Covid

[Stavrou1]

Hi all I have a dilemma facing me . As you know , I have had covid in the last few weeks and still getting over it . My sons girlfriend is having a party with about 90 people ! . My son is going to propose, which we couldn't be more happier. She had no idea . I have not said for sure I will go, they are very understanding and no pressure at all . They have suggested if I did go , they can do a 3 meter section for me . Wear mask ect. But means I will be Larry loner 😆. Won't be able to mingle . I would only go for about a hour, as suffer fatigue badly . But it's still risky . Do I really need to ask thoughts when really I shouldn't go ! . Or am I bonkers!!

[GMa27]

You obviously got thru COVID... hopefully you don't get it again. Go and enjoy. And why can't u mingle ? That is the purpose of a mask. Just don't hug and if u eat, go to your private area & enjoy some food. Curious ...90 people- what kind of party does his girlfriend think it will be? That is the size of some weddings.

My husband died last year 3 weeks after finding out he had Pancreatic cancer. No symptoms! It was devastating . Go and enjoy ur family!

[Stavrou1 in reply to GMa27]

Thank you for your reply , has really helped to put things in to prospective!.I am so sorry and sad to hear the loss of your husband in such a short time !! 🥲 And the devastation of impact it's had !! . . Life is so cruel! . I hope your doing ok !! .

It's a 30th party , i doubt very much they will all come turn up . Please take care . X

[GMa27 in reply to Stavrou1]

Thank you ...it has totally changed my life ...it is devastating. Heartbreaking. I make different decisions now. New choices....

I hope ur able to go & all be safe & healthy!!

[TruthJunkie in reply to Stavrou1]

Someone could always video record the occasion, and it would be there for all in the future. Do you wear N95 masks when you go out? (Or, whatever the equivalent is, where you are)? Best wishes. Our lives are very limited now, I agree.

[Nucleusman in reply to Stavrou1]

have you been given antivirals? most important I wouldn’t go don’t risk further complications. maybe make a video wishing them love, all the best??

[KatieBlue in reply to GMa27]

She states she is still getting over it. So no, she shouldn’t go out and potentially spread it to more people— some of whom could die from it air become disabled from it— as well as to potentially help in the spread and creation of new variants. Masks are helpful but they aren’t 100%.

By the way, Stavrou1, because there is so much misinformation out there, let me just clarify that covid (aka SARS2) is airborne. It can linger in the air for hours, moves like cigarette smoke through the air, and transmit in a matter of seconds. A 3 meter section does very little with regards to protecting others from rebreathing your exhalations unless there’s a BSL3 hood included over you. It’s akin to having a smoking section next to a non-smoking section and expecting those in the non-smoking section to not be exposed to smoke.

[Kvb-texas]

It’s a very personal decision… but I’d definitely go if it were me. I have had Covid 3 times… each time I’ve had natural immunity for 7-9 months … not getting it even when in contact with others that are positive. And that’s without getting any boosters. Plus, for me personally… it got milder each time. I wish you well. And if you go, hope you have a great time!

[Stavrou1 in reply to Kvb-texas]

Hi Kvb Your reply has also been helpful 😊. Thank you . I shall go , it will eat me up if I didn't.

[Kvb-texas in reply to Stavrou1]

I think you’ll be glad you did. My daughter had planned a wedding (months earlier) for June of 2020… right in the middle of Covid. She went through with it and we had the best time ever. These big events don’t happen often… those will be great memories. You should see the wedding photos of hair when you couldn’t go to a hairdresser😀. You gotta continue to live life and have these experiences… otherwise what’s the point? I decided I wasn’t going to let CLL stop me from participating. Life’s a risk. I wish you well! Have a ball!

[MisfitK]

I would go...I would be a very early arrival (aka, on time or even 5 minutes early vs fashionably late) and a very early departure (aka, after the proposal and congrats, I'd wave goodbye). That way, if there's significant drinking (and I expect there will be), you miss the part when people start getting much worse about their social niceties and germ dispersal. If you catch my drift...

[Stavrou1 in reply to MisfitK]

Thank you for your reply and congratulations. And for a valid point about people social behaviour, especially if there is drink involved .I get your drift .. ..

[Thundercat2]

Stavrou I totally understand your angst. It's always a hard decision. I remember asking these questions before Covid hit! At least now you can wear a mask without standing out too much. That at least has been a welcome change with the pandemic.

It's still hard to be the one who is "different" but I think I would still go so you can be a "part of." You can make your appearance safely, leave when you want to and feel good about at least being there.

Wishing you well

Tcat

[Stavrou1 in reply to Thundercat2]

Thank you Thundercat 2. Anouther encouraging reply . And your right. I can dip in and out if need to.. I won't manage the whole evening as my M.E has flared up since covid ..it's rubbish.. as long , i can be there for the big moment , It will be enough to keep me smiling .

[PoisonDwarf]

Hi Stavrou1,

Congratulations to your son, his girlfriend and all the family!

It can only be your decision, for me though, I think family milestones like this are a cause for celebration and I would regret not going more.

You can wear a high grade mask & as it's your son, you will know in advance exactly when he'll pop the question so you can time your presence making certain that you get to witness the proposal. How long after you stay is then entirely up to you.

Go and make some more wonderful family memories!

[Stavrou1 in reply to PoisonDwarf]

Thank you Poison, we have waited a long time for this wonderful moment ... he is my only child , well grown man now ... 3 years ago when i was first diagnosed, i thought , i wouldn't live to see the day! . You see your life just flash by !! I really didn't have any knowledge. Still learning . I will be looking to purchasing a high grade mask .....😊

[TruthJunkie in reply to Stavrou1]

One major key to this situation is the fact that this is your only child. Please DO find a very safe mask. Remember, it is your decision to make, ultimately. Not ours. All best.

[Stavrou1]

Thank you Jammin . She is a cracking girl , like a daughter i never had , and would of wanted.Looks like I have been beating my self up over this .... but so glad I shared my fears with you all.

They have arranged to take me to see the venue on Wednesday....think will help to plan some distance , that I can control .

[Jiangnanreninusa]

When my daughter' boyfriend arranged the surprise engagement party July 2023, I was in the middle of my gazyva infusion. I never dare to go anywhere without mask before that day , but I decided to attend it without a mask. A nice party about 25 people and I was very happy I took the risk without catching any virus.

[Stavrou1 in reply to Jiangnanreninusa]

Thank you for your reply , you were brave attending with out a mask !! . But I am glad you were OK!! ... 😊

[stevesmith1964]

Go for it , join in and enjoy life. I have been in remission for just over 2 years, on twice daily alcalibrutinib, antivirals and antibiotics, plus monthly IVIG in the winter plus GCSF in my fridge if my platelets drop. I am 60 next week and live a full open normal life as a full time dad to my 6 and 4 Yr olds.... life is to short enjoy those moments ...

[Stavrou1 in reply to stevesmith1964]

Hi Steve , bless you . And thank you for the advice . Decided to go all being well . I need to make sure she says yes and takes him off my hands😅 . Great to hear you are in remission , but your still having to take daily meds !!! . And living a normal life . You sound like a super dad, young at heart . 😊 . Have a great birth🍾🍺day .

[stevesmith1964 in reply to Stavrou1]

Many thanks.But I will always have to take daily medication. The irony of my situation is that I worked in the blood cancer field for 10 yrs, my wife was virtually an expert in the diagnosis of myeloma, and I still got to stage 4.. without either of us noticing. Thankfully I have always had a positive out look on life.... "it's better to burn out than fade away"... Highlander Move line or Def Leppard lylic "... or remember Steve Tyler line " the light at the end of the tunnel might me you".. keep safe ... live long and prosper

[Sepsur]

I’ve had all my boosters - I do pick up infection from time to time - this ‘100 day’ cough for instance. I caught it at work - the last of everyone else - wore a mask most of the time, stayed away from anyone mostly. I can’t live in a bubble ( & choose not to do so).

Personally I would go - although I would dread 90 people - just for being 90 people 🤣🤣

[Stavrou1 in reply to Sepsur]

Hi Sepsur thank you for your reply , I also to pick up anything going , I only finished treatment 2 months ago ... i have so far 2 infections and covid , whilst i was on treatment , i didn't have any !! I have any. I am now over 30 days of Coughing daily , but now not all the time. Yes 90 people 😱 is is a lot . I won't be hanging around for the whole evening . I will have a good mask and sanitiser with me . 🤞.

[Quarry]

I would go. Even if you are a Larry Loner, you will at least have a brilliant memory for life! ....assuming she says 'yes' that is!

Good luck

[Stavrou1 in reply to Quarry]

Thanks Quarry, of course the memory is priceless .... she will definitely say yes, once she has got over the shock !!! .

[ChristyAnne_UK]

Sorry to hear you’ve been poorly. What a tough choice to face! Much respect to you for taking the trouble to weigh it so carefully.

Everyone is responsible for their own risk. Trouble is, the nature if the beast is that we carry responsibility for others, too, but that’s a personal moral choice.

If you are still testing positive, it makes the choice clearer, at least. But it’s still a choice, and if you are only in the presence of others whilst wearing a well-fitted N95 or better, you’ll be taking (and posing) no more risk than you would in, say, a hospital waiting room.

Don’t know what the ‘R’ rate is in your area, but with 90 people, my guess is you’ll have several people there who are at some stage of the virus, whether or not they know it, so regardless of your choices, Rona will be on the guest list, anyway, and it’s up to other people to factor/mitigate their own risks, hopefully bearing in mind their own vulnerable contacts.

What I’m trying to say is.. go, but go wisely, don’t take off your mask.. not even for photos.. and have an amazing time!

P.S. Don’t forget the value of room ventilation and HEPA filters! If you have a CO2 monitor, it will give you some idea of the level of ‘atmosphere’ in situ!

[Stavrou1 in reply to ChristyAnne_UK]

Good morning , thank you for your reply . Sorry just replying . Appreciate every ones comments... I do fall ill quite quickly , and generally pick up anything going . Since CLL terrifies me , and after a years treatment and now stable , our immune system is low. I have now ordered the N-95 mask . I have been wearing the nhs type , and generally when out or seeing anyone I continue to wear mask. As much as I am fed up with them... I will look in to CO2 monitor, thank you . 😊

[Feavers]

Definitely go, that is a hopefully a one in a lifetime event, don't let cll make you miss out

[Stavrou1 in reply to Feavers]

Thank you kindly Feavers , yes hope so once in a life time fingers 🤞. Will be going . Have now seen the venue , and sorted out best place for me .

[Rogerinhorn2015]

Simple! Negative COVID test. Hopefully you have antibodies & some immunity. Mask if you must for others but enjoy your life in moderate caution before it is gone. All the best health to you and the joy you get from your special family event. Check with your Doc & team for support in your decision. I was just in your situation & yes, always an element of fear. Take Care!

[Stavrou1 in reply to Rogerinhorn2015]

Hi Rogerinhorne thank you for your reply , a good idea to test for antibodies 😊thank you . I haven't yet been able to speak with Haematologist, I emailed them on Wed .... I have a telephone consultation with Gp next week i will raise this to him. . ... I was given advice when i finished treatment end of November, was to avoid large gatherings !!!! .And to try enjoy life , just be sensible ... continue with 😷 .

[lexie]

What are your doctors recommending you do?

[Stavrou1 in reply to lexie]

Hi Lexi thank you for your reply. When i completed my treatment end of Nov . Was told to avoid large gatherings ,as our immune system is low . Also to enjoy life sensibly and continue wearing mask around people indoors .

[skipro]

tough dilemma

I think if you let them all know and they are okay with it

I’d wear a well fitting N-95 and go

I think it will be so therapeutic for your fatigue and heart

If you are coughing maybe add a face shield

[Fran57]

I think that wearing a mask will make you feel better and therefore allow you to enjoy the experience.

Congratulations to your son… I know what you mean about time rushing by…. I’m sure I only recently dropped my two off at school and now they are taking their own children to school!! 🤷‍♀️

Have a great time,

Fran 😉

[Stavrou1 in reply to Fran57]

Hi Fran thank you for your reply and for congratulations, I am really excited , best news in years . Constant battle with different illness than CLL. Has made me stronger !! It's a great saying they grow up fast, scary!! . I am not sure yet if I will mingle which is going to be awkward not too . I am not that brave enough at moment, as am still not well . But will happily chat in the garden area for a bit . 😀

[OWLS26]

I would definitely go, I went to my daughter’s wedding in October and had a great time without any issues and without masks etc. Maybe I was lucky but you have to live your life.

[Stavrou1 in reply to OWLS26]

Thank you OWL. That's very encouraging , and great to hear you were fine !!. Congratulations to you . 😊

[GMa27]

When is the party? Update & let us know how it went!