Although I am well I have not had the feeling of wellness since I was first diagnosised with CLL (I went to my Dr because of not feeeling well, had a blood test which came back with CLL). Unlike many people with CLL it affects my daily life. I can only do certain things if I pace myself (I'm 56 so old age isn't an excuse). I don't feel depressed, I don't want a happy pill but a get well pill that gives me back a feeling of wellbeing. I have a great zest for life, I am a glass half full person who wants to go out and enjoy life but is handicapped by what I can realistically do. I feel much happier what I have managed to do something I enjoy but pay for it by being tired for the next few days. Stress very much effects my CLL. When I think that at one time I had a full time job, three children and a large house to run and I just managed. Now I find I cannot take on too much. I don't want to come across as self pitying as I still give thanks for the life I have. I know that I have much to be grateful for. Health and happiness are priceless.