Fingers crossed

[Nigel-Q]

Since posting last I have been back to the Churchill , cat scan was normal , nothing to report there , specialist was very laid back , doesn't want to see me again , referring me back to my GP for six monthly blood tests, increasing to annual after a year or so if nothing happens . In a letter sent to my GP , copied to me he states that in his opinion my Cll is very indolent and it is likely I will never need treatment , no guarantee , the levels have been very low and stable for two years , since first ' discovered ' ( I may have had it longer, who knows ) as I have said first I knew about it was this July , slipped through the net . I am encouraged by his letter , these guys don't spoof , with 17 years experience in his field I'll accept his opinion . So now I just forget it, if or until something goes wrong, but what a time I've had since July 10th , a date I will never forget ,obviously my next blood test will be a bit nerve wracking .i just feel very lucky , my next door neighbour , in her fifties has only weeks to live , and a good friend and fellow petrol head across the road had just been told he has less than a year to live with secondaries after fighting bowel cancer . Won't be posting again except with news , but will keep an eye on the site and chat from time to time , good luck every one . There'll be a cure one day, some clever people out there .

[cllady01 Former Volunteer]

Nigel-Q, Thank you for such good news! I understand your feelings, as I am one of those told they may never need treatment and it has been 16 years since diagnosis.

The other thing I understand that you did not state, but came to my mind as you posted about your neighbors' situations, is the wonder at "why me" and maybe a bit of survivor's guilt. My two brothers died with cancers while I have survived with no treatment, and now the next generation in my family is having cancer diagnoses that entail the harshest of treatments to, hopefully, cure or at least put in remission.

While it was a source of cautious relief for me to hear of my "promising" status, it was also a source eye-opening awareness of the realities of those around us as they struggle with dire circumstances.

Keeping myself in good health as much as possible through diet, walking, getting out each day for some human contact, has made me a better neighbor in the 55+ community in which I live. I am younger at 76 than the majority of my neighbors. I put thrown daily newspapers on door knobs so elderly ladies don't have to shuffle out in their slippers and bend over (falls happen from that endeavor) to pick them up, take garbage and recycle bins in for those same elderly ladies, and generally seem to be the block's healthy to-go-to person when needs arise. I have fixed fire alarms, reset thermostats, adjusted washing machine door problems, picked a snake off a window (used a fallen branch) and flung it up into a copse of trees.

It isn't all from guilt; but from the realization that we all are in the same boat, whether we know our date to die or not. My school and working years were centered on making my way; these years of grace are now shared with any with whom I can be assistance.

May your journey be long and may you be free to live life to the fullest.

[Loves2walk in reply to cllady01]

What positive posts from both!! Thank you so much for sharing them!

Keep up the great work and attitudes. You always make me feel so good!

[virdieblue in reply to cllady01]

Lovely, CLLady. May we all use our years of grace as wisely-

Virginia