New - cycling accident!

[Chantal]

i had a bad cycling 2 months ago in France. A completely straight and flat road, on a cycle path, I was drafting a friend and hit a pot hole.

I hit the tarmac face first at 28-30kph, i don't recommend it.

I was stitched back together by maxfax in Grenoble and i am now under the care of 'restorative dentistry' at KCH. I lost my entire bottom deck of teeth (one of those was pushed in to my jaw and decided to come out on the tube the other day 🤢), upstairs was reimplanted but Christ knows what's going on there at the moment!

I have extensive scar tissue due to the complexity and depth of the wound, limiting the function of my mouth. I can't close my mouth or open fully, i can't pronounce the p,b or the m (which is doing my nut in), and, worse of all, i can't kiss my kids goodnight ...

I am doing scar massage but it doesn't seem to make a huge difference. Microneedling is not advised because of the depth of the scar tissue. Scar revision is an option when the scars are mature, ie in 12-18m time.

The thought of never being able to kiss again is v hard to accept. Please tell me the scar tissue will get more flexible!!

I am seeing a SALT to see if they can help with the speech impediment.

Final question. Wonky faces & dating .... how does that work? In this world where we all look at pictures and swipe, does anyone ever swipe right on a wonky face?

It's strange when you think about it. It should be about whether someone makes you laugh or is kind, but a face and appearance is still a large part of attraction. Experiences?

Chantal

[Circuitbreaker Community Ambassador]

Hi Chantal,

I am so sorry to hear about your accident. I quite agree. Any bit of you meeting asphalt is not good.

You are clearly here though posting. For your safety, I'm very glad , and its great to hear from you.

Not so long ago, if it hadn't been for my wife's incredible driving talents, we'd had piled right into the back of a car (in our car). Her skills right then saved us. Remember Icarus? He flew too close to the Sun, and fell. Sometimes, we never know just how close we fly to disaster.

You had a close encounter, and you survived it. You are here. And we are glad to have you here. The alternative is not thinkable!

I can't comment on scars. This issue doesn't affect me directly at this time, but there are people who are, who will be more expert on this, and I will leave it to them to speak!

Wonky faces? ha! I know people with "normal" faces whose personality is bad they are "wonky" in my view. Frankly, "YOU", the person that is Chantal, is way more than your image suggests. Most people I know have so much underlying depth of character, personality and warmth of persona, that a scar isn't an issue. Why should you be so very different from others? You're way more than a scar....

As for kissing, and dating. Well a kiss is the most human expression of affection there is. You will make it work. Only you know what works, and if it is your kids, just talk to them as you feel able. They may ask some wierd questions (show me a kid that doesn't ?!!) but you will find your way.

As for dating, well. I'm married. It works! Nuff said!! again, you feel for what works and what does not. But it starts with talking.

Best wishes

CB.

[EvaChangingFaces Partner]

Welcome to the Changing Faces Community, Chantal. It sounds like you've been through a lot recently and it must have been challenging recovering physically and emotionally from such an impactful accident. Thank you for sharing your situation with everyone here. It sounds very difficult and frustrating having to adjust to a new way of doing things and maybe accepting what might be lost in the process.

Many people we talk to say they feel uncertain about dating and intimate relationships when living with a visible difference or disfigurement as they would worry about their appearance and how other people would view them. I'm sure people will recognise some of what you're saying here especially with all the attention and focus that society and social media put on appearance. Although this is a much more complicated issue than it can be described in a few sentences it might be helpful to think about the fact that the quality of being attractive is about much more than how we look and even though this is the first thing someone will notice on a date with someone they haven’t met before, anyone worth your time will be looking for much more than skin-deep qualities. Perhaps if you have the time or energy, you could look at some of the Changing Faces self-help guides on relationships and dating on our website changingfaces.org.uk/advice...

Hopefully, as the community grows, you'll find people to connect with and continue to share your thoughts.

Take care,

Eva – ChangingFaces