Diagnosed may 2014, and treated for swollen painful lymph nodes March 2018. Took Ibrutinib for 9 months, and been off ibrutinib for 6 months. Just turned 61. Divorced the uncaring, non-contributing toxic wife, finalized June 2019.
I have a friend, she is 39 pre-menopause and a big part of her wants a child.
We want to know if I can contribute my blue eye genes to a baby.
Written by
tomcelic
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Well done for divorcing your uncaring wife, that was a big decision too.
I can’t give you any advice but I applaud your ambition. The Janssen information on Ibrutinib says not to father a child whilst on Ibrutinib and for 3 months afterwards.
Have you asked yourself if YOU want a baby with all the responsibilities and commitments that would bring.
Ibrutinib thinned my blood. I was bleeding all the time. My body bruised with every little bump. My skin thinned. Frequent diarrhea. Each Day I felt like I was getting sicker. Since Stopping Ibrutinib I feel much more alive. Ibrutinib spawned Melanoma skin Cancer, they cut out a patch of skin 30cm x 10cm from my back. Dozens of basal cell carcinoma. Also my heart flutter has stopped after stopping the ibrutinib. I've been off Ibrutinib 6 months and I feel great.
I’m uncertain about the health of your sperm after Ibrutinib and CLL but I have read that older fathers’ offspring can have various health issues and that is without CLL. I appreciate you want to help your friend but I think you need to ask yourself who would father your child if you weren’t around? Let’s face it, us CLLers have shortened life expectancies and you are already 61. Kids need fathers who are around and committed.
I don’t know your specific health issues but yes if it were me, I would think long and hard about who would raise my child if I weren’t around before having a child. I believe that is simply being responsible.
I don't think you should be telling people to not have kids. That is not good advice. Just because someone has CLL dose not mean that they should just never have children. If their doctor said to not have kids then they should listen to their doctor. CLL dose not mean your gonna die for sure in the near future. Your giving people a sense of doom and i don't think that is right.
I wasn’t telling you what to do. Rather, I was explaining how I’d think about the situation if I was in your shoes. Having children is an awesome gift. The best thing I’ve ever done. However, with children comes a tremendous responsibility. I wish you all the best whatever you do.
You can get your sperm tested to see if it’s OK. This is what it says in the brochure: Men should be advised not to father a child while receiving IMBRUVICA, and for 3 months following completion of treatment.
Let’s say you wait until the required months until the treatment is over and you still want to have a child.
Your girlfriend is almost completely out of time to have her first baby. When you read about female movie stars who are 48 having twins....those are donor eggs. At 40 for a human female, you have less follicles (eggs), less of the necessary hormones (progesterone) and an increased risk of genetic abnormalities (Trisomy 21) in the fetus.
CLL may have genetic component. You may be transmitting that, as well as, the gene for “blue eyes”.
Has she considered donor sperm? (if your belief systems does not preclude the two of you from that option). You could take her to a fertility clinic and she can get artificial insemination from a male donor with your physical features (blue eyes etc).
Adoption is another option for couples, but your ages are at the far end of that scale that some countries will allow, as well as, your status as a “new” unmarried couple may preclude you from being an ideal couple to do an adoption.
You will be almost 80 when the baby graduates high school. Have you considered this plus your financial obligation especially with a disease like CLL that keeps throwing you curve balls? A divorce when a child is involved is even harder and stickier sometimes and can become even more “toxic” when children are involved.
If I were in your shoes, it may be easier to take her to a fertility clinic and just do artificial insemination (you could help her pay for it). She could commit to being a single Mom which would not tie you into any obligation that you may not be willing or able to make at this time especially after such a recent divorce.
Best of luck and I wish I could have been of more help to you and your friend,
I think that you and your girlfriend need to speak to a specialist about the risks of birth defects, not a collection of well meaning friends. I would suggest that you might also consider speaking to a good counselor who can work through all of the considerations involved with the two of you.
My doctor said i can have a child. So if you want to have a child you should be fine. However ask your doctor to be sure. He never said anything about CLL effecting my sperm. But do check with your doctor.
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