! And to all the newbies out there - this is one of the bonuses that comes with the programme - self worth!
If you keep running, you will lose the butt and spare tyre PDQ. You will also lose some of your best assets along the way, which you might not like quite so much. It goes with the territory though. I suppose if you didn't lose weight equally, all over your body, you'd be top heavy and fall over. LOL
Over the course of a couple of years I have dropped a dress size or should that be top and bottom size as they are different (and amazingly lost 1/2 a stone. I don't diet I never will I try to eat healthy but I don't beat myself up if I have a take away or when I have a jar of Nutella and a spoon ) I have already had the trauma of a new bra fitting but it wasn't so bad 38f to 36ff.
I am on new medication so hoping that might have a positive effect if not I will restart myfitnesspal pal and log everything and next time a snotty (overweight) doctor tells me to lose weight I will ask how (actually my preferred doctor is brilliant and gets that it's not an easy fix for me).
if I was top heavy and happened to fall over wouldn't I have something soft to land on?
Great post Spoonie. You're a runner. Nuff said. Size don't matter. You're a runner. You're faster than anyone on the couch because........you're a runner. Go Girl. Be proud.
Go you!! That's brought a big smile to my face and the world is a better place. You're running, you're smiling and your head is in the right place to succeed. It's a lovely photo! Keep going and keep smiling!
What an amazing lady you are - and gorgeous, if I may say so! xx
I am so glad I saw this post, it's inspirational, as are you! I think you look absolutely great in the photo and that's without seeing those gorgeous calves
Beautiful pic, and inspirational post. Thank you. And you're right: your boobs are fab!
You look absolutely fab, such a smile (and yes great boobs).
I've always been curvy, but am larger that I've ever been, I'm on week 4 and have yet to run after 6am incase anyone sees me wobbling, puffing and red faced, doing a very slow jog. But you are right why should I hide at least I am out there trying.
I've always hated my legs, they are too short and flabby, but like you I have great boobs, and I'm told a sexy bottom! After reading your post I have promised myself some Lycra running gear once I compete week5!
If you keep running Spoons the weight will drop off. Come back here in six months time with another photo. I had the biggest bum in the village but now I've not got one at all. It's gawn and disappeared.
What a beautiful picture. I got half way down the responses & had to go back up to take another look. It's so full of lovely exuberance. Thank you it is so inspiring.
Just spotted this! You go girl! I'm proud of you! You say you have confidence issues but you sure are smacking them on the head and getting out there. I have one negative comment though. You made no mention of how lovely your smile is! If you are counting positives, don't forget that one x
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