Ok I wouldn't normally do this but that picture is out in public domain anyway, I could ask them to remove it but I won't because if it inspires just one person to say you know what after seeing that lady i think I can do it to, then it's done a good job.
I am fat I don't deny that. I have low confidence and some serious issues about the way I look. I was bullied, I was even bullied by a person who should never have treated me that way, but he didn't understand it was bullying, it was the way he had been brought up.
We all come to this plan for different reasons but weight seems to be a popular, with a common theme of I don't want people to see me. I can't possibly wear proper running gear I will look awful.
Ok so weight wasn't my reason for starting but I won't lie if I drop a dress size or three I wouldn't complain, but I also have to be realisitic, I have a medical condition that makes weight loss very very hard. But the excess weight certainly was a barrier - people would see me. A big fat heifer puffing along looking stupid. Who was I kidding. I just shouldn't bother.
Well let me tell you, other people won't care and yep there is no hiding in the Lycra but it's a lot more comfortable.
I started out hiding, joggers, hoodie, early mornings. But then I started to get a little more confident, I'm large but I am not sitting on my arse.
I am not totally anti my body and I firmly believe you should look at yourself and change the negative into positive, even if you can only do that for one part of your body.
So for me, I always used to love my legs (the bit below knees only) I always had strong calf muscles but they'd gone flabby, well now they are back to being shapely and strong, sure they are big and I can rarely find knee length boots to fit but they are pure muscle baby.
I also love my boobs, I have fab boobs, they are double f cup bouncing beauties. I can use them to deflect attention away from my big belly, I can rest my iPad on them, I can stuff all maner of things down my bra, I mean what's not to love
The bits I really really hate are my 'spare' tyre, big flabby belly and the tops of my arms 'bingo wings'.
And yet I can still run, being fat hasn't made it impossible. I am happy running along my local towpath in Lycra clad glory, I am happy for people to see me, runners, dog walkers, fishermen and even the wildlife - none have run screaming (ok there was the mean man, one person who doesn't deserve my time).
And yet still I struggle. I went to my first park run yesterday. I was nervous about finding it, I was nervous about finding the start and doing the end right, I knew I could do the run and I was prepared and happy to be at the end. I wasn't worried about my appearance until a drew near and I could suddenly see Iots of skiny people. Then doubt crept in and I wanted to turn the car round and go home. But I opened that door and took one step and then another and then another. Selfconscious and feeling like a fraud. I am too fat. But then I saw my friend and we walked to the start together, then I met new people. No one passed out, no one was mean, no one gave me disgusted looks. I was the biggest person there but I soon forgot about my wobbly bits.
We are humans and come in all shapes and sizes.
Everyone of you here to lose weight and shape up that will happen, but it won't happen overnight in the mean time even if you can't totally love everything about your body pick one bit that is isn't so bad and recognise that, in time more 'good' bits will be added. Also be proud that your body is getting you moving and running, it doesn't matter if you are on week one or a graduate give yourself that pat on the back.
And to anyone not yet started because they think they are too fat - you are not. Take that first step and know that you are about to embark on a very powerful and rewarding journey. It won't cure your negative body image over night and maybe not ever, but that body is the only one you've got and it's amazing.