One of the hardest chats about my medical condition will be with my three grandkids. They know that Grandad is ill and can’t do everything he used to do with them and that he really appreciates help when they are about.
So I have been given two booklets that start from - “Grandad is not well” to “where he has gone”.
These booklets gently give so many ideas’ to help break the news to their young sensitive minds:-
Saying Goodbye by Clare Selley & Deborah Butler
A child’s Grief - Winston Wish Charity.
I was given my copies by MacMillian Nurses but I’m sure other sources / websites can help!
Marty
“the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our trials.”—2 Corinthians 1:3, 4.
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MartyR
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Depends on their ages and how much you are in their lives. Obviously older kids will understand more and the younger will just know you have a illness. My disease is not theirs and I never want it to be theirs. I am not afraid of dying and never have been I know where I stand here and thereafter. I definitely do not want my burden to be theirs. They have a life to live. Some people want everyone to suffer and have pity with them. Nope!
I see people sitting in the IV chemo room with family members and grandkids for hours! What for? To watch the drops in the IV? To tell you, you're almost done. Tell your children and then let them handle their kids. If the grandkids have questions answer them otherwise let them live their happy go lucky life!
Marty, I bet you are a wonderful grandpa! Our grandkids are really young, but my heart aches knowing that is where you are now, having to tell them the hard truth. Thank you for sharing these books. I will continue praying for your family.🙏
You are preparing for this and I am sure when the time comes you will have the exact right words to say. I let my son and daughter decide when to tell our 4 grands, ages 6-12 at the time. I don’t know exactly what they told them, but the grands have been great about it. Their little personalities really come out when faced with serious information. The oldest one treats me almost normally but with a little bit more tenderness. Another asks me how I am feeling every time I see her. Another one kind of ignores it and the youngest one, once came up to me, put her arms around me and said, “Nana, I am sorry you have cancer. “ We thought cancer to be the better term because Leukemia is a term that kids relate more often to other children and death. Cancer, they see all the time in other adults.
It will be fine, and they will be fine. Unfortunately, no matter how much we try to shield our kids from unpleasant topics, they eventually find out about things. Better to hear their information from trusted adults.
My kids are all young (2, 4, 11 & 14) so I'm praying I'm around for grandkids. But telling my kids was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done.
My littlest obviously doesn't understand any of it. My 4 year old only knows mommy has a sickness but right now I'm okay. My 11 year old has always been the concerned one about everyone, she's always been very affectionate but now even more so. And my 14 year old is very quiet. He understands and I think he's scared. But I keep reassuring him that I'm okay right now.
It's hard. Im still learning about all of this, so I can't give them the answers that they want.
I never realized till ur words how grateful I am that I was dx at 52. I didn't have to worry about telling young children. My 4 granddkids were young but not until this past summer did they find out about my dx. Now they are 22, 20, 18, and 14. I had to start chemo. After their mom told them, I called them and reassured them that I was going to be fine. They live in another state. I always called them and chatted away about their activities and again would say I was doing ok. They didn't say much. I am sure they were nervous. Bit except for a visit by one grandchild on between chemos, they didn't have to see me on a daily basis like yours. But they will be fine. They are scared.
Maybe someone can chat with your 14 year old to see how he is coping. That is a difficult age. 💕
Carol I am praying that there will be a cure for you and you will live to see many grandchildren. In the meantime, I pray you can try to put this out of your mind as much as possible so you can enjoy your life with your little kids. I know that it is always there though.
Marty, thank you so much for your contributions to our community. This one will be helpful to many for many years. To receive your words and aid to us at this time in your life, is a precious gift. And it gives me hope for being able to have the same when the time comes.
Marty, you and your family our in my thoughts and prayers. It is not easy to share this with your grandkids. My heart hurts for you and your family. Thank you for sharing this information and thank you for sharing encouraging Bible scriptures.
Agape and philia
Gina
“May the God who gives hope fill you with joy and peace by your trusting in him, so that you may abound in hope with power of holy spirit.” Romans 15:13
I look forward to looking up those books Marty thanks. It was tough for me to tell my kids and siblings. Extra tough as we have several people we know that have leukemia and my teen has lost a classmate to the disease. Very tough. And then, before my diagnosis I was talking with and comforting my 5 yr old grandson after the loss of his beloved family dog. After a long pause my grandson says too me, “Grandma you’re not going to die are you?” Of course I responded, “Don’t worry, I’ll be around a long time. “Then of course two weeks later I get this CLL diagnosis. 🐶👩👦
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