hi all. I’ve joined here to see if other have similar experiences and off any advice for my recent facial scar

[AnthonyJr]

hi I have recently become a victim of been stabbed in face which has left me needing 50 stitches. It’s early days and trying to come to terms that I’ll have this forever. I’m currently struggling to look at myself in the mirror and I’m not allowing people to se dmr. I love with supportive partner but see the pain in her eyes. I can sense when other see me it’s shocking. I work in avert demanding job and currently I see no hope in me continuing. I also have 9 year old daughter who has yet to see my face and I know she will be so scared. I feel at a loss and struggling to accept it and with how my life will change

[EvaChangingFaces Partner]

Hello AnthonyJr and Welcome to the Changing Faces Community. I’m deeply sorry to hear that you had something so terrible and traumatic happen to you. Thank you for being brave and posting your thoughts on here and sharing your story as I’m sure it will inspire lots of others to feel able to talk about their experience.

It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time at the moment, understandably so, and that you have been through a lot already trying to manage the physical and emotional implications of such an attack. This is incredibly hard to do, and I hope that you are allowing yourself time and space to process and heal after what you have been through. During this transitional time for you other people’s reactions or expectations can feel as an extra burden that you have to cope with, and you might want to consider developing some strategies on what feels comfortable and appropriate for you to communicate to others. You could have a look at the Changing Faces self-help guides free to download from changingfaces.org.uk/advice... and use it as a place to start.

It also sounds that you have people in your life like your partner and daughter, that care about you and you care about them and hopefully you could turn to them for some support and let them be there for you. It is clear that there is a lot to consider and deal with in terms of a life changing event like this and it could all feel frustrating and overwhelming at times especially whilst trying to come in terms with what happened and accept it. It’s really positive that you felt able to reach out to this community and I hope that you will find it helpful connecting with others here who might have been dealing with similar issues or had similar experiences and get some additional support this way.

Take care,

Eva - ChangingFaces

[Hidden]

HI AnthonyJr,

Oh man, where to start with this?

I'm so, so very sorry to hear that this happened to you. Forgive for me making an assumption, I am assuming that this is a knife crime and not accidental. It seems a safe assumption, but it is an assumption so please forgive me if that is wrong.

Which makes this more horrendous. For all the efforts to change the world for the better so that people don't feel they have to carry knives, they do. And things like this are the inevitable consequence. So on top of the injury, which is bad enough, there is an insult in that someone didn't care, or meant, to do this.

And the person who was so in the wrong doesn't have to live with it. You do. and your partner.... and your daughter.

Unless we catch the person responsible........

You have my utter admiration for posting this. It is a major first step to saying "you know, world? You're not beating me".

You have though identified a major asset and ally to you though for your life, your daughter. and it may be you don't get over this, but you will get past it, which is subtly different. And if you can make her part of that, then hopefully she will see you are a tough cookie to be proud of, and a scar is not something to be scared off.

I can't and won't tell you how to move forward, but I am sure that there is a path for you, and your daughter I have faith will be instrumental in that. I have a very supportive wife with my own issues. I know what it means when you say you feel the pain your partner is feeling.

Talk to them. And don't be frightened to make it about both of you. You both are feeling the shock and anger of this. And if you partner is anything like my wife, they would eat red hot molten rock if it could take the pain from you.....

I wish you the very best for the future, and look forward to hearing how you progress along whatever path you feel best.

And as ever, we are here, if you should need us. We are but a keyboard click away.

[Solocat Community Ambassador]

Hello Anthony Jr. and please be very welcome to the Changing Faces Community! I'm glad you reached out to the community in order to get advice and options; you really started with a good landing here and I hope you can find our community advice helpful. It's not an easy thing to go through traumatic experiences and there's no book of instructions designed specifically for every individual experience as we all go through different situations according to our particular history, like in your case it was something completely and acutely unexpected and now you have to deal with a situation for which you were not ready! I really encourage you to visit our resources, as Eva kindly directed. You will find helpful coping tips from and to people that have gone through a lot. Please bear in mind you can reach out to your GP to express your concerns and to seek professional advice, which I'm sure will be so helpful to you.

In the meantime, feel free to be embraced by our community and find yourself at home here. This is a community of like-minded people, all of us being through experiences that have left a visible mark on our bodies or faces, so we know what we're talking about when we say there's hope! There are ways to cope and overcome our differences and how other people react to them. And of course, your daughter will love you regardless, children don't care, they see you as your dad, and any rejection from them comes just for ideas from other people as they hear what others say. So, love them and your spouse, and support them. This is a time to love them more than ever, and you'll see how they will love you as much in return.

So, Anthony my friend, accept your challenge and prove to yourself you're a winner in spite of that unfortunate event. I don't know what else to tell you, but be sure I'll be here to talk and share your thoughts and life experiences. I hope to hear from you soon! 😀😀

[loobeeloo345]

Hi Anthony, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I was attacked by a dog when I was a child and have lived with a serious facial deformity most of my life. It does not mean it’s necessarily any easier to see strangers reactions, however family live you and will come to terms with it, possibly before you do. Changing faces run amazing counselling sessions. I recently went on a series of group therapy sessions and it changed my outlook on life. It literally was like a light bulb going on in my head, so I would suggest trying it when you are ready. Also changing faces can help you with skin camouflage which you may want to use, it certainly helps with redness etc. good luck to you! I know deep down that it’s only skin and shouldn’t affect you as a person but I acknowledge that how I look is part of my identity and sometimes it can be difficult. On the difficult days reach out for support, there are plenty of people who understand!