Struggling

[Jmarieee]

I did a recent post regarding eyesight/ glasses, I go to a new optometrist next Saturday after 2 weeks of glasses that don't work again, but I am and have been in a lot of pain with my eyesight for two months now.

My family tell me to go and get it sorted, but I'm almost staying in physical pain as long as I can, because I am that afraid of the outcome being the worst and changing my appetite negatively, leading to more mental health low self esteem which would be worse.

I'm struggling to accept that my life may well change in a bad way, and I don't know how to cope with it?.

Thick glasses and bug eyes are my concern and due to numerous optometrists opinions it seems this is all I'm going to be offered, life feels very unfair especially when others with bad eyesight around me still have options to help make their glasses look less distorted.

My cousin didn't help yesterday, she was sat telling me how she's getting these lovely cat eye glasses and how her mum thinks she looks silly in her current pair... Meanwhile I am so limited on options and scared of judgment from others, my cousin knows my situation.

I feel like because it's not happening to my family directly, they have no worry about it but they cannot see why I am so worried about it, or they say it's just life.

Which I understand they won't view me differently, but the world will.

I feel like I'm going to be afraid to go out, take my daughter to school, look in a mirror, photos ( which has taken me years) I feel I will be left due to my appearance, so my future, relationship all gone, and then the judgement from society daily, aswell as quite possibly having to give up driving lessons due to crowding, so what could be my independence.

At 33 I wasn't expecting my life to do a 180, and I'm struggling to say the least 😔.

[Lemonqueen]

Hello Jmariee, I hear how much you are struggling . It is hard for you that your family don't understand how low you are feeling and offer you the support you need. Your cousin was insensitive with her comments, she may even have been, clumsily, trying to empathise. I think one of the difficulties with family can be that they see you as a whole person who they love, they don't focus in on parts of us, so they don't realise how self-conscious we can be of our visual differences. In fact, they are more concerned with our change of mood which is more obvious to them as it changes our personality. Because they don't understand how we feel and the root cause of our feelings and emotions, they can be overly simplistic in trying to help, with comments like, 'get over it' and 'that's life, get on with it,' which with the best will and love in the world from them in trying to help, unfortunately, doesn't help! I hope knowing you have a supportive community on here, helps, you really are not alone.

On a practical level, perhaps, you could get your glasses and wear them when alone at home, to give your eyes some relief from the pain you are experiencing? In the meantime, mental health is so important when we have these difficult times to cope with, so I would urge you speak with your GP, as you sound quite depressed to me. The further we sink into depression, the less likely we can get ourselves out of it, as our brains produce less of our happy hormones, so please do see what your GP can do. A healthier brain will give us more strength to deal with our difficulties.

And keep chatting on here, as my experience is that the members are supportive because they recognise the difficulties we struggle with. There is no quick fix, the extremely hard work in dealing with how we feel comes from ourselves, but having a supportive community is a blessing in the dark.

I realise my reply may not in anyway be useful, and I hope it hasnt been triggering to read. Please know I have sent it with healing best wishes and love. Tracey

[Jmarieee in reply to Lemonqueen]

Thank you for your response, sorry been busy and not spending much time in screens at the minute.

I spoke to a gp well several, therapy for a visible difference they don't know where to Access me therapy, I self referred via NHS and was told a year wait for high intensity cbt as low hasn't worked for my bdd in this past month before my eyesight began to have problems.

I was offered medication only no therapy that would be anytime soon, and I'm very apprehensive about taking medication because of side effects, I've had medication in the past for bdd and tried a variety of medications but without therapy I see it helping very little.

If I'm honest I don't want to gain weight, I'm at a healthy weight now and don't want to ruin my body too, because then I'll have to deal with that making me feel low on top of the glasses etc.. so it would create another issue.

I've always been petite, and since medication 4 years ago my metabolism has decreased and I'm not as tiny as I once was, that with LC and not being as active as I'd like also causes worry.

Yes I think that's it, that my family will see it as no issue because they love me for me, but it's the outside world and a relationship/ future I worry about.

Jade x

[Lemonqueen in reply to Jmarieee]

Oh Jade, so many things to deal with. I really hope you find the support you need. I work in mental health and know how stretched services are, but at least on the waiting list is a tiny step nearer. Keep chatting because everyone on here gets our emotional struggles, pretty powerful to know we are not alone. Xx